Smitty's Silly Match Preview - Game 10: @ Chivas USA

The Crew are coming off a long week. Nevermind anything else that might have gone on surrounding the team, when you have 3 games in 7 days, and one of those games is on the other sides of the country, it can be more taxing than the California Legislature.

Fortunately, the Crew get to head to beautiful shores of California to take on the Cheevus Goats, a team we've already beaten once this year.

CHIVAS USA


What You Need To Know: After their last meeting, not only does Robbie Rogers own Brad Guzan, he also own's Guzan's house, car, and collection of Barbies. If the last game were an episode of "Pinks", Robbie ran in the low 9's while Guzan's vehicle smoked and sputtered before throwing a rod.

New Additions: Is it just me, or do a few of the ChivaGirls appear to have gotten...um..."enhanced"?



Also, in completely unrelated news, the Chivs Youth Soccer Academy is suffering a shortage of size 3 balls.

Biggest Holes to Fill: Here are all of the contract players who are OUT for this Saturday's game:

- Jonathan Bornstein
- Alecko Eskandarian
- Maykel Galindo
- Lawson Vaughn
- Raphael Wicky
- Alex Zotinca

Not "Probable," or "Doubtful," or "Questionable." OUT. Not playing. Add in the fact that Claudio Suarez and Shavar Thomas are both listed as "Questionable," and the Crew are going to be playing a bunch of backups. So, I would guess there are some holes to fill this weekend.

2008 Prediction: Chivas wasn't that good to start off, but then again, the West is terrible. Look for a Superclassico Western Conference Final, with both L.A. teams in the mix.

Match Preview here.

Game Prediction: The Crew get back off the losing train, and get back 3 points on the road to make up for the 3 they lost at home last week. Goals by Robbie Rogers, Adam Moffat, and Chad Marshall. Chivas goal by Sasha Kljestan. Crew win 3-1.

Past, Present, and Crewture Tense...I Told You So.

By Smitty




On October 16th of 2007, on a Big Soccer thread entitled "Wishful Thinking" on the Crew forum, I posted the following comments in response to the idea of the Crew's ability to obtain Riquelme as our Designated Player:

Since we're in the wishful thinking category, what about German Denis? Here are the basics:

15 goals in the 13 games so far in the Apertura this year playing for Independiente. Also, he just got a call up to the Argentine National team.


(Note: This isn't the original vid I posted, as the one I used has been removed. Still, here are all 18 goals he ended up scoring last season.)

His Wikipedia page for further info...

Normally, I would say he's out of our league. But...
-He's 26, so he's not "old", but not a young prodigy. Could be a Juan Pablo Angel type player.
- He's already done the Europe thing.
- We have GBS, and thus, maybe, an "in".

Plus, he's a "German", so Sigi wouldn't have any problems...

The Crew have made no announcements regarding signing this player. BUT today they annouced the team we are playing in our first exhibition match. Yeah, it's none other than Independiente, a legendary club in South America. More importantly, it's the home of one German Denis.

Now consider that Brian Bliss just got on a plane today headed to "Brazil" (suuuuure...) to scout some players. Make no bones about it, I know what I'm talking about. Here's my step-by-step prediction of what's going to happen:

1. Bliss is putting up a smoke screen about Brazil. He'll make one or two stops, grab a cab in the middle of the night and head for Argentina.

2. The whole reason Bliss is in South America is to pitch German Denis on taking over the reigns once GBS hangs up the boots after this season.

3. The Crew can afford Denis because of the money they're not going to be spending on McBride (more on that in a moment), and the money they'll save once Guille walks away next year.

4. Independiente come to Columbus and allow Denis to get one good runout in front of Mark and the Fat Man against competition both will know well (The Crew).

5. Denis rips off his Independiente kit after the game, revealing a fresh #20 Banana kit that he took from the soon-to-be-released Nico Hernandez, and immediately has a press conference at the center circle in front of all the Argentine fans who came out to the match to see him.

- Denis becomes the perfect point man to finish all those beautiful crosses being sent in by Robbie Rogers, Frankie Hejduk, and Guillermo.

- The Crew beat L.A. 5-0 in the MLS Cup and get a taste of double, also swiping the U.S. Open Cup.

- Denis gets a hat trick in two seperate playoff games.

- Everyone buys me beer for calling this situation a whole year ago.

Just saying, don't be shocked when I'm right.

In other Crew news...

