Crew Sign Rapids Striker

Nicolas Hernandez has joined the Columbus Crew. We aquired the 28 year-old Argentine forward from Colorado in exchange for Tim Ward and a 3rd round pick in 2009.

Hernandez scored 7 goals and bagged 6 assists 2 years ago in his debut season in MLS, and was the Team MVP. Last season, he did not net nearly as many goals, mostly because he was left playing midfield and forward to help aid the depleted Crapids up front.

Basically, when this guy has someone to get him the ball, he can score. I would also say he's never had as good of a distributor during his time in MLS as he will have in Guillermo Barros Schelotto. And you can't discount the fact that these two came up in the same Argentine football talent pool, thus meaning they should click well on the field. After all, they were taught the game in a similar way, much like two American players are more likely to click playing the Bundesliga than they would with their German counterparts.

Add in the talents of Robbie Rogers, Alejandro Moreno, and Eddie Gaven, and suddenly, the Crew have options up front.

As far as losing Tim Ward, I'll take it. We have plenty of young talent on defense, and he did not impress in his limited action. Plus, I like the fact that we still have the possibility of adding a designated player, though that possibility seems about as likely as Amy Winehouse getting sober.

Still, we have hope. Kudos to the FO for getting a deal done, finally.

Is That the New Crew Slogan, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Crew slogan for 2008:

Work Hard. Play Harder.

Apparently that's replacing the "One Nation. On the Sod" travesty. Good riddance. I was never a fan. I can deal with this one though. It plays off our "Hardest Working Team" idea, and gets across the idea that our team is full of guys that bust it for 90 minutes, like Alejandro Moreno and Frankie Hejduk.

OK, those guys are the only two, but still, we were the home of Brian McBride, dammit, doesn't that count for anything?

Give me a t-shirt, and sign me up. Maybe John C. Reilly can be in the commercials.

A Cup the Crew Should Win Every Year

The front offices of the both the Crew and Toronto F.C. are giddy with excitement over their latest idea: A cup for the winner of the Crew/TFC 3 game series every year. From TFA (The Fookin' Article):

We think that March 29th is the start of something big. Columbus and Toronto FC will play three times over the course of the season, and with Toronto as our closest geographical opponent (six hours is nothing in a car), we want to raise the stakes. We'll put our head to head record on the line to see who comes out on top at the end of the season.

First, six hours is not "nothing". That's a long time to be stuck in a car. Second, when I go to Chicago or DC, I don't have to cross an international border. So while Toronto may be "close", it's no where near the easiest city to get to. So I don't know how good of a rivalry this is going to be for Crew fans, since we'll have to get passports when we want to go.

That said, here are some suggestions for naming the cup/trophy/wooden shoe. If you come up with something better, submit it at the link I posted earlier in the article:

The Butter Bacon Trophy:
Canada has bacon; Ohio has butter. This trophy will allow the MLS PR department to use the phrase "heart-stopping action" when describing the rivalry, even though that phrase will be referencing the caloric values of both foods. Still, if we could tie an eating contest onto this sum'bitch, I'd love to watch.

The Great Lakes Plate
Ohio and Toronto sit on the Great Lakes. Also, "The Great Lakes Plate" sounds like a seafood platter you could find in a local restaurant in either Columbus or Toronto. Why does this keep going back to food?

The Builder's Cup
My buddy Derrick actually suggested this. Since Columbus and Toronto were the first to build soccer-specific stadiums in their respective countries, this actually makes sense.

The Border Bell, presented by Taco Bell
Again food, I know. But I'm thinking that since Ohio and Toronto both kind of border the other country, we make it a border war theme. Then I thought a bell would be cool, just because everyone has a cup or trophy. But who has a bell? Coolness factor of 1 billion for that. And since Honda sponsors the Superclassico, why can't we get a sponsor?

And finally,

The "We Needed a Reason to Get You to Come to the Game Between Two of the Worst Teams in MLS, So We Came Up With This Stupid Rivalry Game" Trophy

Kinda has a nice ring to it...

Sigmund's Legacy

Last year, many soccer insiders were impressed that the Crew were able to snag Guillermo Barros Schelotto from Argentine first-division giants Boaca Juniors. The credit for that deal getting done lies with the Crew front office, and most notably, Sigi Schmid, the coach who was brought in to bring professionalism and class to the organization. It is believed that his massive network of soccer contacts were used to set up the meetings with GBS that ultimately brought him to the Crew.

