I need some help. After a 4-1 start to the season, all of the soft-squishy parts of my body are becoming numb to my constant pinching in my vain attempt to wake myself up from what I thought had to be a dream. Apparently it's not. Last night was yet another historic night for the Nordecke, and the Crew are off to their best start in 10 years! Danny O'Rourke even got an interview on 610 WTVN's sports show this morning. And to top it all off, Toronto knocked off KC, leaving Columbus alone at the top of the table!
As always, here are my thoughts after re-watching the replay online:
Pre-kick:
Welcome to Crew Stadium! The always-cool Dwight Burgess and ever-annoying Bill McDermott have the call for us today on CSN, which is the only OTA signal in Columbus to have not gone digital yet. Hope they get on that soon.
First Half:
:55 - First goal kick of the game, and as Pat Onstad flights a long ball into the Columbus half of the field, one can clearly hear the Nordecke's "You suck, asshole" over the broadcast team.
I'll take a moment here to give kudos to the man known as Hard Hat Mike. He fought off bronchitis and stood in the pit, valiantly leading the cheers with the brand new and much-anticipated megaphone. You earned that face-paint last night, Mike.
1:50 - Carrachio puts a header to the goal, but William Hesmer steps up to make his first save of the game. Leaving the game last night, from what I could see, Hesmer was heads and shoulders above all the choice for MOTM. We'll see if I still feel that way after rewatching the game.
2:15 - Bizarre play. Mulrooney plays the ball back to Onstad, who had already committed to sliding to pick it up. Houston gives up and indirect free kick in the box. This gave me one fewer items on my "stuff I've never seen live at a soccer game" list. Now all I have left are "compound fracture", "keeper scoring from the opposite net", and "Abel Xavier playing decently."
6:01 - You can clearly hear "Columbus" in the background.
6:39 - I know it's completely juvenile, but I laugh every time Bill McDermott says "Sigi really like the balls he plays into the midfield". I just wish Dwight would follow that up with a long pause, and then "Yep, Sigi is a fan of that player's balls..."
8:30 - Pat Onstad is apparently an asshole, and he sucks. So I hear.
10:01 - Wow, almost a foul in the box for Franklin Hejduk. (Hey, if Will Hesmer insists on being called "William", I'm keeping that rule for all the players). The fould was LITERALLY an inch outside of the box.
11:15 - Gene Padula gets in on the fouling action. If you doubt for a second that the "Fair Play" Award is a joke, watch a 2008 Crew game. The team was blatantly offended by that award, and is now overcompensating by fouling the bejesus out of every team they face. Not that I mind, I'm just saying...
11:47 - Crap! Houston 1-0 off a Brad Davis free kick.
BUT WAIT! The ref does and Amy Winhouse and says "No, No, No." Dwayne DeRosario was off by a country mile, and the flag goes up.
Hang on, I have to go change my pants...
OK, I'm back.
13:25 - Although it sounds like "blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah Columbus!", it's actually, "Yo se le voy, le voy a Columbus" or something like that. It's a La Turbina chant that apparently means "I am the voice of Columbus". Anyway, you can hear that now too.
15:48 - OK, now I'm hearing the "Alejandro Moreno" chant to the tune of The White Stripe's "Seven Nation Army." Need to change my pants again, but now for totally different reasons.
16:43 - Franklin Hejduk works to clear the ball, only to get it batted down by referee Terry Vaughn's noggin. And down goes Vaughn! Our head zebra tried to shake it off, but he needed a second to recompose himself. Also, Jason Matthews, head trainer for the Crew, came out to give him a look. On the broadcast, you can see Jason and Terry having a laugh. Which reminds me, I'll have to tell you a story about Jason later on, as the man is a cool cat.
19:37 - Wade Barrett heads the ball down, and almost right to GBS's foot. Sadly Onstad makes a save. Apparently the Houston defense wants to make sure he's back to full strength.
21:30 - Little noticed, but true: Adam Moffat saves the ball that Guillermo plays into the box. In the ensuing scrum, the ball is knocked over the endline by a Houston player, setting up Guille's corner. Once again, Adam Moffat has a hand in a key play for the Crew.
21:52 - GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAL! Alejandro makes it three games in a row, and scores his 4th in 5 games!
Guillermo sends in a beautiful outswinging cross, which Chad Marshall heads on goal after coming off one of the best screens I've seen since March Madness. Moreno doesn't quit on the play, and the Crew are up 1-0!
In related news, Joseph Ngwenya is trying to learn Swiss.
27:21 - Boby Boswell chops down Moreno, and gets booked. Can I just say that song is stuck in my head yet again? Aaaaahlenhandro Mooorenoooo!
29:35 - This buildup from Robert Rogers was fantastic. Rogers steals the ball in the defensive third, beats two men, lays it off briefly to Schelotto, who taps right into more space for Rogers, who passes to Edward Gaven, who carries it across the field and hits Franklin Hejduk in space, who flights a beautiful ball that Moreno is mere inches from burying into the back of the net. Unfortunately, Patrick Onstad gets to the ball first.
(Hey, don't look at me. Blame William Hesmer for starting the full-name trend...)
30:50 - Speaking of, Hemser makes a tough 50-50 save, taking a shot in the ribs in the process. He really put his body on the line during this game.
33:55 - William Hesmer somehow makes a save after poor clearance from the Crew back line. He ends up stuffing Carrachio, then as Carrachio and Carrol get tangled up, jumps on the pile to keep the ball an inch off the goal line. That looked more like rugby than soccer.
34:57 - And on the ensuing attack, Gino Padula uncorks a right-footed beauty of a shot that would make Beckham jealous. The shot is JUST over the bar, but on the plus side, it did break one of the Crewzer's legs. Their hammy, untoned legs that is.
45+ - GBS ends the half with a beautiful cross off a set piece, but it is just barely poked away by Onstad. Can't imagine how nuts the place would have been had we scored there. Ah well.
2nd half
47:51 - Adam Moffat sees the yellow for a late challenge on Ricardo Clark. I'm OK with that, but the Crew are going to need to start watching out for accumulation.
49:55 - First corner of the night for Houston in the Nordecke, and oh was it a shower! Davis doesn't end up kicking this thing until the 52nd minute, and Guille has to come over to tell us to stop. Hahahahahaha! Tremendous showing by the Nordecke once again. If I were the opposing team, I would not want to take corners in that end.
54:56 - Great run by Rogers, and Guille finds him in the open space. Robbie takes it across the 18 yard box, and fires a shot, well-defended though by Onstad.
As long as the Crew keep winning , I'm OK with Robbie's shots not going in. That may sound odd, but I'd rather have a full summer of Robbie than a summer of Robbie splitting time with the U-23's in China. Once the final roster is set in stone, I hope he bags three a game. Until then, keep shooting it Robbie!
55:59 - Bill McDermott just said that he's heard a lot of rumors about Riquelme. So, it's official: McD reads Big Soccer.
56:40 - More streamers from the Nordecke, and the broadcast team have the utter gumption to say that Crew fans are essentially just ripping off Toronto FC fans.
Are you kidding me? Watch any game in South America, and you'll see the same thing. Toronto fans can put another quill in their already enlarged hat, though, because apprently Dwight Burgess and Bill McDermott think TFC fans came up with the idea. Unbelievable.
59:13 - Pat Onstad is on his game tonight. He punches away another dangerous cross off the foot Guille from a set piece. Onstad is the reason the Dynamo didn't lose this game 4-0.
60:10 - OK, someone needs to tell Gino Padula that he's a defender, and he's not supposed to be so good offensively. He hits a wicked left-footed shot off the crossbar from the set piece. Kudos to Sigi for pulling that guy out of the French 2nd division.
62:15 - Hesmer gets his body in the way off another cross, and lays out in the process to come away with it in a scrum. Really, this game was a battle of two great keepers. Seeing as how Onstad was the keeper for the league champs the last two years, I'll take having his counterpart on a night like this.
64:25 - Sideline gal Katie Witham talks with Sigi about an apparent tweaking of the knee that Gino Padula suffered earleir in the match. Sigi explains that Gino has to come off because he's hurt, which explains the EZ sub that had all of us in attendance scratching our heads. Still, he didn't look injured after that free kick...
65:30 - Guille whistles one just outside the near post, and it looks like it would have beat Onstad had it had just a little less bend to it. Guille is still pure class, and his haircut is legendary.
68:33 - This is where Hesmer starts to shine. He knocks down a screaming shot from DeRosario, and covers for the save. Truly some great goalkeeping in this game.
73:09 - Daniel O'Rourke clears after Hesmer comes off his line for a tough challenge. I know a lot of people were getting on to D earlier this year, but he has really stepped up his game after getting his PK situations out of the way.
74:09 - If Patrick Ianni had a lunch, Alejandro Moreno ate it by this point. Milkshake was drank as well. That's two really poor games from Ianni.
74:53 - Alejandro Moreno gets another header from a Guille cross, only to have it cleared off the line by one of the Houston field players! Oh, he's so close to having 7-8 goals instead of 4.
79:25 - Again, the Crew loses power on one of the lights above the stadium. That's about the only thing they've lost at home all season...
BA-DUM BUM PSSH! Thank you, I'll be here all week!
80:41 - William Hesmer takes a knock while going to clear a corner kick in the box, and he stays down. It looks from the replay that he got clipped in midair by one of the Houston players or Ezra. In person, it looked like Ezra got him with an elbow. Either way, he got back up and got to hear the Nordecke chanting "William Hesmer!"
81:13 Jason Matthews is on the field looking at Hesmer, which reminds me of the story I wanted to tell you:
As we were all cheering earlier in the game, Matthews was running down by our corner. He looks up in the stands, smiled, and then pulled up his warmup shirt to reveal his Hudson Street Hooligans shirt! HSH is grwoing massively, folks.
82:45 - Hesmer dusts himself off to make another spectacular save. I want to get a William Hesmer wig.
84:28 - At this point, I was standing in the Nordecke going "5 and a half minutes to go". Anyone else? Thought so...
88:35 - Wade Barret took a beautiful shot to the far upper 90, only to be bested by the play of the game, a TREMENDOUS save from William Hesmer. To put this play in perspective, Bill McDrmott felt the need to compare the save to a salmon leaping out of water, whatever the hell that means.
FIVE MINUTES OF STOPPAGE TIME?!?! I thought they did away with overtime...
90+ - Hesmer gets a yellow for taking too long, his 2nd of the year. I've never seen a keeper get one card for that, and he has two in the last two games.
- Frankie Hejduk gets a yellow for taking too long on the throw in. I hope no one ends up sitting a match because of time-wasting.
And the whistle finally blows, Crew win 1-0! Sigi Schmid gets his 100th of his career. The Crew are 3-0 at home! And, we're still top of the table!!!!
A few things to take away from this game:
- Hesmer was definitely Man of the Match. His heart and toughness saved this game for the Crew.
- Is Gino Padula going to be alright? Apparently, he feels he could have stayed on, but he is getting an MRI on Monday.
- The Crew have consistently faced better and better competition this season, and have risen to the task almost every week. I think the Dynamo were truly the best team we've played this season, despite their record.
- Can the Crew get back off their heels and start bringing the pressure and pace like they did in the first three games? Let's hope so, as they'll need another strong effort when they face KC this week.
What a game, what a night, and what a way to beat the defending champs!
Up next: Kansas City.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Smitty's Silly Match Preview: Game 5 - Houston
The Massive Columbus Crew return to defend the home turf after the utter dismantling of DC on the road. Houston are limping in with no wins through four games. Are they wounded or desperate?
Houston Dynamo
What You Need to Know:
Using nicknames like “D-Ro” makes you sound like a douchebag.
New Additions:
(in the Dynamo Corporate mailbox) A “thank-you” note from the Crew for giving us Alejandro Moreno last season…
Biggest Holes to Fill:
The void left by Columbus Reject Joseph Ngwenya.
Also, as one of the fattest cities in America, we’re guessing the Houston fans have to either fill that giant ham hole on their face quite often, or face a diabetic coma.
2008 Prediction:
Have you seen how the Rockets are doing in the NBA Playoffs? It’s kind of like that…
Match Preview here.
Game Prediction:
Alejandro Moreno runs his “games with goals”-streak to three, and Robbie Rogers again finds the net. Crew win with the familiar score 2-1.
Houston Dynamo
What You Need to Know:
Using nicknames like “D-Ro” makes you sound like a douchebag.
New Additions:
(in the Dynamo Corporate mailbox) A “thank-you” note from the Crew for giving us Alejandro Moreno last season…
Biggest Holes to Fill:
The void left by Columbus Reject Joseph Ngwenya.
Also, as one of the fattest cities in America, we’re guessing the Houston fans have to either fill that giant ham hole on their face quite often, or face a diabetic coma.
2008 Prediction:
Have you seen how the Rockets are doing in the NBA Playoffs? It’s kind of like that…
Match Preview here.
Game Prediction:
Alejandro Moreno runs his “games with goals”-streak to three, and Robbie Rogers again finds the net. Crew win with the familiar score 2-1.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
The Tipping Point
Watching that game on Thursday was more religious than anything the Pope could bring. And to describe the Crew's deserved and well-played 2-1 victory over D.C., Crew fans have had to resort to terms usually reserved for the masses. Hallelujah! Thank God! Holy S***! You get the idea. The win came ironically on the same day as the Pope made His Holiness' inaugural visit to the nation's capital. Ironic because this day will now hold holy significance for most prodigal Crew fans, as well as all the new converts the Crew no doubt gained by virtue of the game being on ESPN. To those who are new to the fold or returning after a long absence, we welcome you. Please, partake of the humble pie and apple juice, provided by St. Frankie.