- Brian McBride has stated he's leaving Fulham. Wishful Crew fans are hoping it's to come back to the Black and Gold, but I have news for you: He's not. McBride will most likely end up with the Fire or Toronto, but Chicago does not have a DP, so it'll be interesting to see what they give up to get him. Still, McBride's agent and brother Matt is doing some PR, saying that McBride will always love Columbus, regardles of where he ends up. That means it won't be Columbus folks. He wouldn't have to tell us he loves us if he wasn't going somewhere else.

- Channel 6 did a story on the Youtube video last night. Thus continuing this douchebag's 15 minutes of "in"fame..

- I'll be posting my Silly Game Preview before Friday is out.

Crew for One

America's Hardest Working Fans (Photo: Sam Fahmi)

Ahh Memorial Day, that magical weekend where barbecues flicker, parades flourish, and bloggers forget to write anything about their favorite soccer team. OK, so I slacked off. Forgive me. To make up for it, I am flogging myself with a whip made of Frankie Hejduk's National Team called-up mane, and writing a dual wrap-up article about both the loss to New England (1-0) and the victory over RSL (2-0).

To accomplish this, I'm going to take some negatives from Saturday's loss and contrast them with some positive things the Crew did to change it up in the Open Cup win. I'm also swilling some Landshark, so bear with me if I start blogging under the influence.

Negative #1: The Crew's futility cost them against New England.

The Crew were stuck trying to poke home prayers in front of New England's ace keeper Matt Reis, who had a hell of a game stopping the Crew's chances. But to only manage two shots on goal is pathetic. Alejandro Moreno looked frustrated and oft-fouled, and when Robbie Rogers was not getting stuffed into the turf, he was being marked by three guys. Clearly, the league has gotten the memo that these two are pretty good.

Positive # 1: The Crew's offensive swagger returned against RSL.

To be sure, the Royal Mormons are GAWD awful. But the creativeness of new faces like Steve Lenhart (who tucked in the first goal from about 8 yards out) and Emmanuel Ekpo were welcome. Granted, Ekpo was lost at times in the midfield, but his pace and footwork were more than sufficient to create space, and you can see the potential. Robbie Rogers showed his world-class skill by bending a 25-yarder around Nick Rimando for our second goal. It was, dare I say it, Beckham-esque. Let's just say the Crew needed that confidence boost almost as bad as bad as China needs a few more seismographs.

What...the Olympics are coming, and I'll be damned if we're letting Robbie go over there with two good legs before they get those earthquakes under control.


Negative #2: The Crew's left back against New England.

It's probably not fair to continually rip Ezra Hendrickson. After all, it's not his fault Sigi keeps calling his name come gametime. Still, Ezra once again looked like a flamingo trying to kick an armadillo on some of his clearances. And as if there needs to be any more evidence, Ezra was beaten in the box by Steve "Wow, I remember when dirt was invented" Ralston. Seriously? If you can't lock down Old Man Ralston, it might be time to start working on the non-regional dialect for the old broadcast booth there, EZ.

Positive #2: The Crew's starting left back against RSL.

His name is Ryan Junge (pronounced "BAMF"), and he was a beast tonight. He's not Gino Padula, but I'll be damned if he didn't rip a shot right at Rimando from 30 yards out in the first half. And he was more than capable in assisting the stalwart Chad Marshall and tenacious Danny O'Rourke. Someone needs to sit me down and explain to me why he isn't the first backup in defense instead of Ezra, because I am just not seeing it.

Negative #3: The midfield was less than agressive against both Toronto and New England.

In the last two games, playing through the midfield was tougher than trying to figure out how Guillermo gets that elastic crinkle in his sleeves. (Does he custom order them that way, or does his twin brother sew in the elastic? I haven't been able to sleep for 5 weeks trying to figure this out...) Partially, that's because the Crew were playing against two of the better midfield in MLS, but it also had to do with the absence of one key player...

Positive #3: Adam Moffat's agressive play.

I unfortunately had to work until 7:30, so I missed the first 25 minutes of the game. But you can imagine my and all Crew fans excitement to see Adam Moffat back on the pitch after his torn cartilage kept him sidelined for a few weeks. And he made a difference once again, fighting for every loose ball and winning more than a few hard tackles in the midfield. I can guarantee you no two people are happier to see him back than GBS and Robbie Rogers. With Moffat in the middle of the park in front of Brian Carrol, Danny O'Rourke and Chad Marshall, any opposing player coming to the center circle and beyond will be getting a warm welcome from the Crew's Scottish Ambassador. Also, I would be surprised if all the cheap fouls on Guille and Rogers continue, now that Moffat is back and especially when Gino gets back.