But as positive a reflection as that deal represents on Sigi's legacy, there is an an equally-sized stain on the coach's legend with Crew fans. And it involves a player named Andy Herron.



Herron was aquired from Chicago last year in exchange for the Crew's first round pick in the draft, which was the number 2 overall selection. The Chicago Fire drafted Bakary Soumare with that pick. Herron went on to score a few goals for the Crew, but never ended up making a dent in the rotation because he had trouble with

A.) Injuries
B.) Red cards (see picture above)

While I personally liked the guy, he never stuck with Sigi, and eventually ended up being a healthy scratch. This didn't sit well with Herron, and the chasm between he and Fearless Leader deepened. Eventually, the Crew sent Herron on his way to play for Puntarenas FC. Meanwhile, they traded his domestic rights back to Chicago for a 4th round draft pick in 2010.

Then, things get interesting. The Fire re-signed Herron to a domestic contract.

That means at the end of the day, the Fire traded Andy Herron for Andy Herron and Bakary Soumare. The Crew meanwhile are left with a draft pick in 2010. So, not next year, but the year after that, we might get some NAIA forward who sucks.

The mere fact that the Crew bungled this deal is more than enough to convict a front office who has put together a team that has failed to make the playoffs three years in a row (remember, in MLS, eight out of the thirteen teams made the playoffs last year, so fewer teams missed them than made them). But the fact that they bungled a deal that heavily favored towards not just any team, but one of the Crew's arch-rivals? Unconscionable.

I am now more sure than ever that Sigi the Blimp, Mark McCullers, and Hunt Sports Group are wrong for this team. They have had their time, and they have squandered it. This is not to say that one of them might not work better seperately of the others (Honestly, I think Sigi would be better off without Mark, and definitely better off with a more willing holder of the purse strings). But if the Crew are ever to move forward, it cannot be with the current infrastructure. Many of you feel the same way I do, but could easily be persuaded to buy back in if the Crew were to pick up a DP, or roll off five straight wins to start the season.

Not me. Until we see a cup, I will not be convinced that the McCullers/Sigi/HSG marriage is a good one.

Exhibition Games

Apparently the Crew didn't do so hot against Shitcago, losing 3-2. Damn it. Even though it's just an exhibition, I hate to lose to those bastards. Also, their Polish trialist Tomasz Frankowski scored twice in 3 minutes, which should make the Shitcago Aryan Brotherhood very happy. Racists.

Oh, and in case you're keeping score, our almost Polish player, Doucheski, and his suck-ass 3rd division Greek squad got hit by an earthquake.



Can't stand that guy.

Crew Bullets

Bunch of interesting stories and articles of note coming out of Crew Nation in the last few days:

First, kudos to Crew keeper Will Hesmer (or as we like to call him, Ricky Bobby) for starting a blog on the Crew's website.

Will tells us about the rigors fo training camp, and cracks some jokes as well. Not bad, Will.

Also from the Crew's website comes an update on the team's start of training camp in Florida.

Finally, an article from the Dispatch's grumpy-old man Bob Hunter. Bobby has been known for his sour disposition towards soccer in general in years past, but this article is spot on. The Crew would be better served by a local ownership group that has to deal with the negative feedback the team hears from its fans after three losing seasons. Plus, with MLS requiring new teams to have locally-based owners, it's going to probably become a reality sooner than later that Hunt Sports Group, which is located in Dallas, will need to think about selling the Crew.

I've got $20, anyone else want to chip in?

Zurawski Has a New Nickname

And that would be "Douche-ski"

So, why did the Polish striker decide to turn down Columbus' offer? Read on:

"I wanted to go to Columbus, I really did. But, when I heard about the length of contract they wanted me to sign, the smile disappeared from my face. Three years in the United States would be too much, I think. So I was full of stress again because I couldn't accept this length of deal. Going back to Poland would have been the ultimate, but I didn't have one single offer from home... The biggest difference in Greece is the weather. I have moved from Scotland, a rainy and gloomy dark land, to a place where the sun shines for 12 months of the year.

Douche-ski didn't want to play for Columbus because he didn't like the weather, didn't want a three-year deal, or was depressed. Also, he apparently realizes how suck-ass Larissa is, and is doing all he can to endure himself to the fans:

"Larissa is my last chance and I hope I will find a better club in future than some team in the middle of the Greek league."

How can a team be your "last chance" when you're hoping to play for a "better club in future than some team in the middle of the Greek league"?