But while watching the game at one of this Crew fan's Holiest of Holy places (Ruby Tuesday's on Summit), I had a revelation: This 2008 version of the Crew is a collection of badasses.
Let's face it: Frankie Hejduk may not be the type of guy who would cut your mother just to stop a goal, but he looks like he might. Danny O'Rourke will end his fair share of careers during the course of his. Gino Padula looks like a cross between Lemmy from Motorhead and The Jesus from Big Lebowski. And while Chad Marshall has the charming good looks and charisma you might expect from a Stanford grad, aren't those the type of people who end up as serial killers? Smiling, friendly, quiet, great neighbor, 20 heads in his freezer. You know what I mean? That's a scary back line.
Up front, you've got Adam Moffat, who's one Glidden paint spill away from looking like the reincarnation of William Wallace. And up front? Only two of the dirtiest, lying, cheating S.O.B's you'd ever want to meet: Alejandro Moreno and Guillermo Barros Schelotto. While many a Crew fan has a special place in their heart for these two, and rightly so, we have to take the "proud parent" lenses off for a second and realize that these guys would piss us off if they were on any other team. If you doubt the lying and cheating aspect, witness Alejandro Moreno's complete fabrication of the foul in the box against Chivas. He grabbed the defenders jersey, hooked onto him, and as the two were running together, Moreno fell over, in the box, and drew the foul. The Holy Father would have a whale of a confessional with Mr. Moreno.
And talk about breaking and entering? Guilermo fights and claws through defenders like Wolverine looking for Jean Grey or Jubilee (depending if you watched the movie or the cartoons). Also, I'm pretty sure a lot of hardline evangelicals think the Harry Potter books are evil because of witchcraft. Well, how else might one explain Guille's ability to work his way through three defenders, than to look at sources of the occult? When Guille does gets fouled, pray to God you're not a referee. Only the Almighty can save you from the constant bitch-fest Guille embarks on whenevrer he is grazed, let alone fouled. And this assessment isn't even taking into account the lack of sportsmanship (which is a sin, according to ESPN.com) Guille exhibits whenever the opposing team is trying to line up a free kick, or get the ball from him after a Crew foul was called. Were he on another team, he would be a bastard.
But, he's not. He's on this band of misfits and castaways, a group that is taking MLS by storm and looking like thugs while they do it. Of course this is not to say the Crew haven't looked good while doing it, as they have. Nor does it signify that they were the less talented team. They earned all nine points they got this year, but more in the sense that an art thief who properly plans his heist earns the piece he swipes from the museum. It's not that a thief doesn't work hard; quite to the contrary, he works hard to get what he wants by any means necessary. Well, doesn't that describe the guys on this Crew team? They're dirty, they're cheap, and they just might win it all.
From here on out, I'm proposing that the Crew start using The Roots' song "Don't Say Nothin" as their theme song. (If you've never heard it, it's posted below) The league isn't ready for the Crew, and if they aren't careful, the lyrics of this song will ring true.
My home team doin visitors in, don't test em/
They all standing close to the edge, so don't stress em/
Give it here, and don't say nothin/
Give it here, and don't say nothin/
DC, Chivas, Toronto, and 80 minutes against New York are a warning. MLS better watch out, because the Crew have a good chance to take the trophy. Don't say nothin'.
Amen.
But while watching the game at one of this Crew fan's Holiest of Holy places (Ruby Tuesday's on Summit), I had a revelation: This 2008 version of the Crew is a collection of badasses.
Let's face it: Frankie Hejduk may not be the type of guy who would cut your mother just to stop a goal, but he looks like he might. Danny O'Rourke will end his fair share of careers during the course of his. Gino Padula looks like a cross between Lemmy from Motorhead and The Jesus from Big Lebowski. And while Chad Marshall has the charming good looks and charisma you might expect from a Stanford grad, aren't those the type of people who end up as serial killers? Smiling, friendly, quiet, great neighbor, 20 heads in his freezer. You know what I mean? That's a scary back line.
Up front, you've got Adam Moffat, who's one Glidden paint spill away from looking like the reincarnation of William Wallace. And up front? Only two of the dirtiest, lying, cheating S.O.B's you'd ever want to meet: Alejandro Moreno and Guillermo Barros Schelotto. While many a Crew fan has a special place in their heart for these two, and rightly so, we have to take the "proud parent" lenses off for a second and realize that these guys would piss us off if they were on any other team. If you doubt the lying and cheating aspect, witness Alejandro Moreno's complete fabrication of the foul in the box against Chivas. He grabbed the defenders jersey, hooked onto him, and as the two were running together, Moreno fell over, in the box, and drew the foul. The Holy Father would have a whale of a confessional with Mr. Moreno.
And talk about breaking and entering? Guilermo fights and claws through defenders like Wolverine looking for Jean Grey or Jubilee (depending if you watched the movie or the cartoons). Also, I'm pretty sure a lot of hardline evangelicals think the Harry Potter books are evil because of witchcraft. Well, how else might one explain Guille's ability to work his way through three defenders, than to look at sources of the occult? When Guille does gets fouled, pray to God you're not a referee. Only the Almighty can save you from the constant bitch-fest Guille embarks on whenevrer he is grazed, let alone fouled. And this assessment isn't even taking into account the lack of sportsmanship (which is a sin, according to ESPN.com) Guille exhibits whenever the opposing team is trying to line up a free kick, or get the ball from him after a Crew foul was called. Were he on another team, he would be a bastard.
But, he's not. He's on this band of misfits and castaways, a group that is taking MLS by storm and looking like thugs while they do it. Of course this is not to say the Crew haven't looked good while doing it, as they have. Nor does it signify that they were the less talented team. They earned all nine points they got this year, but more in the sense that an art thief who properly plans his heist earns the piece he swipes from the museum. It's not that a thief doesn't work hard; quite to the contrary, he works hard to get what he wants by any means necessary. Well, doesn't that describe the guys on this Crew team? They're dirty, they're cheap, and they just might win it all.
From here on out, I'm proposing that the Crew start using The Roots' song "Don't Say Nothin" as their theme song. (If you've never heard it, it's posted below) The league isn't ready for the Crew, and if they aren't careful, the lyrics of this song will ring true.
My home team doin visitors in, don't test em/
They all standing close to the edge, so don't stress em/
Give it here, and don't say nothin/
Give it here, and don't say nothin/
DC, Chivas, Toronto, and 80 minutes against New York are a warning. MLS better watch out, because the Crew have a good chance to take the trophy. Don't say nothin'.
Amen.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Game 4: At DC United
The Crew have a short week after slamming 4 goals into the back of the Chivas net. Can they keep the offensive mojo working in our nation's capital?
DC UNI-TED SUCKS!
What You Need to Know:
They just lost 4-0 to Real Fuckin' Salt Lake.
New Additions:
Apparently, they just added a 4-0 loss to their record. To a team, let us remind you, whose name is "Royal Salt Lake."
Biggest Holes to Fill:
The new one they got ripped open by Real Salt Lake.
2008 Prediction:
DC will eventually regain their form, and start to play some decent soccer in the summer, only to barely miss the playoffs by three points...that they didn't pick up against Real Salt Lake!
Match preview here.
Game prediction: The Crew get points on the road, but just one. They tie 3-3 off goals from Robbie Rogers, Eddie Gaven, and Adam Moffat.
Why do I think Robbie will get another goal, even though DC will be marking him like a red-tagger at the after Christmas sale? Becasue of this tremendous quote I read from Stev Sirk's great notebook column on the Crew's website:
If Guillermo takes the kid under his wings, and Robbie continues to advance, watch out. The combination could be deadly.
Also, don't forget what happened the last time Mr. Rogers went to DC's Neighborhood:
Finally, for everyone heading out to the game tomorrow in DC, here's a nice little bit of advice for how to defend yourself in case of a dust up:
DC UNI-TED SUCKS!
What You Need to Know:
They just lost 4-0 to Real Fuckin' Salt Lake.
New Additions:
Apparently, they just added a 4-0 loss to their record. To a team, let us remind you, whose name is "Royal Salt Lake."
Biggest Holes to Fill:
The new one they got ripped open by Real Salt Lake.
2008 Prediction:
DC will eventually regain their form, and start to play some decent soccer in the summer, only to barely miss the playoffs by three points...that they didn't pick up against Real Salt Lake!
Match preview here.
Game prediction: The Crew get points on the road, but just one. They tie 3-3 off goals from Robbie Rogers, Eddie Gaven, and Adam Moffat.
Why do I think Robbie will get another goal, even though DC will be marking him like a red-tagger at the after Christmas sale? Becasue of this tremendous quote I read from Stev Sirk's great notebook column on the Crew's website:
"Guillermo talks to me a lot in practice and in games and tells me what he wants me to do," said Rogers. "He's got a lot of experience and I'm pretty young and like to run a lot, so I try to get into spaces where he can get me the ball."
If Guillermo takes the kid under his wings, and Robbie continues to advance, watch out. The combination could be deadly.
Also, don't forget what happened the last time Mr. Rogers went to DC's Neighborhood:
Finally, for everyone heading out to the game tomorrow in DC, here's a nice little bit of advice for how to defend yourself in case of a dust up:
Monday, April 14, 2008
Guillermo gets Player of the Week
But in my humble opinion, he wasn't even the MOTM. That still goes to Robbie Rogers. Still, good for Guille, and good for the Crew. Read the full story here.
Also, did anyone get their cookie yet?
Also, did anyone get their cookie yet?
Crew Fiction
Scene: After an absolute disaster of a season has left the Crew offices a bloody mess, Mark McCullers picks up his phone to call in some help from an old friend.
(A doorbell rings at the Crew training facilities in late March, about a week before the season begins. Coach Sigi Schmid answers to find a well-coifed man in his 50's standing on the doorstep. The man is Winston Wolf).
Winston Wolf - You're...Sigi, right, this is your team?
Sigi - Sure is.
WW - I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems.
Sigi - Good, we've got one.
WW - So I heard. May I come in?
Sigi - Uh, yeah please do.
(Entering the training grounds, Wolf notices two players standing next to each other)
WW (to the first player) - You must be Guillermo. (to the other player) Which would make you Frankie. Let's get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. If I was informed correctly, the clock is ticking. Is that right, Sigi?
Sigi - Uh, yes. 100%.
WW - The fans are tired of 3 years of missing the playoffs, and if there isn't marked improvement soon you might be out of a job, is that correct?
Sigi - Uh-huh.
WW - I was led to belive that if the Crew plays at home as poorly as they did last season, the fans wouldn't appreciate it none too much?
Sigi - They wouldn't, yeah.
WW - Alright. That gives us (looks at pocket Crew schedule) roughly 10 games to get the team on the right path, or else we're all gonna have to get the fuck outta dodge. Which, if you do what I say when I say it, should be plenty of time. Now, you've got some game films from last year? Lead me to 'em.
(All four proceed to the film room. Winston Wolf begins watching the game film. He sighs. The rest crowd around as he watches.)
WW - Sigi, Do me a favor will ya? Thought I smelled some coffee back there. Can you bring me a cup?
Sigi - Shouldn't I stay and watch the film with you so you can see my brilliant strategies from last year?
WW - That won't be necessary. Just bring me some coffee.
Sigi - OK. (pauses for a moment) How do you take it?
WW - Lotsa sugar. Lotsa cream.
Sigi - Got it. (exits)
WW (to the players) - About the team, anything I should know? Does it play as a unit? Does it possess the ball well? Defending? Anything I should know?
Frankie - Aside from how our record looked last year, the team is cool.
WW - Positive? Don't get me out there watching a real game and and find out the left back doesn't have a good work rate.
Frankie - Oh, right yeah. Rusty Pierce and Tim Ward are terrible. But other than that, the mothafucka's tip-top.
WW (shutting off the game film) - Good enough. Let's go back to the main office.
(WW, Guille and Frankie all head back into the office, where Sigi is pouring Wolfe a cup of joe. Sigi hands the cup to WW.)
Sigi - Here you go, Mr. Wolf.
WW - Thanks Sigi. (he takes a nice, long sip.) Hokay. First thing: (motions to Guille and Frankie) You two. Take the game film from last year, and flush it down the drain. (turns to Sigi) Now Sigi. This looks to be a fully funtional soccer facility, which would lead me to believe there are soccer balls, goals, practice jerseys, shit like that lying around?
Sigi - Yeah, yeah, yeah Mr. Wolf, they're under the Fair Play 2007 Award banner we won last year.
WW - Good. (turns back to the players). I need you two fellas to take one of those soccer balls and tell everyone on your team to share it. Tell them to learn how to shoot it at the goal, and not always look to pass it inside the 18 yard box. Shoot it with one touch if necessary. I'm talking fast, fast, fast. You need to go into the box and scoop up all the rebounds and crosses, and deposit them into the back of the net.
Frankie, you need to clean up the defense. Now, when it comes to defense it don't need to be spic and span. You don't need to win off it. Just give it a good once over. What you need to take care of are the really messy parts. You see the little groups of forwards that are gathering at the top of the 18 yard box? You gotta gobble that shit up.