Negative #4: The 5% of douchebags who made the other 95% of us look bad against New England.

If you haven't seen MLS Rumors or Steve Goff's riffs on the Nordecke, don't bother with it. I won't re-bore you with the minutia, but basically, a few people threw beer at New England's players, and one person was heard on youtube calling some of the African players on New England the "N" word.

Apparently Goff and the chick that runs MLS Rumors haven't figured this out, so I'll spell it out nice and clear: When you judge a group of people by a select few, you're painting with a broad brush. And which takes more skill: painting a house, or painting Van Gogh's "Starry Night?" The simple-minded often jump on the easy point, which is often the entirely wrong story.

What should have been the story was how professional athletes who are paid a salary by people who attend games have no problem taunting those very same people that could easily walk away from their game, thus eventually costing them salary and ultimately their livelihood. I don't expect the Perez Hilton of MLS to grasp the subtle nuances at work in a social science experiment like that one, but Steve Goff works for the Washington Post for crying out loud. I would expect more from someone like him.

That all said, if you are the person who felt the need to use the "N" word, I encourage you to man up and say that to Ezra Hendrickson, Andy Iro, and Emmanuel Ekpo, and see how tough it makes you feel. Better yet, if you're so proud of it, why don't you just tell us all who you are? If that's why Shalrie Joseph flipped us the bird, then I quite honestly can't blame him.

The bottom line is, 95% of the crowd on Saturday was there for the right reasons, but 5% ruined it by being stupid. Welcome to life.

Positive #4: The 5% of douchebags who made the other 95% of us look bad against New England didn't show up against RSL, leaving only 100% Awesomeness.

If MLS is truly investigating the Crew Supporters, they need only look at what little tape exists from the RSL match to put the matter to bed. On a game where only the diehards showed up, nary a bottle, smokebomb, or racial slur made it onto the field. What did translate all through the stadium was a rowdy fan group that threw nothing but streamers, cheered on our boys in yellow, and sang for 90 minutes. Gee, it's almost as if the true fans are the ones playing by the rules! Go figure!!

If you want the 95% good, there are almost always going to be the 5% bad. There has to be a way to manage it, but let's put it this way: I'd rather have to keep an eye out for 10 or 12 bad apples instead of only having 10 or 12 people who care. With great success comes great responsibility. Hope we're up to the task.

Other notes:

- Congrats to Frankie Hejduk getting the call-up for some National Team duty. Also, any chance we can get the Olympic team to be sponsored by Natty Light? I think it would be appropriate on so many levels.

- Let it be heretofore noted that the coaches made the right move letting John Busch go. I loved the guy, but with Will Hesmer in goal and Andy Gruenenbaum on the bench, the Crew are more than fine between the woodwork. If you missed it, the Hebrew Hammer was the MOTM in my opinion against The William Jeffers All-Stars. I honestly like the idea of having a US Open keeper and a MLS Season keeper.

- Sigi came over after the match and shook everyone's hand on the front row all the way around the corner. You have to love that show of support after all the crap some of the media has given us this week. Good on ya, Sigi.

Go Crew, we face Chivas this Saturday night and eventually will take on the F*re in the next round of USOC qualifying.

Smitty's Silly Crew Preview: Game 9 - New England

After a stunning tie to the Canucks, the Black and Gold are ready to get back in the win column. It's Buck-A-Brat night so make sure you buy at least one extra to throw at the first Revs player to take a corner.

New England

Andy Herron's finest moment as a Crew player.


What You Need To Know: Taylor Twellman is doubtful with a strained labia.

New Additions: Some guy named "Kenny Mansally", which sounds like police codespeak for a serial tranny hooker.

Biggest Holes to Fill: Still got that open space on the ol' trophy case...

2008 Prediction: Taylor Twellman will continue to look like an ass in those Kick-Medic commercials.

Match Preview here.

Game Prediction: Adam Moffat and Taylor Twellman both come in as 2nd half subs. Moffat scores the winner in his return, as Twellman gets put in traction by Frankie Hejduk. Crew win 3-1.

Crew Hymnal

Since I've been on vacation this week, I've had some time to think about some good songs for the Crew. I spent a majority of Saturday in a Toyota Prius with another rabid Crew fan (my brother), an up-and-coming-Crew fan (his wife), and an on-her-way-to-being-a-Crew-fan (my wife.) Anyway, we brought quite a few mix CDs, and ended up with some good song ideas.

OK, so it's only two. Whatever.