Forget being depressed about losing this guy. I am convinced now after reading these quotes that Dousche-ski would have been a headcase/locker room cancer/prima donna, and the Crew will ultimately be better without him.

Still, they need to find someone to score goals.

2008 Full Schedule Released

1 Saturday, Mar 29 Toronto FC Home 4:00
2 Saturday, Apr 05 (FSC/FSE) New York Red Bulls Away 7:30
3 Saturday, Apr 12 Chivas USA Home 7:30
4 Thursday, Apr 17 (ESPN 2) D.C. United Home 8:00
5 Sunday, Apr 26 Houston Dynamo Home 7:30
6 Saturday, May 03 (FSC) K.C. Wizards Home 7:30
7 Saturday, May 10 San Jose Earthquakes Away 10:00
8 Saturday, May 17 (MS/5) Toronto FC Away 3:30
9 Saturday, May 24 (FSC/FSE) NE Revolution Home 7:30
10 Saturday, May 31 Chivas USA Away 10:30
11 Saturday, Jun 07 (HDnet) San Jose Earthquakes Home 7:30
12 Saturday, Jun 14 K.C. Wizards Away 8:00
13 Saturday, Jun 21 (MS/5) L.A. Galaxy Away 10:30
14 Saturday, June 28 (FSC/FSE) Colorado Rapids Home 7:30
15 Sautrday, Jul 05 (FSC/FSE) Chicago Fire Home 8:00
16 Saturday, Jul 12 (HDNet) Real Salt Lake Away 9:00
17 Thursday, Jul 17 (ESPN 2) K.C. Wizards Home 8:00
18 Sunday, July 27 Colorado Rapids Away 9:30
19 Saturday, Aug 02 Houston Dynamo Away 8:30
20 Saturday, Aug 16 (FSC/FSE) FC Dallas Home 7:30
21 Saturday, Aug 23 Real Salt Lake Home 7:30
22 Saturday, Aug 30 FC Dallas Away 8:30
23 Saturday, Sep 06 (HDnet) NE Revolution Home 7:30
24 Saturday, Sep 13 Toronto FC Away 3:30
25 Thursday, Sep 18 (ESPN 2) New York Red Bulls Home 7:00
26 Sunday, Sep 28 (FSC) NE Revolution Away 7:30
27 Sauturday, Oct 04 (HDnet) L.A. Galaxy Home 7:30
28 Saturday, Oct 12 (TeleFutura) Chicago Fire Away 3:00
29 Saturday, Oct 18 New York Red Bulls Away 7:30
30 Sunday, Oct 26 DC United Away 5:00

Two home games and an away game on ESPN2. I can live with that.

Rogers Snubbed By Bradley

Once again, Columbus's Robbie Rogers gets snubbed by Bob Bradley. Here is the lineup for tonight's friendly with Mexico:

Player Name Pos. Ht. Wt. Birth Date Caps/G Hometown Club
Adu, Freddy M 5’8” 140 6/2/1989 2/0 Potomac, Md. SL Benfica (Portugal)
Altidore, Josmer F 6’1” 175 11/6/1989 2/0 Boca Raton, Fla. New York Red Bulls (MLS)
Bocanegra, Carlos D 6'0 170 5/25/1979 53/8 Alto Loma, Calif. Fulham FC (England)
Bradley, Michael M 6’2” 175 7/31/1987 14/1 Cedar Grove, N.J. SC Heerenveen (Holland)
Clark, Ricardo M 5’10” 150 5/10/1983 11/1 Jonesboro, Ga. Houston Dynamo (MLS)
Convey, Bobby M 5'8 150 5/27/1983 45/1 Philadelphia, Pa. Reading FC (England)
Corrales, Ramiro D 6’1” 170 3/12/1977 5/0 Salinas, Calif. SK Brann (Norway)
Davis, Brad M 5’11” 165 11/8/1981 3/0 St. Charles, Mo. Houston Dynamo (MLS)
Dempsey, Clint F 6’1” 170 3/9/1983 36/9 Nacogdoches, Texas Fulham FC (England)
Donovan, Landon F 5'8 148 3/4/1982 97/35 Redlands, Calif. Los Angeles Galaxy (MLS)
Edu, Maurice M 6’0” 170 4/18/1986 2/0 Fontana, Calif. Toronto FC (MLS)
Feilhaber, Benny M 5’9” 150 1/19/1985 14/2 Irvine, Calif. Derby County (England)
Guzan, Brad GK 6’4” 210 9/9/1984 5/0 Homer Glen, Ill. Chivas USA (MLS)
Holden, Stuart M 5'10" 160 08/01/85 0/0 Houston, Texas Houston Dynamo (MLS)
Howard, Tim GK 6’3” 210 3/6/1979 26/0 North Brunswick, N.J. Everton FC (England)
Lewis, Eddie M/D 5'10 155 5/17/1974 73/8 Cerritos, Calif. Derby County (England)
Moor, Drew D 6’0” 170 1/15/1984 3/0 Dallas, Texas FC Dallas (MLS)
Noonan, Pat F 6’0” 170 8/2/1980 14/1 Ballwin, Mo. Aalesund FK (Norway)
Onyewu, Oguchi D 6’4” 210 5/13/1982 28/2 Olney, Md. Standard de Liege (Belgium)
Parkhurst, Michael D 5’11” 155 1/24/1984 3/0 Providence, R.I. New England Revolution (MLS)
Pearce, Heath D 5’10” 175 8/13/1984 10/0 Modesto, Calif. Hansa Rostock (Germany)
Robinson, Eddie D 6’1” 195 6/19/1978 1/1 Greensboro, N.C. Houston Dynamo (MLS)