(Turn back to Sigi) Sigi, we need to raid your cell phone contacts. I need forwards, I need a left back, a couple of veterans, some depth on the bench, anything you can find we need it. The tougher the better.
(now adressing all) We need to take points at home so our record will look better than it has. If a soccer journo really looks at the players we've signed in the offseason, he'll see we're not much better, and the subterfuge won't last. But at a glance, things will appear to be normal. Sigi, come with me. Boys get to work.
Guille - "Please" would be nice.
WW (Stops in his tracks, turns and looks at Guillermo) - Come again?
Guillermo - I said "A 'Please' would be nice."
WW - Get it straight buster. I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do. And if winning soccer games is an instinct you possess, you better fuckin' do it, and do it quick. I'm here to help. If my help's not appreciated? Lots of luck, gentlemen.
Frankie - No, no, no Mr. Wolf, it ain't like that, your help is definitely appreciated.
Guille - Mr. Wolf, listen. I don't mean no disprespect, OK, I respect you. I just don't like people barking orders at me, that's all.
WW - If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to score goals fast if you want to get into the playoffs this year. So...pretty please, with sugar on top, score some fuckin' goals.
END SCENE.
(Guille and Frankie put into practice all they were told to do by Mr. Wolf. After three weeks of the season, they ask him to inspect the work they've done.)
Are we past phase one (winning at home)? Maybe. But phase two is going to involve getting points on the road against Eastern Conference foes. And it starts Thursday night. Can the Crew be up to the task? Hopefully. But let's heed the Wolf's advice until we see some hardware.
(A doorbell rings at the Crew training facilities in late March, about a week before the season begins. Coach Sigi Schmid answers to find a well-coifed man in his 50's standing on the doorstep. The man is Winston Wolf).
Winston Wolf - You're...Sigi, right, this is your team?
Sigi - Sure is.
WW - I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems.
Sigi - Good, we've got one.
WW - So I heard. May I come in?
Sigi - Uh, yeah please do.
(Entering the training grounds, Wolf notices two players standing next to each other)
WW (to the first player) - You must be Guillermo. (to the other player) Which would make you Frankie. Let's get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. If I was informed correctly, the clock is ticking. Is that right, Sigi?
Sigi - Uh, yes. 100%.
WW - The fans are tired of 3 years of missing the playoffs, and if there isn't marked improvement soon you might be out of a job, is that correct?
Sigi - Uh-huh.
WW - I was led to belive that if the Crew plays at home as poorly as they did last season, the fans wouldn't appreciate it none too much?
Sigi - They wouldn't, yeah.
WW - Alright. That gives us (looks at pocket Crew schedule) roughly 10 games to get the team on the right path, or else we're all gonna have to get the fuck outta dodge. Which, if you do what I say when I say it, should be plenty of time. Now, you've got some game films from last year? Lead me to 'em.
(All four proceed to the film room. Winston Wolf begins watching the game film. He sighs. The rest crowd around as he watches.)
WW - Sigi, Do me a favor will ya? Thought I smelled some coffee back there. Can you bring me a cup?
Sigi - Shouldn't I stay and watch the film with you so you can see my brilliant strategies from last year?
WW - That won't be necessary. Just bring me some coffee.
Sigi - OK. (pauses for a moment) How do you take it?
WW - Lotsa sugar. Lotsa cream.
Sigi - Got it. (exits)
WW (to the players) - About the team, anything I should know? Does it play as a unit? Does it possess the ball well? Defending? Anything I should know?
Frankie - Aside from how our record looked last year, the team is cool.
WW - Positive? Don't get me out there watching a real game and and find out the left back doesn't have a good work rate.
Frankie - Oh, right yeah. Rusty Pierce and Tim Ward are terrible. But other than that, the mothafucka's tip-top.
WW (shutting off the game film) - Good enough. Let's go back to the main office.
(WW, Guille and Frankie all head back into the office, where Sigi is pouring Wolfe a cup of joe. Sigi hands the cup to WW.)
Sigi - Here you go, Mr. Wolf.
WW - Thanks Sigi. (he takes a nice, long sip.) Hokay. First thing: (motions to Guille and Frankie) You two. Take the game film from last year, and flush it down the drain. (turns to Sigi) Now Sigi. This looks to be a fully funtional soccer facility, which would lead me to believe there are soccer balls, goals, practice jerseys, shit like that lying around?
Sigi - Yeah, yeah, yeah Mr. Wolf, they're under the Fair Play 2007 Award banner we won last year.
WW - Good. (turns back to the players). I need you two fellas to take one of those soccer balls and tell everyone on your team to share it. Tell them to learn how to shoot it at the goal, and not always look to pass it inside the 18 yard box. Shoot it with one touch if necessary. I'm talking fast, fast, fast. You need to go into the box and scoop up all the rebounds and crosses, and deposit them into the back of the net.
Frankie, you need to clean up the defense. Now, when it comes to defense it don't need to be spic and span. You don't need to win off it. Just give it a good once over. What you need to take care of are the really messy parts. You see the little groups of forwards that are gathering at the top of the 18 yard box? You gotta gobble that shit up.
(Turn back to Sigi) Sigi, we need to raid your cell phone contacts. I need forwards, I need a left back, a couple of veterans, some depth on the bench, anything you can find we need it. The tougher the better.
(now adressing all) We need to take points at home so our record will look better than it has. If a soccer journo really looks at the players we've signed in the offseason, he'll see we're not much better, and the subterfuge won't last. But at a glance, things will appear to be normal. Sigi, come with me. Boys get to work.
Guille - "Please" would be nice.
WW (Stops in his tracks, turns and looks at Guillermo) - Come again?
Guillermo - I said "A 'Please' would be nice."
WW - Get it straight buster. I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do. And if winning soccer games is an instinct you possess, you better fuckin' do it, and do it quick. I'm here to help. If my help's not appreciated? Lots of luck, gentlemen.
Frankie - No, no, no Mr. Wolf, it ain't like that, your help is definitely appreciated.
Guille - Mr. Wolf, listen. I don't mean no disprespect, OK, I respect you. I just don't like people barking orders at me, that's all.
WW - If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to score goals fast if you want to get into the playoffs this year. So...pretty please, with sugar on top, score some fuckin' goals.
END SCENE.
(Guille and Frankie put into practice all they were told to do by Mr. Wolf. After three weeks of the season, they ask him to inspect the work they've done.)
Are we past phase one (winning at home)? Maybe. But phase two is going to involve getting points on the road against Eastern Conference foes. And it starts Thursday night. Can the Crew be up to the task? Hopefully. But let's heed the Wolf's advice until we see some hardware.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Morning Afterthoughts: Game 3 - Chivas USA
It was a night that was filled with ejections (on the field and in the stands), power outages, and goals galore. Quite simply, it was a fantastic time in the Nordecke. In the end, it left non-Crew-yet-MLS fans sounding like Buster Bluth talking to Lucille Austero: "Did you always have all those...points?"
And as I am wont to do, I am rewatching the game and keeping a running diary of my thoughts. Here we go...
Pregame
- Welcome to Crew Stadium! I get to watch the Chivas USA home video feed, which features Christian Miles and former Crew and Chivas player Brian Dunseth on the call. And since they really had nothing of interest to say, I'll point out that Dunny appeared to have a half-windsor knot in his tie, while Miles is rocking the four-in-hand.
- Oh, this is tremendous. Apparently, I paid $19.95 to not only get to watch the opposing team's game-feed, but I also get to watch all the commercials from the boradcast. Seriously, MLS, since we had to wait until 5pm on Sunday afternoon to get this game posted online, couldn't someone have edited out the commercials? Is that so much to ask?
First Half
:35 - I almost forgot until the announcers said it. The head official for last night was Ricardo Salazaar, who has been brutal to the Crew in the past. I thought he caled a fair game last night though. Of course, he did send two Chivas players to the showers early, so maybe that influenced my opinion...
3:04 - Alejandro Moreno gets free, but Guzan just beats him to the ball. Also, apparently Christian Miles is one of those white guy announcers that tries to sound ethnic when pronouncing foreign names. So, instead of saying it like most non-Spanish speakers ("owl-lay-HON-dro more-AY-no"), Miles insists on calling him "ahl-eh-HAAAN-dro moth-HREE-NO". No, seriously, I'm enjoying these Chivas announcers so far.
4:10 - There was a graphic onscreen that said this: "Windchill - 37 degrees". Christian Miles then interpreted that graphic by saying "the windchill is negative 37 degrees, and it certainly feels that way here in the booth." Attention Max Breto, it is now official: Christian Miles will supplant you as the most annoying announcer in MLS before the end of the season. Better watch your ass, Max. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ!!!!!
5:12 - ADAM Moffat. Not Andy. Thanks again, Christian.
6:09 - Guillermo forces Brad Guzan to make his first save of the game. Couldn't tell if that was a cross that turned into a shot, but it almost fooled Guzan either way.
6:42 - And as Will Hesmer picks up a harmless long ball, we see the first smoke flare that landed on the field. I know the Front Office has their liability issues, and they don't want to see the flares, but it looks great on TV.
7:35 - I can clearly hear the Nordecke doing the "COL-UM-BUS CREW AH OOH" chant. Very nice.
11:08 - And Robbie Rogers has his first shot of the night, off a poor pass from Chivas' Atiba Harris. Have I mentioned that he's leading the league in shots? That's something that was missing last year. Shoot first mentality? I like it.
11:39 - WHOAAAA! The first big mistake by the Crew defense almost gives Chivas a 1-0 lead. Gino Padula heads the ball back to Will Hesmer, but Atiba Harris continues his run, past the sleeping Chad Marshall, and Harris nearly puts it in. Fortunately, Hesmer makes a great save to knock it out wide.
Let's hope we can chalk that goof up to the new back line getting to know each other. But really, it was a poorly played ball by Gino and equally poor marking by Chad. Let's hope they get that figured out.
12:09 - Francisco Mendoza gets a yellow for chipping at Guillermo's ankles in the Crew's defensive third. Brian Dunseth thinks this is a smart play. I'm sure there will be nothing that happens in the 80-minute range to make him change his mind.
15:10 - Gino Padula commits a foul just near the sideline, which brings out a bath of streamers for Sacha Kljestan. By the way, I bought about 25 of those, and my brother bought around 40. They're 57 cents at Walmart, and we've got two weeks until Houston. Stock up, because it looks fantastic on TV.
15:45 - Jim Curtain looks like an ugly Alexi Lalas, minus the gotee. And that's saying something.
16:25 - Did we ever hear an official reason as to what caused the lights to go out over the Nordecke? I'm guessing that Scott DeBolt was trying to send a message about the smoke bombs. Either that, or the Crew was trying to save some money they didn't make at the gate yesterday.
17:40 - Just noticed that on the back of the Chivas jersey collars, they have "chivas.com" printed on it. I don't know, maybe I'm seeing things, because that's the website for Chivas Regal Whiskey.
23:56 - Padula makes a great play in the midfield, and pokes it ahead to Schelotto, who hits Rogers down the line, who crosses to Moreno, who draws the foul, in the box for the PK. Great little bit of teamwork there by the Crew. Even a Eurosnob would have to admit that was nice.
25:07 - GOOOOOAAAAAAL! Guillermo absolutely buries the PK, and Guzan has no shot. I bet Guille's foot has the Adidas logo blistered onto it this morning from the way he ripped that shot. 1-0 Crew.
28:35 - Again, over the announcer, the sound of the Nordecke is loud and clear.
32:28 - Sacha Kljestan ties it up at 1 apiece. It's sad, because this goal happened right as you could again hear the Nordecke screaming "Ole ole ole" over the announcers. Also, Christian Miles called it a "wonder goal." Is that like the Wonderlic test that NFL players have to take before the draft? It was a nice goal, why not just say, "nice goal."
Also, in my opinion, that last post was a "wonder post."
35:57 - GOOOOOAAAAAAL!! Guille takes his time in the box, and finds Alejandro Moreno doing what he does best: running to the goal. Guzan is fooled by the wily Argentine, and the Crew are sitting on a 2-1 lead.
39:36 - And for the first time tonight, Miles actually refers to our Scottish midfielder as "Adam" Moffat, and not Andy, which he had done 3 times previous. Moffat ripped a shot from the top of the box, which seems to be his range. He's not afraid to shoot either.
42:24 - Now this is impressive: I can actually hear the "dick" part of the "CHIVAS SUCKS (dick)" chant. Either we were really loud, or the microphones last night were cranked a little higher. I think we were just louder.
43:15 - Great job by Gino Padula to disposses Atiba Harris, and then to find Robbie in space on his first touch once the ball was free. I like the awareness Gino brings to the table. And his hair makes him look like a metal head, which ain't bad.
And the first hald comes to a close.
Second Half
47:05 - Tremndous offensive movement by the Crew. Guille lays it off for Robbie Rogers, who makes his run deep down the left flank. He hits a beautiful cross that Eddie Gaven heads to Guille, who has circled back to the top of the box. Guille lays out to make the header, and it's saved by Guzan. Very nice.
47:34 - Again, the supporters are clearly heard doing the Columbus Crew chant.
53:23 - Robbie Rogers cost Brian Carrol another assist, as he one times it 5 yards in front of Guzan, but hammers it right into the Comex logo on the Chivas keeper's jersey. It's amazing that he could have easily had 3-4 goals last night.
62:33 - Andy Moffat...err..Adam Moffat with another wicked shot that almost knuckled past Brad Guzan. Moffat's shot traveled nearly 30 yards and never came more than a foot off the ground. Wow. It took an instinctual save by Guzan to keep that one out.
66:32 - OK, now I've clearly heard the "OOOOOH, YOU SUCK ASSHOLE" chant when Guzan takes his goal kick. It's only going to get louder boys and girls. Bring your screaming voices on the 26th.
70:31 - Wow, didn't notice this from the stands. Robbie Rogers tracks down an errant pass, and back heels it in just before it heads out of bounds. He then runs face first into the bench cover apparatus they put over where the players sit on the sidelines. That shows some heart and toughness, as he jogs right back out on the field.
70:43 - ...and that's why it pays to keep running. Schelotto sends a perfect pass that is badly judged by the Chivas right back, Eric Ebert. Robbie carries it into the box, and buries it past Guzan. GOOOOOOAAAAAAL!!! 3-1 Crew.
71:57 - But just like that Jesse Marsch gets one back for the Goats. Tough to say who fell asleep back there, but it looks like it might have been Chad Marshall? Danny O'Rourke was clearly marking a man, though he was pretty far forward. Just a bad, bad defensive breakdown.
73:41 - Eddie Gaven takes a nice rip from 20 yards out, but it is again right into the midsection of Brad Guzan. Sigi and Bobby are working on getting the boys to aim at parts of the goal OTHER than where the keeper is standing, right?
74:40 - Gino Padula gets a yellow in his first game for time-wasting while waiting for the free kick. Interesting the way Padula and Schelotto are taking the free kicks. Padula dummied a few earlier in the game as well.
75:56 - Again, you can clearly hear the Columbus Crew chant from the Nordecke. If we could get all the chants to be that loud, we'd be in good shape.
76:59 - A nice pass from Padula to Robbie Rogers, who flicks it on to Guillermo in the box, but the Chivas defender gets there just a second before Guille can rock Guzan's world. Also, Christian Miles called the flick "cheeky." Padula did a good job of getting back quickly there as well to stop the counter. Again, I like him.
77:56 - Sacha Kljestan takes the ball across the top of the 18, turns, and finds Paulo Nagamura sitting at the top of the 18. He rips one past Will Hesmer, and we're tied at 3 apiece.
I can't understand how Hesmer didn't get to that ball, but what was more frustrating was how lax the Crew defenders were when it came to closing Nagamura down. That's was just lazy play by the Crew. Both of the Chivas goals in the 2nd half were a result of lazy, 3-1 lead defending.
81:20 - Danny O'Rourke hits Robbie Rogers from 60 yards away, Rogers brings it to his feet and slams it right at Brad Guzan...WHO LETS IT SLIP THROUGH HIS HANDS!!! GOOOOOAAAAAAL!!!! 4-3 Crew!
I know some will say this goals was soft, but when you realize how many times Robbie put shots on frame, he's been terribly unlucky so far this season. But as they say, it all evens out. Robbie nails what ended up being the game winner.
82:26 - Francisco Mendoza takes out his frustrations on Eddie Gaven's ankle. That draws his second yellow, and the auto red. Goodbye! Don't let the door hit ya' where the Good Lord split ya'!
83:28 - Not one minute later (ok, barely a mimute later), Sacha Kljestan takes down Guillermo Barros Schelotto. Guille gives an Oscar worthy performance, and referee Ricard Salazaar decides he's seen enough chippy play from the Rojas y Blancos. Kljestan gets the straight red, and Maykel Gallindo and Paulo Nagamura look as though they're going to rip Salazaar's head off.
That's right boys, keep arguing when you're only down one with 9 minutes to go. Thaaaaat's it. Keep the clock rolling as you argue away valuable minutes. Thanks very much!
84:25 - This was a fantastic moment, as Guille (clearly not injured) gets up, and Maykel Gallindo comes up to him as if to say, "See! I knew it! You're not really hurt!!!" Guille just looks at him, and with his Ricky Ricardo voice, probably said something like "It's all part of the show..." By the way, I like imagining Guille with a Ricky Ricardo voice. It makes his arguments even more entertaining.
85:14 - Even Dunny thinks the red card was justified. Eat that Chivas fans (all 4 of you)!
By the way, another thing that "Grinds My Gears": There should be a rule that if you show up to a Chivas USA game while wearing the jersey with the "Bimbo" logo on it, you immediately get deported. Seriously, do these people even know it's not the real Chivas team? Seeing as how they can't fill the stands at the HDC, I highly doubt all that support I saw at CCS was from L.A. area fans who follow the USA side.
86:32 - The broadcast team makes the excellent point that now the already depleted Chivas team will be without Kljestan and Mendoza next week, along with Ante Razov, Raphael Wicky, and even Alecko Eskandarian, who is having the final stage of his 3 part sex-change operation.
Next week, in case you're wondering, F.C. Dallas will be benefitting from the Columbus-drawn bookings. I'd say the score will be 3-0.
Stoppage time - Jim Curtain gets his pants pulled down by Schelotto, as Curtain tries to clear the ball in his defensive half, Guille steals it and makes a run into the box. Cue the Nelson laugh from the Simpsons.
GAME! Crew win 4-3!!!!
Final thoughts: Padula seems to have brought some life to the right side (finally), though defensively, the team as a whole gets a C. Have to do better. The offense looked good against a Chivas team that was without their best defender (Claudio Suarez) and their best forward (Razov). We'll see what this means for the Crew, as they have a scant 4 days to prepare for DC United.
Still, a great win for the Crew! Now, we move on to Scum week. Make sure you try to watch with fans somewhere, either ar Ruby Tuesday on Summit or at Tommy Keegans in the Brewery District downtown. The game is, of course, on Thursday night in prime time on ESPN 2.
Let's Go Crew!!!
And as I am wont to do, I am rewatching the game and keeping a running diary of my thoughts. Here we go...
Pregame
- Welcome to Crew Stadium! I get to watch the Chivas USA home video feed, which features Christian Miles and former Crew and Chivas player Brian Dunseth on the call. And since they really had nothing of interest to say, I'll point out that Dunny appeared to have a half-windsor knot in his tie, while Miles is rocking the four-in-hand.
- Oh, this is tremendous. Apparently, I paid $19.95 to not only get to watch the opposing team's game-feed, but I also get to watch all the commercials from the boradcast. Seriously, MLS, since we had to wait until 5pm on Sunday afternoon to get this game posted online, couldn't someone have edited out the commercials? Is that so much to ask?
First Half
:35 - I almost forgot until the announcers said it. The head official for last night was Ricardo Salazaar, who has been brutal to the Crew in the past. I thought he caled a fair game last night though. Of course, he did send two Chivas players to the showers early, so maybe that influenced my opinion...
3:04 - Alejandro Moreno gets free, but Guzan just beats him to the ball. Also, apparently Christian Miles is one of those white guy announcers that tries to sound ethnic when pronouncing foreign names. So, instead of saying it like most non-Spanish speakers ("owl-lay-HON-dro more-AY-no"), Miles insists on calling him "ahl-eh-HAAAN-dro moth-HREE-NO". No, seriously, I'm enjoying these Chivas announcers so far.
4:10 - There was a graphic onscreen that said this: "Windchill - 37 degrees". Christian Miles then interpreted that graphic by saying "the windchill is negative 37 degrees, and it certainly feels that way here in the booth." Attention Max Breto, it is now official: Christian Miles will supplant you as the most annoying announcer in MLS before the end of the season. Better watch your ass, Max. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ!!!!!
5:12 - ADAM Moffat. Not Andy. Thanks again, Christian.
6:09 - Guillermo forces Brad Guzan to make his first save of the game. Couldn't tell if that was a cross that turned into a shot, but it almost fooled Guzan either way.
6:42 - And as Will Hesmer picks up a harmless long ball, we see the first smoke flare that landed on the field. I know the Front Office has their liability issues, and they don't want to see the flares, but it looks great on TV.
7:35 - I can clearly hear the Nordecke doing the "COL-UM-BUS CREW AH OOH" chant. Very nice.
11:08 - And Robbie Rogers has his first shot of the night, off a poor pass from Chivas' Atiba Harris. Have I mentioned that he's leading the league in shots? That's something that was missing last year. Shoot first mentality? I like it.
11:39 - WHOAAAA! The first big mistake by the Crew defense almost gives Chivas a 1-0 lead. Gino Padula heads the ball back to Will Hesmer, but Atiba Harris continues his run, past the sleeping Chad Marshall, and Harris nearly puts it in. Fortunately, Hesmer makes a great save to knock it out wide.
Let's hope we can chalk that goof up to the new back line getting to know each other. But really, it was a poorly played ball by Gino and equally poor marking by Chad. Let's hope they get that figured out.
12:09 - Francisco Mendoza gets a yellow for chipping at Guillermo's ankles in the Crew's defensive third. Brian Dunseth thinks this is a smart play. I'm sure there will be nothing that happens in the 80-minute range to make him change his mind.
15:10 - Gino Padula commits a foul just near the sideline, which brings out a bath of streamers for Sacha Kljestan. By the way, I bought about 25 of those, and my brother bought around 40. They're 57 cents at Walmart, and we've got two weeks until Houston. Stock up, because it looks fantastic on TV.
15:45 - Jim Curtain looks like an ugly Alexi Lalas, minus the gotee. And that's saying something.
16:25 - Did we ever hear an official reason as to what caused the lights to go out over the Nordecke? I'm guessing that Scott DeBolt was trying to send a message about the smoke bombs. Either that, or the Crew was trying to save some money they didn't make at the gate yesterday.
17:40 - Just noticed that on the back of the Chivas jersey collars, they have "chivas.com" printed on it. I don't know, maybe I'm seeing things, because that's the website for Chivas Regal Whiskey.
23:56 - Padula makes a great play in the midfield, and pokes it ahead to Schelotto, who hits Rogers down the line, who crosses to Moreno, who draws the foul, in the box for the PK. Great little bit of teamwork there by the Crew. Even a Eurosnob would have to admit that was nice.
25:07 - GOOOOOAAAAAAL! Guillermo absolutely buries the PK, and Guzan has no shot. I bet Guille's foot has the Adidas logo blistered onto it this morning from the way he ripped that shot. 1-0 Crew.
28:35 - Again, over the announcer, the sound of the Nordecke is loud and clear.
32:28 - Sacha Kljestan ties it up at 1 apiece. It's sad, because this goal happened right as you could again hear the Nordecke screaming "Ole ole ole" over the announcers. Also, Christian Miles called it a "wonder goal." Is that like the Wonderlic test that NFL players have to take before the draft? It was a nice goal, why not just say, "nice goal."
Also, in my opinion, that last post was a "wonder post."
35:57 - GOOOOOAAAAAAL!! Guille takes his time in the box, and finds Alejandro Moreno doing what he does best: running to the goal. Guzan is fooled by the wily Argentine, and the Crew are sitting on a 2-1 lead.
39:36 - And for the first time tonight, Miles actually refers to our Scottish midfielder as "Adam" Moffat, and not Andy, which he had done 3 times previous. Moffat ripped a shot from the top of the box, which seems to be his range. He's not afraid to shoot either.
42:24 - Now this is impressive: I can actually hear the "dick" part of the "CHIVAS SUCKS (dick)" chant. Either we were really loud, or the microphones last night were cranked a little higher. I think we were just louder.
43:15 - Great job by Gino Padula to disposses Atiba Harris, and then to find Robbie in space on his first touch once the ball was free. I like the awareness Gino brings to the table. And his hair makes him look like a metal head, which ain't bad.
And the first hald comes to a close.
Second Half
47:05 - Tremndous offensive movement by the Crew. Guille lays it off for Robbie Rogers, who makes his run deep down the left flank. He hits a beautiful cross that Eddie Gaven heads to Guille, who has circled back to the top of the box. Guille lays out to make the header, and it's saved by Guzan. Very nice.
47:34 - Again, the supporters are clearly heard doing the Columbus Crew chant.
53:23 - Robbie Rogers cost Brian Carrol another assist, as he one times it 5 yards in front of Guzan, but hammers it right into the Comex logo on the Chivas keeper's jersey. It's amazing that he could have easily had 3-4 goals last night.
62:33 - Andy Moffat...err..Adam Moffat with another wicked shot that almost knuckled past Brad Guzan. Moffat's shot traveled nearly 30 yards and never came more than a foot off the ground. Wow. It took an instinctual save by Guzan to keep that one out.
66:32 - OK, now I've clearly heard the "OOOOOH, YOU SUCK ASSHOLE" chant when Guzan takes his goal kick. It's only going to get louder boys and girls. Bring your screaming voices on the 26th.
70:31 - Wow, didn't notice this from the stands. Robbie Rogers tracks down an errant pass, and back heels it in just before it heads out of bounds. He then runs face first into the bench cover apparatus they put over where the players sit on the sidelines. That shows some heart and toughness, as he jogs right back out on the field.
70:43 - ...and that's why it pays to keep running. Schelotto sends a perfect pass that is badly judged by the Chivas right back, Eric Ebert. Robbie carries it into the box, and buries it past Guzan. GOOOOOOAAAAAAL!!! 3-1 Crew.