I can understand Eddie Gaven not getting a nod, he didn't show much the last time. But give Robbie a chance, this game has no bearing on anything, other than the US Soccer fans' collective psyche. Plus he looked great in the U20's last year. Let's see what we've got.

Here's hoping the snub sets Robbie off, and he snags 12 goals this season.

Tentative Crew Home Schedule

Aces to Shawn Mitchell of the Dispatch for getting the scoop on the Crew's home schedule before it is released this week. Have a look:

March 29, 2008, 4:00 PM, Toronto FC
April 12, 2008, 7:30 PM, Chivas USA
April 26, 2008, 7:30 PM, Houston Dynamo
May 3, 2008, 7:30 PM, Kansas City Wizards
May 24, 2008, 7:30 PM, New England Revolution
June 7, 2008, 7:30 PM, San Jose Earthquakes
June 28, 2008, 7:30 PM, Colorado Rapids
July 5, 2008, 7:30 PM, Chicago Fire
July 17, 2008, 8:00 PM, Kansas City Wizards
August 16, 2008, 7:30 PM, FC Dallas
August 23, 2008, 7:30 PM, Real Salt Lake
September 6, 2008, 7:30 PM, New England Revolution
September 18, 2008, 7:00 PM, New York Red Bulls
October 4, 2008, 7:30 PM, Los Angeles Galaxy
October 26, 2008, 5:00 PM, D.C. United

Things to notice:

- The Crew's only home game with Shitcago comes on July 4th weekend.

- The Crew will end with a flurry, playing the Revs, Red Bulls, and D.C. United, with Beckham and the Galaxy sprinkled in.

- The Crew will be on ESPN at least twice, as July 17 vs. the Wiz and September 18th vs. NYRB are both Thursday night games.

- The final game (DC) will be on a Sunday. I might need to schedule that Monday off, just in case...

- I don't notice any Wednesday night games? Are there no Buck-A-Brat nights?

- The two-timers this season are KC and New England.

- Fortunately, we only have to deal with the Red-Snatch Boys from Toronto once this season, and it's the first game of the year.

Seems to be pretty fair, though I wonder about those Buck-A-Brat nights. If they are gone, I will have to wonder why the Crew are cutting costs, which will lead me to loathe the stage even more.

The Cost of Doing Business

Want your blood to boil?


Here's a list of transfer fees MLS paid to bring in top talent for the league:

Fee Player From To
$4,000,000 Hernandez, Luis UANL Tigres Los Angeles
$2,000,000 Graziani, Ariel Morelia Dallas
$1,400,000 Etcheverry, Marco Colo Colo D.C. United
$1,000,000 Valderrama, Carlos Atletico Junior Tampa Bay
$800,000 Hong, Myung-Bo Pohang Steelers Los Angeles
$500,000 Nowak, Peter 1860 Munich Chicago
$300,000 Comas, Alex Atletico National New York
$250,000 Diallo, Mamadou Lillestrom Tampa Bay
$250,000 Galvan Rey, Sergio Once Caldas New York
$200,000 Moreno, Jaime Middlesbrough D.C. United

And a list of fees MLS received from transfering an MLS player to another team:

Fee Player From To
$3,600,000 Howard, Tim New York Manchester Utd
$3,000,000 John, Stern Columbus Nottingham Forest
$2,500,000 Beasley, DaMarcus Chicago PSV Eindhoven
$2,000,000 Ralph, Damani Chicago Rubin Kazan
$1,900,000 Lewis, Eddie San Jose Fulham
$1,700,000 Friedel, Brad Columbus Liverpool
$1,500,000 McBride, Brian Columbus Fulham
$1,500,000 Convey, Bobby D.C. United Reading
$1,300,000 Bartlett, Shaun New York Zurich

Notice anything? The Columbus Crew have had three of their players sold, bringing the league transfer fees of $6.2 million dollars. Yet not once have the Crew received help in transferring a player of the same value on the market.

Now, granted, one could assume that the league would hae been helping pay the transfer fees incurred had the Crew landed Zurawski. Still, the inequity of these figures cannot be ignored.

My solution? Let each team retain a set portion of their transfer fees in a "savings account" the league sets up that they can use at their discretion. After all, the Crew received McBride perfectly by chance as the first pick in the inaugural draft, so they don't have a right to all the money. Besides, the league does own the players. Still, one could argue that Columbus did an excellent job identifying and cultivating the talent in McBride, John, and Friedel. Some of that money should stay at home to compensate the club.

Also, Jaime Moreno has to be the biggest steal of that list as far as what the league paid, vs. what it got in return. Damn, I hate DC.

Carroll is now CTID

Whenever a team aquires a new player, there's always the concern that said player might not work out, or give his all, especially when said player has been a one-team guy his entire career. However, there's also the distict possibility that said player will feel spurned by the old team, and thus, do everything in his power to hit them in the mouth when the time comes.

Enter this article about Brian Carrol.

A few select cuts:

“You know, I had a good run with D.C. I’ll always look back on my time there in a positive manner,” said Carroll. “I gave everything I could for the club and when they decided to leave me unprotected, I understood it. But at the same time, it was a little disconcerting."

“The fact that I did go from D.C. to San Jose to Columbus, I think inherently puts a little chip on your shoulder where you want to come back and make sure the new team you’re playing for gets a leg up,” he said. “I’ll always make sure that I’m playing at my highest level and competing as best I can, but sure, coming back and playing against D.C. will have a little bit more f*re.”

(Sorry, we had to edit Brian's use of the word "f*re", as he's still getting used to the rules here in Crew Nation.)

I like hearing this from a new player, especially a player of Carroll's quality. He'll be a big help for the Crew this year, and there will not be a need to motivate him against our arch rivals.

Ricken To Visit Columbus

Here's hoping they take him to Schmidts...


Dortmund Legend Lars Ricken Eyes Crew Move

Definitely fits the mold of a "field general" that Sigi has said he wants, a player who can be an extension of the coaching staff on the pitch. Since Ricken wants to be a coach eventually, this would seem like a natural fit. I personally hope they can spend less than DP money on the guy, and use that money to get a proven striker.

More info on Ricken can be found here.

Just Like Magic...

POOF! He's gone.

Maciej Zurawski signs with Greek side Larissa.

Honestly, I was debating whether or not to use "Larissa Expains It All" as the title.

First off, it's easy to blame the Crew, Hunt Sports Group, McCullers, MLS, etc... But the blame lies squarely with Zurawski, if anyone. He was the one who decided that he would rather go play for a suck-ass 3rd division Greek squad than to play for the Crew. His agent didn't so much as give the Crew a chance to counter offer. Obviously, Zurawski got a better offer, took the money, and ran. That's his perogative (or is that "pirogitive?", but that's not on the Crew FO. I wish they would have got this deal done, but as more details come out, there looks as though there wasn't much those guys could do.

This loss does suck, just because it puts the Crew back at square one, looking for an impact player who can join the squad and make an immediate impact. However, I don't think it's the end of the world. Remember, last year, Sigi pulled Guillermo Barros Schelotto out of Argentina in the first month of the season. Since the Crew have been actively looking, there's a chance they have other solid "back up" players they're loking at, and in MLS, a "back-up" plan can still be a 15 goal-scorer.

Still, it's maddening the luck this club seems to have sometimes. My hope is that by the end of the season, we're toasting the DP signee we got, and looking back on this ordeal as a blessing, and not a curse.

Also, I hope Zurawski breaks every leg in his sausage-eating body.