71:57 - But just like that Jesse Marsch gets one back for the Goats. Tough to say who fell asleep back there, but it looks like it might have been Chad Marshall? Danny O'Rourke was clearly marking a man, though he was pretty far forward. Just a bad, bad defensive breakdown.
73:41 - Eddie Gaven takes a nice rip from 20 yards out, but it is again right into the midsection of Brad Guzan. Sigi and Bobby are working on getting the boys to aim at parts of the goal OTHER than where the keeper is standing, right?
74:40 - Gino Padula gets a yellow in his first game for time-wasting while waiting for the free kick. Interesting the way Padula and Schelotto are taking the free kicks. Padula dummied a few earlier in the game as well.
75:56 - Again, you can clearly hear the Columbus Crew chant from the Nordecke. If we could get all the chants to be that loud, we'd be in good shape.
76:59 - A nice pass from Padula to Robbie Rogers, who flicks it on to Guillermo in the box, but the Chivas defender gets there just a second before Guille can rock Guzan's world. Also, Christian Miles called the flick "cheeky." Padula did a good job of getting back quickly there as well to stop the counter. Again, I like him.
77:56 - Sacha Kljestan takes the ball across the top of the 18, turns, and finds Paulo Nagamura sitting at the top of the 18. He rips one past Will Hesmer, and we're tied at 3 apiece.
I can't understand how Hesmer didn't get to that ball, but what was more frustrating was how lax the Crew defenders were when it came to closing Nagamura down. That's was just lazy play by the Crew. Both of the Chivas goals in the 2nd half were a result of lazy, 3-1 lead defending.
81:20 - Danny O'Rourke hits Robbie Rogers from 60 yards away, Rogers brings it to his feet and slams it right at Brad Guzan...WHO LETS IT SLIP THROUGH HIS HANDS!!! GOOOOOAAAAAAL!!!! 4-3 Crew!
I know some will say this goals was soft, but when you realize how many times Robbie put shots on frame, he's been terribly unlucky so far this season. But as they say, it all evens out. Robbie nails what ended up being the game winner.
82:26 - Francisco Mendoza takes out his frustrations on Eddie Gaven's ankle. That draws his second yellow, and the auto red. Goodbye! Don't let the door hit ya' where the Good Lord split ya'!
83:28 - Not one minute later (ok, barely a mimute later), Sacha Kljestan takes down Guillermo Barros Schelotto. Guille gives an Oscar worthy performance, and referee Ricard Salazaar decides he's seen enough chippy play from the Rojas y Blancos. Kljestan gets the straight red, and Maykel Gallindo and Paulo Nagamura look as though they're going to rip Salazaar's head off.
That's right boys, keep arguing when you're only down one with 9 minutes to go. Thaaaaat's it. Keep the clock rolling as you argue away valuable minutes. Thanks very much!
84:25 - This was a fantastic moment, as Guille (clearly not injured) gets up, and Maykel Gallindo comes up to him as if to say, "See! I knew it! You're not really hurt!!!" Guille just looks at him, and with his Ricky Ricardo voice, probably said something like "It's all part of the show..." By the way, I like imagining Guille with a Ricky Ricardo voice. It makes his arguments even more entertaining.
85:14 - Even Dunny thinks the red card was justified. Eat that Chivas fans (all 4 of you)!
By the way, another thing that "Grinds My Gears": There should be a rule that if you show up to a Chivas USA game while wearing the jersey with the "Bimbo" logo on it, you immediately get deported. Seriously, do these people even know it's not the real Chivas team? Seeing as how they can't fill the stands at the HDC, I highly doubt all that support I saw at CCS was from L.A. area fans who follow the USA side.
86:32 - The broadcast team makes the excellent point that now the already depleted Chivas team will be without Kljestan and Mendoza next week, along with Ante Razov, Raphael Wicky, and even Alecko Eskandarian, who is having the final stage of his 3 part sex-change operation.
Next week, in case you're wondering, F.C. Dallas will be benefitting from the Columbus-drawn bookings. I'd say the score will be 3-0.
Stoppage time - Jim Curtain gets his pants pulled down by Schelotto, as Curtain tries to clear the ball in his defensive half, Guille steals it and makes a run into the box. Cue the Nelson laugh from the Simpsons.
GAME! Crew win 4-3!!!!
Final thoughts: Padula seems to have brought some life to the right side (finally), though defensively, the team as a whole gets a C. Have to do better. The offense looked good against a Chivas team that was without their best defender (Claudio Suarez) and their best forward (Razov). We'll see what this means for the Crew, as they have a scant 4 days to prepare for DC United.
Still, a great win for the Crew! Now, we move on to Scum week. Make sure you try to watch with fans somewhere, either ar Ruby Tuesday on Summit or at Tommy Keegans in the Brewery District downtown. The game is, of course, on Thursday night in prime time on ESPN 2.
Let's Go Crew!!!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
We Got Us a Damn Cookie!
And it's about time, I was getting hungry.
In all seriousness, congratulations to the Crew! They put up a fourskie on the Crew Stadium board and made it stick, holding off a thuggish Chivas USA team 4-3 on a cold and rainy night in Columbus. And to top it all off, the Crew scored the winner smack in the middle of the Wild Bean Shootout, meaning we can all go get a free cookie at BP gas stations all across central Ohio. Oh, when will the splendid, boundless joys of corporate America's pointless promotions ever cease to rain upon my head?
And for the first time in a while, it's really a toss up as to who the man of the match actually was. Below we make the case for both.
Man of the Match
Robbie Rogers
Case for: He scored two goals, including the game-winner. He created the opportunity that Alejandro Moreno turned into a PK that Guillermo Barros Schelotto turned into a goal. Also, Robbie came into the game leading the league in shots with 9. To put that in perspective, he was tied with Luciano Emilio, Claudio Lopez, and Adam Cristman. Though 6 more shots tonight, I'll be guessing he stays at or near the top of that category. While some might rightly say his goal against Guzman was soft, you can't say he hasn't put in the work to have two goals after three games.
Guillermo Barros Schelotto
Case for: The Argentinian magician continued to mesmerize with beautiful passing that led to the 2nd and 3rd goals for the Crew. Also, note to Collin Samuel (who was released by T.F.C. this week) and Juan Pablo Angel: when you want to learn how a professional takes a PK, watch GBS. Finally, Guillermo was directly responsible for pulling the red card out of referee Ricardo Salazar's pocket that sent Sasha Kljestan to the showers. It was a rough foul to say the least, but GBS was pitch perfect in his portrayal of the injured soccer player who might be on the shelf for 4-6 weeks. I was even fooled, and the foul happened 20 feet in front of me. After the red came out, Guillermo took another sip from wherever he keeps his flask of "Fountain of Youth, vintage '74", and was back on the field in minutes. Brilliance to be sure.
Despite Guillermo's skill and toughness, Robbie Rogers gets the MOTM. Last year, Guillermo brought us exactly what he did in this game: Great set pieces, dangerous passing, and the ability to frustrate and card the opposing team. But Robbie Rogers realized the potential the Crew never seemed to grasp last season: Finishing. Without Robbie's two goals, the Crew lose 3-2 in gut-wrenching fashion to a depleted team at home. Instead, they get a bounce-back win against one of the best teams in the West.
On top of that, Robbie got us a cookie. And isn't that what it's really all about?
In all seriousness, congratulations to the Crew! They put up a fourskie on the Crew Stadium board and made it stick, holding off a thuggish Chivas USA team 4-3 on a cold and rainy night in Columbus. And to top it all off, the Crew scored the winner smack in the middle of the Wild Bean Shootout, meaning we can all go get a free cookie at BP gas stations all across central Ohio. Oh, when will the splendid, boundless joys of corporate America's pointless promotions ever cease to rain upon my head?
And for the first time in a while, it's really a toss up as to who the man of the match actually was. Below we make the case for both.
Man of the Match
Robbie Rogers
Case for: He scored two goals, including the game-winner. He created the opportunity that Alejandro Moreno turned into a PK that Guillermo Barros Schelotto turned into a goal. Also, Robbie came into the game leading the league in shots with 9. To put that in perspective, he was tied with Luciano Emilio, Claudio Lopez, and Adam Cristman. Though 6 more shots tonight, I'll be guessing he stays at or near the top of that category. While some might rightly say his goal against Guzman was soft, you can't say he hasn't put in the work to have two goals after three games.
Guillermo Barros Schelotto
Case for: The Argentinian magician continued to mesmerize with beautiful passing that led to the 2nd and 3rd goals for the Crew. Also, note to Collin Samuel (who was released by T.F.C. this week) and Juan Pablo Angel: when you want to learn how a professional takes a PK, watch GBS. Finally, Guillermo was directly responsible for pulling the red card out of referee Ricardo Salazar's pocket that sent Sasha Kljestan to the showers. It was a rough foul to say the least, but GBS was pitch perfect in his portrayal of the injured soccer player who might be on the shelf for 4-6 weeks. I was even fooled, and the foul happened 20 feet in front of me. After the red came out, Guillermo took another sip from wherever he keeps his flask of "Fountain of Youth, vintage '74", and was back on the field in minutes. Brilliance to be sure.
Despite Guillermo's skill and toughness, Robbie Rogers gets the MOTM. Last year, Guillermo brought us exactly what he did in this game: Great set pieces, dangerous passing, and the ability to frustrate and card the opposing team. But Robbie Rogers realized the potential the Crew never seemed to grasp last season: Finishing. Without Robbie's two goals, the Crew lose 3-2 in gut-wrenching fashion to a depleted team at home. Instead, they get a bounce-back win against one of the best teams in the West.
On top of that, Robbie got us a cookie. And isn't that what it's really all about?
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Game 3: Chivas USA
The Crew have suffered their first loss of the season, to go with their first and only win. Is this the week for their first tie?
Chivas USA
What You Need to Know:
Their nickname is "The Goats". Also, they'll mow your lawn for cheap.
New Additions:
About 19 members of their extended family.
Biggest Holes to Fill:
Mulchbeds across the nation.
2008 Prediction:
While there is some disagreement about whether or not Chivas entered MLS legally, the fact is they are here, and now we have to figure out what to do with them.
Chivas match preview here.
Game Prediction: Despite their impressive start, Chivas will have a tough time gaining three points with the Nordecke in full swing. Problem is, so will the Crew. 1-1 draw with Eddie Gaven knocking in a rebound for the Crew.
Finally, if you want to see new Chivas forward Alecko Eskandarian playing miniature golf, watch Part 2 of "A Day in the Life of Alecko Eskandarian", filmed when he played for the the Scum:
Honestly, I expected this to be a video of him falling down whenever someone walked past him, then running up behind them and kicking their knees in 5 minutes later. Maybe that's Part 1...
Chivas USA
What You Need to Know:
Their nickname is "The Goats". Also, they'll mow your lawn for cheap.
New Additions:
About 19 members of their extended family.
Biggest Holes to Fill:
Mulchbeds across the nation.
2008 Prediction:
While there is some disagreement about whether or not Chivas entered MLS legally, the fact is they are here, and now we have to figure out what to do with them.
Chivas match preview here.
Game Prediction: Despite their impressive start, Chivas will have a tough time gaining three points with the Nordecke in full swing. Problem is, so will the Crew. 1-1 draw with Eddie Gaven knocking in a rebound for the Crew.
Finally, if you want to see new Chivas forward Alecko Eskandarian playing miniature golf, watch Part 2 of "A Day in the Life of Alecko Eskandarian", filmed when he played for the the Scum:
Honestly, I expected this to be a video of him falling down whenever someone walked past him, then running up behind them and kicking their knees in 5 minutes later. Maybe that's Part 1...
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Pouvez-vous m'entendre maintenant ?
Among the many things Crew fans worry about in their day to day lives, one hopes that Sigi Schmid's cell phone contents ranks very low on the list. I doubt many people are currently wondering what ringer the man has, or who are in his "Five."
Almost unbelievably, I happen to know both of those answers:
Ringer
Tokio Hotel - Monsoon
Sigi's Five
1. Mark McCullers
2. Valerie Schmid
3. Bobby Warzycha
4. Thierry Henry
5. Alexi Lalas (for prank call purposes only)
Perhaps some of you balked at number four on the list in Sigi's Five. Perhaps some of you are also wondering how I learned such privileged information. (Let's just say I am not above looking at some one's cell phone while it's lying on the bar.) But regardless of how I know what I know, or if you even cared prior to this moment, Crew Nation now has a reason to be interested in Sigmund's mobile. Don't believe me? Check out this piece of info gleaned from the excellent Crew blog Shawn Mitchell writes for The Dispatch.
“I don’t think you’re going to get Thierry Henry to come to Columbus because it’s too far for him to go to watch LeBron play,” Schmid joked. “I was going to call him and tell him that the NBA team is leaving Seattle. He might not be aware of that, at least until he sees Tony Parker.”
So, let me get this straight, Sigs: You have the phone number to one of the most famous soccer players in the known world? What, are you guys chummy? Do you call each other after Henry's scored for Barcelona, while your forwards can't even manage two SHOTS on goal, and laugh about the good old days, when he didn't come to UCLA, and you weren't coaching in the English Premier League? Were you text messaging wildly the first time you saw him on the Gillette Fusion commerical?
If you read that full article, you'll also note that Sigi once again takes a chance to say that Columbus is a town where you'll get family men and younger players. But the superstars won't come here because it lacks a certain panache', if you will. He then goes into his little fantasy of having Thierry Henry's cell phone, which I can assure you, he doesn't. While I have many, many well-founded doubts about the HSG's ability or willingness to sign a player who requires a multi-million dollar transfer fee and salary, I don't think it's too much to ask for the coach of the local team to at least pretend like HE enjoys being here. Stop talking about how Thierry Henry and David Beckham won't come to Columbus. Stop talking about how only the people who don't go out after 9pm will like this town. Columbus may not be L.A., but it's not Topeka, Kansas either.
Meanwhile, the Crew are still having trouble getting Emmanuel Ekpo into camp. From the above article:
“We’re still working on it,” Schmid said of the Crew’s attempt to sign the Nigerian midfielder. “It’s not completely dead yet. But it’s getting close to (transfer close date) to the 15th rolling around so we’re hoping to get it done by then.”
OK, now I'm really confused. Apparently, Sigi Schmid, the soccer power broker who can dial up Thierry Henry to give him some friendly advice, doesn't have the mojo to get the Nigerian Soccer Federation to grease the skids?
Look, I'm not trying to be a downer here, but this is the same "Shucks! We just missed him" attitude the Crew and Sigi in particular displayed last year when it came to signing that mythical DP. That same attitude has continued with the Maciej Zurawski debacle, which was not completely the Crew's fault. But now we're having trouble getting a discovery signing to come in, someone who may get here and be the African version of Jacob Thomas, for all we know. Again, I know that's not all Ekpo's fault, and that is somewhat comparing apples to the proverbial oranges. The point is, the Crew is once again faced with the possibility of missing out on a player who could answer one of the problems we have had the last three years.
I don't expect the Crew to be able to convince Thierry Henry to lace up a pair of Black and Gold boots, but if we can't even pay the money to get a discovery player who impressed the coaches in camp, how are we ever going to believe that the Crew will unload the necessary cash to make this club a winner? And if the coach is constantly taking potshots at the town, how are the potential players we want ever going to take Columbus seriously?
Hello? Front office...Can you hear me now?
In Defense of Danny
Many Crew fans have noticed that the Crew's newest addition to the back line, Danny O'Rourke, has had a rough start. In fact "rough" might actually be putting it gently. In two games, O'Rourke has manged to foul both Toronto's Jeff Cunningham and New York's Oscar Echeverry in the box, resulting in two penalty kicks.
On the bright side, his fouls have allowed us to see some spectacular play by Will Hesmer:
While Danny O'Rourke has given up two PKs in the last two games, I still think the jury's out. Not on his performance the last two games mind you: We know he was junk. Everyone does. His family does. No one can deny his performances were bad. That said, what remains to be seen is if he will learn, grow, and mature, or if he will continue to founder at this level of play.
Not to sound like your mom telling you not to make fun of the new kid at school, but I will ask you to think back to your first two weeks at a new position at work. Did you make mistakes? Did you need to learn? Absolutely. There is always an adjustment period that people go through when plying a new task.
The same is said here for O'Rourke. The difference is, we're all watching it.
Realize that criticizing O'Rourke is not the same as criticizing a player like Alex Rodriguez or Terrell Owens. Those guys get paid a lot of money to do what they do very well. They have worked years at being in their respective positions. They have a breadth of work behind them that shows they, in fact, CAN be utterly spectacular. If they don't perform, they've more than asked for the criticism, based on their salaries and proven skill.
This may sound harsh to say of him, but Danny O'Rourke has neither of those qualifiers.
O'Rourke isn't the high-priced center back we paid $200,000 to get from New England so he could fix our back line. He was traded from Houston to New York to Toronto to Columbus in his short career. He's a converted defensive midfielder who is being asked by his hometown club to fill a hole. Granted, he's done a poor job thus far, but let's wait and see if he doesn't mature into the role over the next four games, as it will certainly be a baptism by fire.
If you're angry that Sigi Schmid is playing him, or that Mark McCullers didn't buy a replacement at centerback for Marcos Gonzalez, then by all means, let the vitriol proceed. But make sure you're directing it at the right people.
On the bright side, his fouls have allowed us to see some spectacular play by Will Hesmer:
While Danny O'Rourke has given up two PKs in the last two games, I still think the jury's out. Not on his performance the last two games mind you: We know he was junk. Everyone does. His family does. No one can deny his performances were bad. That said, what remains to be seen is if he will learn, grow, and mature, or if he will continue to founder at this level of play.
Not to sound like your mom telling you not to make fun of the new kid at school, but I will ask you to think back to your first two weeks at a new position at work. Did you make mistakes? Did you need to learn? Absolutely. There is always an adjustment period that people go through when plying a new task.
The same is said here for O'Rourke. The difference is, we're all watching it.
Realize that criticizing O'Rourke is not the same as criticizing a player like Alex Rodriguez or Terrell Owens. Those guys get paid a lot of money to do what they do very well. They have worked years at being in their respective positions. They have a breadth of work behind them that shows they, in fact, CAN be utterly spectacular. If they don't perform, they've more than asked for the criticism, based on their salaries and proven skill.
This may sound harsh to say of him, but Danny O'Rourke has neither of those qualifiers.
O'Rourke isn't the high-priced center back we paid $200,000 to get from New England so he could fix our back line. He was traded from Houston to New York to Toronto to Columbus in his short career. He's a converted defensive midfielder who is being asked by his hometown club to fill a hole. Granted, he's done a poor job thus far, but let's wait and see if he doesn't mature into the role over the next four games, as it will certainly be a baptism by fire.
If you're angry that Sigi Schmid is playing him, or that Mark McCullers didn't buy a replacement at centerback for Marcos Gonzalez, then by all means, let the vitriol proceed. But make sure you're directing it at the right people.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Morning Afterthoughts: Game 2 - at NYRB
A stunning and disheartening defeat. The Crew concede two early goals to a fired up Energy Drinks squad, and never quite recover, losing 2-0. Some thoughts I had from watching the game last night:
- First and foremost, Max Breto tells us that the Red Bulls grounds crew watered down the fake grass. Yes, I said FAKE GRASS. You know, the kind that doesn't need water? How the hell is that allowable? I say when the Drinks come to town, we just set burning couches on their half of the field. I mean, that has as much to do with groundskeeping as watering plastic grass, right?
- Despite his brilliance in the Toronto game (and most of this game), the first goal was all Will Hesmer's fault. It was softer than that big ol' dumplin-filled belly his coach carries around on the sidelines. Will should not only have made the save, he should have wrapped the ball up, cradled it in his arms, and sang "When a Man Loves a Woman" by Michael Bolton to it. Instead, he read it, got to the ground, and then let it slip through his arms. Inexcusable.
- The second goal? Well, Chad Marshall, it's your turn to be the goat. I realize you think you got fouled. I realize it might have, in fact, BEEN a foul. But instead of laying on your ass whining about it, maybe next time, you could get back up, make sure the ball gets cleared, and THEN piss and moan about your foul. Pick your spots.
- The Crew were terrible for the first ten minutes, and then played well, behind some stellar goalkeeping form Will Hesmer. Including ANOTHER blocked PK. This should not be lost on the season. Will Hesmer has saved two PKs. The defense in front of him is just absolute shit right now. But Hesmer is going to make some noise at the keeper position before they year is out.
- Danny O'Rourke needs to realize that he can't just foul someone whenever they get around him. You can do that stuff when you're a defensive mid, not when you're the last line of defense in the box. Two PK's in two weeks? Danny, it's called the "penalty area" for a reason.
How much money did that team from Chile give us for Gonzo? Because it wasn't enough.
- Anyone else want to buy a Pancake Puff Pan? Yeah, me neither.
- What was the number of ill-fated crosses we had in that game? 37? How many times did we have the ball at our feet in the box? 943? And yet, we had all of FOUR shots on goal? Absolutely horrendous.
- Once again, Sigi made two baffling substitutions. Didn't we have this saem story last year?
1. Brad Evans for Adam Moffat. Really? At least Moffat was making things happen in the midfield. And Brad Evans is...well, he's Brad Evans. It's not like Sigi was running out a super sub. The Moffat substitution caused the bar to erupt in a chorus of "What the Fuck?"s.
2. The other amazingly insane substitution of the night: Ezra Hendrickson comes in for...umm...someone other than Danny O'Rourke (it was Stephani Miglioranzi). I mean, Ezra isn't necessarily an upgrade, but at least if Sigi would have taken O'Rourke off, it would have signaled that he understood what was going on. Miglioranzi wasn't completely lost out there, which is saying something about last night.
My subs last night (as if Sigi cares) would have been:
Hernandez for Schelotto
Ezra for O'Rourke
And if I had to use a third sub:
Garey for Rogers (who was just a little lost last night)
One final thing on the subs: What the hell was Ezra doing up in the attack? If any of the back line should have been up there, I would vote for Miglioranzi, as he's actually pretty decent in the air and with the ball at his feet. Instead, EZ managed to muff one of the few decent scoring chances we had there towards the end, and most of us at Ruby Tuesday's started throwing back Trailerparks 3 at-a-time.
- I really, really want Eddie Gaven to do well, but he is banned from taking free kicks after that terrible effort in this game. Typical of a Sigi sub. He takes off our best taker of free kicks (Schelotto), and we earn the only direct of the night. Not really a way to prevent that, but it is indicitive of the absolute piss-poor luck we had last night.
- When Wolyniec came in, I knew we were done. Any team that is willing to sub him in is acknowledging that that they don't take the opposing team seriously.
- Parke, after about his 27th dangerous challenge, finally gets sent off...about 20 minutes too late.
- Finally, did anyone else notice Sigi was wearing a parka last night (indicating he was cold) but couldn't be bothered to wear the supporter's scarf? C'mon Sig, don't make me think that was just something you pulled as a publicity stunt for one game.
So...was last night a bad loss? Did we just come out flat against a team that was fired up for their home opener? Can we still be optimistic about the season?
Yes to all three. Though if we see a similar result next week, get the couches ready to burn.
Match Summary here.
- First and foremost, Max Breto tells us that the Red Bulls grounds crew watered down the fake grass. Yes, I said FAKE GRASS. You know, the kind that doesn't need water? How the hell is that allowable? I say when the Drinks come to town, we just set burning couches on their half of the field. I mean, that has as much to do with groundskeeping as watering plastic grass, right?
- Despite his brilliance in the Toronto game (and most of this game), the first goal was all Will Hesmer's fault. It was softer than that big ol' dumplin-filled belly his coach carries around on the sidelines. Will should not only have made the save, he should have wrapped the ball up, cradled it in his arms, and sang "When a Man Loves a Woman" by Michael Bolton to it. Instead, he read it, got to the ground, and then let it slip through his arms. Inexcusable.
- The second goal? Well, Chad Marshall, it's your turn to be the goat. I realize you think you got fouled. I realize it might have, in fact, BEEN a foul. But instead of laying on your ass whining about it, maybe next time, you could get back up, make sure the ball gets cleared, and THEN piss and moan about your foul. Pick your spots.
- The Crew were terrible for the first ten minutes, and then played well, behind some stellar goalkeeping form Will Hesmer. Including ANOTHER blocked PK. This should not be lost on the season. Will Hesmer has saved two PKs. The defense in front of him is just absolute shit right now. But Hesmer is going to make some noise at the keeper position before they year is out.
- Danny O'Rourke needs to realize that he can't just foul someone whenever they get around him. You can do that stuff when you're a defensive mid, not when you're the last line of defense in the box. Two PK's in two weeks? Danny, it's called the "penalty area" for a reason.
How much money did that team from Chile give us for Gonzo? Because it wasn't enough.
- Anyone else want to buy a Pancake Puff Pan? Yeah, me neither.
- What was the number of ill-fated crosses we had in that game? 37? How many times did we have the ball at our feet in the box? 943? And yet, we had all of FOUR shots on goal? Absolutely horrendous.
- Once again, Sigi made two baffling substitutions. Didn't we have this saem story last year?
1. Brad Evans for Adam Moffat. Really? At least Moffat was making things happen in the midfield. And Brad Evans is...well, he's Brad Evans. It's not like Sigi was running out a super sub. The Moffat substitution caused the bar to erupt in a chorus of "What the Fuck?"s.
2. The other amazingly insane substitution of the night: Ezra Hendrickson comes in for...umm...someone other than Danny O'Rourke (it was Stephani Miglioranzi). I mean, Ezra isn't necessarily an upgrade, but at least if Sigi would have taken O'Rourke off, it would have signaled that he understood what was going on. Miglioranzi wasn't completely lost out there, which is saying something about last night.
My subs last night (as if Sigi cares) would have been:
Hernandez for Schelotto
Ezra for O'Rourke
And if I had to use a third sub:
Garey for Rogers (who was just a little lost last night)
One final thing on the subs: What the hell was Ezra doing up in the attack? If any of the back line should have been up there, I would vote for Miglioranzi, as he's actually pretty decent in the air and with the ball at his feet. Instead, EZ managed to muff one of the few decent scoring chances we had there towards the end, and most of us at Ruby Tuesday's started throwing back Trailerparks 3 at-a-time.
- I really, really want Eddie Gaven to do well, but he is banned from taking free kicks after that terrible effort in this game. Typical of a Sigi sub. He takes off our best taker of free kicks (Schelotto), and we earn the only direct of the night. Not really a way to prevent that, but it is indicitive of the absolute piss-poor luck we had last night.
- When Wolyniec came in, I knew we were done. Any team that is willing to sub him in is acknowledging that that they don't take the opposing team seriously.
- Parke, after about his 27th dangerous challenge, finally gets sent off...about 20 minutes too late.
- Finally, did anyone else notice Sigi was wearing a parka last night (indicating he was cold) but couldn't be bothered to wear the supporter's scarf? C'mon Sig, don't make me think that was just something you pulled as a publicity stunt for one game.
So...was last night a bad loss? Did we just come out flat against a team that was fired up for their home opener? Can we still be optimistic about the season?
Yes to all three. Though if we see a similar result next week, get the couches ready to burn.
Match Summary here.
Matchday Update: Altidore Likely to Sit
News today from Big Apple Soccer that Jozy Altidore will most likely not start or play today, due to an injury suffered in training on Thursday:
Relplacing Altidore in the lineup will be tricky. The Drinks are hoping newly aquired forward Oscar Echeverry can play well uptop with Angel. But one has to think the output falls off quite a bit form Altidore to Echeverry.
Obviously, it's early in the season, but to take 3 points in New York would be special. And with Altidore out, it's going to make things even tougher for an already depleted NYRB team. They have little to no life in their midfield, and their defense is nearly as porous as Toronto's. Maybe even worse. The Crew should not be thinking tie in this game, despite being on the road.
I stand by my earlier 2-1 prediction. Now? Off to Ruby Tuesday's. Go Crew!!!
“I don’t think he will be in contention for tomorrow,” Osorio said after Friday’s training. “I only want to play players who are 100 percent healthy and he’s not 100 percent healthy. I would rather play somebody else.”
Relplacing Altidore in the lineup will be tricky. The Drinks are hoping newly aquired forward Oscar Echeverry can play well uptop with Angel. But one has to think the output falls off quite a bit form Altidore to Echeverry.
Obviously, it's early in the season, but to take 3 points in New York would be special. And with Altidore out, it's going to make things even tougher for an already depleted NYRB team. They have little to no life in their midfield, and their defense is nearly as porous as Toronto's. Maybe even worse. The Crew should not be thinking tie in this game, despite being on the road.
I stand by my earlier 2-1 prediction. Now? Off to Ruby Tuesday's. Go Crew!!!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Business 101: Crew-style
The list of 2008 MLS Salaries have been released by the league. Once again we see how the Crew are making due with less, something that is vital for a small market team to survive. Here's a look at what some other teams are getting, and a comparable Crew eqivalent.
Playmaker
Chicago Fire - Cuauhtemoc Blaco
2008 Salary - $2.6 million
Crew Equivalent - Guillermo Barros Schelotto
2008 Salary - $425,000
Savings = $2.2 million
In Mexico, Blanco is an unparalleled hero. He is a flamboyant player, who is known for drawing fouls, creating chances for teammates, and converting set pieces in big moments. But switch your place on the map to Argentina, which many would argue is a larger hotbed of soccer than even Mexico, and GBS is the equal measure superstar and clutch performer.
Comparing stats, Schelotto and Blanco had similar numbers in fouls suffered (65-61 in favor of Schelotto), though Blanco started later, so maybe that's not fair to him. Both had strings of consecutive games with an assist (Schelotto led the league with a 5-game streak, while Blanco hit 3 in a row).
And while the Fire have already made back the extra two mil in exposure and jersey sales, it could be argued that the Crew have gotten at least half that exposure among Hispanics in this country for a fourth of the price, while getting equal or better service on the pitch. Follow that math? Good.
Plus, Guillermo has a mullet. Big extra points in my book.
Keeper
F.C. Dallas - Dario Sala
2008 Salary - $139,875
Crew Equivalent - Will Hesmer
2008 Salary - $70,000
Savings = $69,875
While Hesmer compares quite evenly with Matt Reis and Kevin Hartman in GAA, I felt that Dallas' Dario Sala was a good comparison because of minutes played (Hemser's 1800 to Sala's 1620), record (Hesmer 8-7-5, Sala 8-7-3), shutouts (both had five last year), as well as Goals Against Average (Hesmer 1.45, Sala 1.61). When you consider that Dallas' keeper of the future, Josh Lambo, is also on the roll for $45,000, while Columbus' future is most likely Hesmer, the savings are even better. With the money they've saved on Hesmer, the Crew can afford a player in the range of Robbie Rogers ($57,500), Danny O'Rourke ($69,147), or 3.9 Adam Moffats (17,700 apiece).
And again, Ricky Bobby has better hair.
Defender
L.A. Galaxy - Abel Xavier
2008 Salary - $156,000
Crew Equivalent - Chad Marshall (position only)
2008 Salary - $148,000
Savings = $8,000
I realize that $8,000 doesn't seem like much. But if someone told you, "Hey, I'm going to NOT give you cancer, ebola, and AIDS, plus pay you $8,000 cash and give you the exact opposite of all those things", wouldn't you consider that a good deal?
That's Chad Marshall to Abel Xavier. One is a tremendous defender, good in the air, and a steady presence on the back line who is not going to give up stupid fouls and can lock down the other team's best forward. The other is quite possibly the worst defender in MLS history. Now how much is that $8,000 worth? Millions? Billions?
Plus, this now gives the Crew 3-in-a-row for the "Better Hair" consideration.
Bottom line, the Crew are going to do more with less money than almost any other team in the league. And they have the necessary cap room left to add the final piece: a Designated Player. That's how you run a business.
Playmaker
Chicago Fire - Cuauhtemoc Blaco
2008 Salary - $2.6 million
Crew Equivalent - Guillermo Barros Schelotto
2008 Salary - $425,000
Savings = $2.2 million
In Mexico, Blanco is an unparalleled hero. He is a flamboyant player, who is known for drawing fouls, creating chances for teammates, and converting set pieces in big moments. But switch your place on the map to Argentina, which many would argue is a larger hotbed of soccer than even Mexico, and GBS is the equal measure superstar and clutch performer.
Comparing stats, Schelotto and Blanco had similar numbers in fouls suffered (65-61 in favor of Schelotto), though Blanco started later, so maybe that's not fair to him. Both had strings of consecutive games with an assist (Schelotto led the league with a 5-game streak, while Blanco hit 3 in a row).
And while the Fire have already made back the extra two mil in exposure and jersey sales, it could be argued that the Crew have gotten at least half that exposure among Hispanics in this country for a fourth of the price, while getting equal or better service on the pitch. Follow that math? Good.
Plus, Guillermo has a mullet. Big extra points in my book.
Keeper
F.C. Dallas - Dario Sala
2008 Salary - $139,875
Crew Equivalent - Will Hesmer
2008 Salary - $70,000
Savings = $69,875
While Hesmer compares quite evenly with Matt Reis and Kevin Hartman in GAA, I felt that Dallas' Dario Sala was a good comparison because of minutes played (Hemser's 1800 to Sala's 1620), record (Hesmer 8-7-5, Sala 8-7-3), shutouts (both had five last year), as well as Goals Against Average (Hesmer 1.45, Sala 1.61). When you consider that Dallas' keeper of the future, Josh Lambo, is also on the roll for $45,000, while Columbus' future is most likely Hesmer, the savings are even better. With the money they've saved on Hesmer, the Crew can afford a player in the range of Robbie Rogers ($57,500), Danny O'Rourke ($69,147), or 3.9 Adam Moffats (17,700 apiece).
And again, Ricky Bobby has better hair.
Defender
L.A. Galaxy - Abel Xavier
2008 Salary - $156,000
Crew Equivalent - Chad Marshall (position only)
2008 Salary - $148,000
Savings = $8,000
I realize that $8,000 doesn't seem like much. But if someone told you, "Hey, I'm going to NOT give you cancer, ebola, and AIDS, plus pay you $8,000 cash and give you the exact opposite of all those things", wouldn't you consider that a good deal?
That's Chad Marshall to Abel Xavier. One is a tremendous defender, good in the air, and a steady presence on the back line who is not going to give up stupid fouls and can lock down the other team's best forward. The other is quite possibly the worst defender in MLS history. Now how much is that $8,000 worth? Millions? Billions?
Plus, this now gives the Crew 3-in-a-row for the "Better Hair" consideration.
Bottom line, the Crew are going to do more with less money than almost any other team in the league. And they have the necessary cap room left to add the final piece: a Designated Player. That's how you run a business.
We Talkin' Bout PRACTICE
Yesterday, I had a day off, and decided to go watch the Crew practice at Ohio Dominican. Having never been to an official Crew practice, I was under the impression that the event was attended by at least a few members of the media, or fans, or someone.
The only media member there was "Mr. High School Sports" himself, Larry Larson, of 610 WTVN. He's a legend in the Columbus radio world, and he's one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. He talked to me for a solid 20 minutes before practice, and he proved to be very knowledgeable about the team. He was also genuinely bummed that he missed the win last week. If you ever see him at a sporting event, and he's not in the middle of something, introduce yourself. You won't be disappointed.
But other than Mr. Larson, there was no one there other Crew players and staff. So when Sigmund walked onto the grounds, I asked him if this was a closed practice, or if I could watch. I had my trusty notebook with me, and he pointed to it and said, "As long as you're not passing any notes to the Red Bulls, yeah you can watch."
Utter blasphemy, Coach! I would never betray the Black and Gold! Satisified with my allegiance to the Crew Nation, Sigi granted me access to the practice.
My main reason for attending practice was to catch a glimpse of the new aquisition, Gino Padulla, who was in uniform. I tried to nose around for some info on whether or not he would be playing this weekend, and the Crew staff were tight lipped about it. My guess is that he won't play, as he only saw limited action in one of the full squad drills, and didn't participate in the full scrimmage. From what I saw, he looked a little rusty on the ball, but not bad. Probably just needs another week or two with the boys, and he'll fit in. Also, S&C coach Steve had Padulla and Guilherme So' running for the second half of practice, so my guess is Padulla needs to get his fitness up before he sees gametime. As for So', they're still working out his work visa (I think), which would mean they're not wasting practice time on someone who isn't available yet.
Other observations:
- Sigi has quite the fatherly presence in practice. He's a little of a hard-ass, but he always takes the time to bring the player over and explain why he's getting onto him. Watching him in practice helped me understand even more why he was so successfull in college, and why he seems to get a lot of growth out of his younger players.
- Brian Bliss was on hand, as was Mr. McCullers, the latter of which was surprising to me. I always thought of M&M as a behind-the-desk GM, worried as much about the ROI as he is about the right back. While that may still be the case, I have gotten the sense over the last few weeks that he is a soccer guy first, and a businessman second. Which is good for this club. I am willing to admit that I was wrong about him in my earlier criticisms of his decisions.
- For as much skill as he exhibits in games, Robbie Rogers seems to get an inordinate amount of correcting in practice. Play was stopped 3-4 times to show him how he was in the wrong position. It's hard to remember that he isn't old enough to buy a beer yet. The kid is magic on the field though. I hope he can stay out of Sigi's doghouse, if such a place actually exists.
Finally, midway through the practice, I looked across the field, and saw a strange car driving around the parking lot. It was one of those Red Bull jeeps with the can of Red Bull on the top of it. Apparently, New York did send their spies after all...
The only media member there was "Mr. High School Sports" himself, Larry Larson, of 610 WTVN. He's a legend in the Columbus radio world, and he's one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. He talked to me for a solid 20 minutes before practice, and he proved to be very knowledgeable about the team. He was also genuinely bummed that he missed the win last week. If you ever see him at a sporting event, and he's not in the middle of something, introduce yourself. You won't be disappointed.
But other than Mr. Larson, there was no one there other Crew players and staff. So when Sigmund walked onto the grounds, I asked him if this was a closed practice, or if I could watch. I had my trusty notebook with me, and he pointed to it and said, "As long as you're not passing any notes to the Red Bulls, yeah you can watch."
Utter blasphemy, Coach! I would never betray the Black and Gold! Satisified with my allegiance to the Crew Nation, Sigi granted me access to the practice.
My main reason for attending practice was to catch a glimpse of the new aquisition, Gino Padulla, who was in uniform. I tried to nose around for some info on whether or not he would be playing this weekend, and the Crew staff were tight lipped about it. My guess is that he won't play, as he only saw limited action in one of the full squad drills, and didn't participate in the full scrimmage. From what I saw, he looked a little rusty on the ball, but not bad. Probably just needs another week or two with the boys, and he'll fit in. Also, S&C coach Steve had Padulla and Guilherme So' running for the second half of practice, so my guess is Padulla needs to get his fitness up before he sees gametime. As for So', they're still working out his work visa (I think), which would mean they're not wasting practice time on someone who isn't available yet.
Other observations:
- Sigi has quite the fatherly presence in practice. He's a little of a hard-ass, but he always takes the time to bring the player over and explain why he's getting onto him. Watching him in practice helped me understand even more why he was so successfull in college, and why he seems to get a lot of growth out of his younger players.
- Brian Bliss was on hand, as was Mr. McCullers, the latter of which was surprising to me. I always thought of M&M as a behind-the-desk GM, worried as much about the ROI as he is about the right back. While that may still be the case, I have gotten the sense over the last few weeks that he is a soccer guy first, and a businessman second. Which is good for this club. I am willing to admit that I was wrong about him in my earlier criticisms of his decisions.
- For as much skill as he exhibits in games, Robbie Rogers seems to get an inordinate amount of correcting in practice. Play was stopped 3-4 times to show him how he was in the wrong position. It's hard to remember that he isn't old enough to buy a beer yet. The kid is magic on the field though. I hope he can stay out of Sigi's doghouse, if such a place actually exists.
Finally, midway through the practice, I looked across the field, and saw a strange car driving around the parking lot. It was one of those Red Bull jeeps with the can of Red Bull on the top of it. Apparently, New York did send their spies after all...
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Game 2: at New York Red Bulls
Fresh off a correct score prediction from last week, CTID tries to go 2/2 on the predictions tip. OK, so I got the goal scorers wrong, but I'll make up for it this week.
New York Red Bulls
What you need to know:
JPA and Altidore are the only non-shitty parts of this team.
New additions:
Jaeger, scooter for Claudio Reyna.
Biggest hole to fill:
Giants Stadium, at least for this year.
2008 Prediction:
Like the nimble co-ed who thinks she can hold her liquor, the Energy Drinks will start off strong, but eventually end up all wobbly and passed out on a park bench in front of their apartement. So, they're missing the playoffs. Also, if Jozy Altidore transfers to Europe, add the phrase "Roofies" to the previous analogy.
NYRB match preview here.
Game prediction:
Moffat scores again, and Robbie Rogers tallies for the first time as well. Both are assisted by Guillermo Barros Schelotto. JPA gets his first goal, but that's it, and the Crew win 2-1.
Finally, if you're going to the game, here a video of what to expect from the NY fans, especially the Long Island fans:
New York Red Bulls
What you need to know:
JPA and Altidore are the only non-shitty parts of this team.
New additions:
Jaeger, scooter for Claudio Reyna.
Biggest hole to fill:
Giants Stadium, at least for this year.
2008 Prediction:
Like the nimble co-ed who thinks she can hold her liquor, the Energy Drinks will start off strong, but eventually end up all wobbly and passed out on a park bench in front of their apartement. So, they're missing the playoffs. Also, if Jozy Altidore transfers to Europe, add the phrase "Roofies" to the previous analogy.
NYRB match preview here.
Game prediction:
Moffat scores again, and Robbie Rogers tallies for the first time as well. Both are assisted by Guillermo Barros Schelotto. JPA gets his first goal, but that's it, and the Crew win 2-1.
Finally, if you're going to the game, here a video of what to expect from the NY fans, especially the Long Island fans:
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Eric Denton Has Got...
...Balls on his...
Oops. Sorry, that's the start of the chant longtime Crew fans will be singing when Eric Denton rolls into town with his new club, the San Jose Earthquakes. That game will be June 7th, so circle your calendars now. In blood.
"Why all this animosity towards Eric Denton" one might ask. Glad you did.
You see, many moons ago, Eric Denton played for this fine orgainzation known as the Columbus Crew. This was during one of the darker periods in Crew history, when a man named Greg Andrulis lorded over the starting eleven. He was a terrible coach, a man who threw out things like logic and reason, in favor of more unconventional methods of determining the best players. He was rumored to have based his decision to re-sign Duncan Oughton over Brian Maisonneuve after deciding that Oughton's hair color more closely matched the color of Andrulis's beard. He also hated children, puppies, and rainbows.
Anyway, it was during these dark ages that Mr. Denton played for the Crew. And it was in one specific game that he managed to completely and permanently enshrine himself in the Columbus Crew hall of shame.
The game was a US Open Cup match against a lowly USL side, the Syracuse Salty Dogs. Let's just say that the Salty Dogs did not have a storied history. In fact, they barely had ANY history, as they were only formed in 2003, and discontinued operations in 2004. But during the 20 months they graced the soccer universe with their presence, the Dogs played a game in Crew Stadium, for the US Open Cup. The Crew won that game controversially, as Kyle Martino drew a phantom PK in stoppage time that was converted by Ross Paule, giving the Crew a 2-1 victory. But for most of the game, the Crew were plainly outplayed by their USL adversaries.
I could go on and on about how poorly the Crew played, or that they barely beat at USL team, or that this win was one of the lowest points in Crew history. But the point of this story is to instead shed light on one particular event in that terrible match. After an outstandingly horrific play, in which Mr. Denton ignored acres of green space set before him, and opted to pass to a teammate who was clearly marked by two men, some Crew fans started to holler at him. "You can do better than that", they yelled. "That was a terrible idea, get your head in the game," one screamed. Nothing more than constructive criticism in the CTID book, but criticism nonetheless. And Mr. Denton, whom one would assume had grown accustomed to insults being hurled his way, was having none of it.
After all, he's Eric F*cking Denton...
With the gusto that was usually only reserved for drivers who swerved in front of him during rush hour, Mr. Denton told those fans and anyone else watching that he felt they were number one. He flipped them the bird. Gave them the one-finger salute. Whatever euphenism works for you. Eric Denton was pissed, and he let his middle finger, in outstretched glory, do the talking.
After processing the moment (remember, this is a Crew player flipping off Crew fans in Crew Stadium), the fans continued all the more loudly in their harrassment of the terribly unskilled Mr. Denton, to the point that he eventually fled Columbus in shame. (If you'd like to read what else some of those fans did, you can read the Big Soccer discussion forum after that game, which is linked here.) But as was alluded to a moment ago, Mr. Denton was never the same. He went from playing for one of the best clubs in MLS, to the utterly criminal Colorado Crapids organization, to being completely out of professional soccer by 2007. Well, he wasn't completely out of professional soccer, as MLS Rumors was reporting that Denton had opened a side business of performing sexual favors for MLS referees.
In due time, many fans forgot about the whole nasty incident (the bird flipping, not the fellatio). And no doubt when Eric Denton shows his mug in Crew stadium this June, many fans will scarcely remember that the man even played for the Black and Gold. But we here at CTID would hope that true Crew fans will come out to the match and do the only thing that true supporters can do to welcome back a former, disgraced player.
Ride his ass for the full 90 minutes.
Padulla Officially on the Roster, So' Scores for Reserves
It's all in this week's Weekly Crew Update, courtesy of the Crew's offical website. Some notes I found interesting:
Gino Padulla was added to the roster.
And he's pretty excited about. Unfortunately for Leonard Griffin, he's no longer with America's Hardest Working Team. Which I'm sure is tough for any player that leaves the Massive Club that is Columbus. Padula will be taking the left back position from Stefani Miglioranzi (who is playing out of position), though I would be surprised if he gets the start this weekend against the Drinks. Hopefully, Padulla can fit right in with the system and be a tough-nosed defender for the Crew. Also, a good cheer we might want to use for him:
Glory, glory Hallelujah / Crushing tackles from Padula
He will run right through ya / The Crew goes marching on
Guilherme So' (pronounced "SAH") scored for the Crew reserves on Sunday.
Apparently, he knocked home a bicycle for the 2nd team! That's encouraging, as we saw in the Metapan game he has the moves on the ball to make defenders miss. If he has finishing abilities as well, he may well be a diamond in the rough for the Crew. Also, I thought everyone should know how to pronounce his name, as pronouncing it "so" might lead to a ton of bad puns.
Of course, if he scores a game winner, you can guarantee that CTID will be rocking a "So' Amazing!" headline the next day.
Will Hesmer (pronounced "William") records first clean sheet of the season.
Not sure why, but in this update, they keep referring to him as "William" instead of Will. Are we Crew fans missing something? Does Ricky Bobby prefer "Richard"? I'm confused...
One last NCR item.
Don't forget to scout the opposition tomorrow night, as there are two games on ESPN2:
New England at Shitcago - 8:00 pm
San Jose at L.A. - 10:30 pm
Gino Padulla was added to the roster.
And he's pretty excited about. Unfortunately for Leonard Griffin, he's no longer with America's Hardest Working Team. Which I'm sure is tough for any player that leaves the Massive Club that is Columbus. Padula will be taking the left back position from Stefani Miglioranzi (who is playing out of position), though I would be surprised if he gets the start this weekend against the Drinks. Hopefully, Padulla can fit right in with the system and be a tough-nosed defender for the Crew. Also, a good cheer we might want to use for him:
Glory, glory Hallelujah / Crushing tackles from Padula
He will run right through ya / The Crew goes marching on
Guilherme So' (pronounced "SAH") scored for the Crew reserves on Sunday.
Apparently, he knocked home a bicycle for the 2nd team! That's encouraging, as we saw in the Metapan game he has the moves on the ball to make defenders miss. If he has finishing abilities as well, he may well be a diamond in the rough for the Crew. Also, I thought everyone should know how to pronounce his name, as pronouncing it "so" might lead to a ton of bad puns.
Of course, if he scores a game winner, you can guarantee that CTID will be rocking a "So' Amazing!" headline the next day.
Will Hesmer (pronounced "William") records first clean sheet of the season.
Not sure why, but in this update, they keep referring to him as "William" instead of Will. Are we Crew fans missing something? Does Ricky Bobby prefer "Richard"? I'm confused...
One last NCR item.
Don't forget to scout the opposition tomorrow night, as there are two games on ESPN2:
New England at Shitcago - 8:00 pm
San Jose at L.A. - 10:30 pm
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Not Crew Related - 4/1/2008
OK, these aren't April Fool's pranks, just some news from around the soccer world that is not related to the Black and Gold. By the way, did anyone see Gmail's prank this year? Pretty funny.
Taylor Twellman is getting surgery on his knee. Rumor has it the surgery is just cosmetic. Also, it's being performed by the Kick Medic.
Toronto is looking to score a goal this year, changing strategy from last season. And apparently, Mo is looking to powerhouses Barnsley and Derby County to strengthen his attack. Hey, at least Barnsley has beaten a few decent teams this year. Mo does know there are other nations that play soccer, yes?
McBride back in the U.S. Kit? Ives seems to think so. Then again, some would wonder if Ives believes the pre-dated Gmail scam.
DC Kia? Maybe. Ives also seems to think a foreign carmaker is going to end up sponsoring the Scum's jerseys this year.
Maybe they can get one of those new Mercedes economy cars to get ol' Moreno around on the field...
Taylor Twellman is getting surgery on his knee. Rumor has it the surgery is just cosmetic. Also, it's being performed by the Kick Medic.
Toronto is looking to score a goal this year, changing strategy from last season. And apparently, Mo is looking to powerhouses Barnsley and Derby County to strengthen his attack. Hey, at least Barnsley has beaten a few decent teams this year. Mo does know there are other nations that play soccer, yes?
McBride back in the U.S. Kit? Ives seems to think so. Then again, some would wonder if Ives believes the pre-dated Gmail scam.
DC Kia? Maybe. Ives also seems to think a foreign carmaker is going to end up sponsoring the Scum's jerseys this year.
Maybe they can get one of those new Mercedes economy cars to get ol' Moreno around on the field...
Scouting the Opposition
This week the Crew take on the New York Red Bulls, or as they are more disaffectionately known around the league, the "Energy Drinks".
Here are their prime scoring weapons:
Juan Pablo Angel
- Played in Aregntina for River Plate, also spent time in England with Aston Villa.
- Scored 19 goals and 5 assists in 24 league matches last year for the Drinks. Basically, if he's on the field, he's responsible for a goal a game.
- 33 Caps for the Colombian national team.
Josmer "Jozy" Altidore
At nineteen, he is the next big thing in American soccer:
- Scored his first professional goal in MLS at age 16
- Scored 13 goals in his first full MLS season, at age 17
- Has already scored a goal with the U.S. Men's National team
- Drawn interest from Manchester United and Chelsea, who are going to be in a bidding war for him when the transfer window opens.
Fortunately for the Crew, the Energy Drinks are without speedy midfielder Dane Richards, who does a lot of the work to get the ball into space for these two weapons. Still, Chad Marshall, Danny O'Rourke, and the rest of the defense will have to be on their very top game, as both Altidore and Angel can be lethal with the ball at their feet from 30 yards and in.
Of course, the Crew have some young guns of our own in Robbie Rogers, Eddie Gaven, and the new sensation, Adam Moffat. This could end up being a very exciting, high-scoring game.
Here are their prime scoring weapons:
Juan Pablo Angel
- Played in Aregntina for River Plate, also spent time in England with Aston Villa.
- Scored 19 goals and 5 assists in 24 league matches last year for the Drinks. Basically, if he's on the field, he's responsible for a goal a game.
- 33 Caps for the Colombian national team.
Josmer "Jozy" Altidore
At nineteen, he is the next big thing in American soccer:
- Scored his first professional goal in MLS at age 16
- Scored 13 goals in his first full MLS season, at age 17
- Has already scored a goal with the U.S. Men's National team
- Drawn interest from Manchester United and Chelsea, who are going to be in a bidding war for him when the transfer window opens.
Fortunately for the Crew, the Energy Drinks are without speedy midfielder Dane Richards, who does a lot of the work to get the ball into space for these two weapons. Still, Chad Marshall, Danny O'Rourke, and the rest of the defense will have to be on their very top game, as both Altidore and Angel can be lethal with the ball at their feet from 30 yards and in.
Of course, the Crew have some young guns of our own in Robbie Rogers, Eddie Gaven, and the new sensation, Adam Moffat. This could end up being a very exciting, high-scoring game.
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