On my Vans Warped Tour compilation CD, there is a great band called "Gogol Bordello." They are by far the most unique/funny/disturbing bands I have ever listened to at length. The other day, on the way out to vacation, my brother and I had an idea for a new song for the Crew based off of their song "Start Wearing Purple". You can probably already see where this is going...

Start wearing yellow, wearing yellow
Start wearing yellow for me now
All humanity
Will sing this for Columbus
I promise
in only
A matter of time...

They rhythm is a little complicated, but what the hell, we all had music class in grade school, right?

Here's the video to aid in singing. about :30 seconds in is the part that sounds more like a crowd singing it.



Anyone know how to play the accordion? Anyone know how to spell it, because I think I failed.

Second on the hit parade is a take-off of the old AC/DC tune "What Do You Do for Money, Honey?". The song is specifically for Taylor Twellman.

Twellman!
Not good enough for England!
Twellman!
Stuck on Nicol's bench again!

You can obviously take the song 100 different ways, so here's the AC/DC video to use for some inspiration. :58 is where the chorus starts for the youngsters out there.



Some other ideas (in case he actually plays):

Twellman!
Has never had a woman!
He likes to date his hand!
Still can't beat Houston!
He's got a stupid fake tan!

You can see how easy that would be to take to the next level. The idea would be to repeat that pattern over and over again.

We've got a few more days, so let's try both of these out.

Crew Nation: Holden Beach, NC.

Greetings from Holden Beach, North Carolina. I am taking a much needed vacation with the fam, and getting a lot of sun. I've been rocking my Crew gear, and have been stopped on more than one occasion by people from Columbus asking if the Crew are as good as advertised. So, apparently, some buzz is building. Unfortunately, I am staying at a place with no internet access. Still, thanks to a tiny ice cream shop in the tiny town of Shallotte that had free Wi-Fi, I was able to watch the Crew's 0-0 sister kiss with Toronto. I can't do the running diary this week, but still, I do have some thoughts about what I liked and disliked about the Crew's performance.



The Good:

- The Crew have taken 4 points in their last two road games, which has to be considered an improvement over the last three years.

- Will Hesmer got another clean sheet. And don't doubt for a second that he had the shot off the woodwork covered, because he did.

- The Reds were vastly improved since the last time the Crew played them. The Crew, meanwhile, were short-staffed, being without the services of Adam Moffat, Gino Padula, and even Stefani Miglioranzi. With Toronto always being tough at home due to their crappy field and annoying fans, points are welcome. While it's disappointing to not get the full three, the Crew remain unbeaten in the last 6 games, and are a tie away from getting to 20 points before the month of May ends.

- Chicago lost, puting them three behind us. The Crew could have a six point lead on New England as well, depending on what happens in our major tilt this weekend weekend.


The Bad:

- The Crew continue to have trouble creating space on Field Turf. Our offensive chances were not really dangerous as much as they were "mildly offensive". Which works in both senses of the phrase.

- Sigi's substitution policy continues to baffle.

With Brad Evans and EZ on the field, Sigi couldn't go with his normally absurd subs. Instead of making the natural, most logical sub (Ekpo for Gaven), Sigi pulls the Jed Zayner card out of his hip pocket. He then proceeded to eat his last two subs. Having little internet acces this weekend, I haven't even read his postgame comments, but my guess is that his reasoning is that he wanted to stay conservative since we had a point on the road. This shouldn't be a shock, as the Rotund One is notorious for being conservative on the road. And you can't argue with taking points in away stadiums. Still, I can't decide if Sigmund's tentative road gameplan is brilliant or negligent.

- Toronto's fans. Sure they were loud at times, and they are the only other fan base that even comes close to throwing as many streamers as Columbus. But there were LOOOOONG stretches where the 20,000 Crimson Idiots were stone silent. Guess they don't know what to do when the physical evidence on the pitch doesn't jive with their nonsensical delusions.


The Ugly:

- Ezra Hendrickson. We love you EZ, you've always given it your best, but you are not first team material anymore. I'm sorry.

Whew, that was rough, but I think it went well. Now, can we please get our Gino back? We not only lose good defense without Padula; the offensive threat he brings is undeniable. An with Mr. Kick Medic coming to town next weekend, we will need both to keep pace with the Revs.

- Eddie Gaven's offensive chances. While he continues to play solid defense, at some point, he has to produce offense to justify his spot in the best eleven. And on Saturday he continued showing less and less in the offensive third. He played shots that should have been crosses at least 4 times. He also was lax in making support runs. We can make the playoffs with how he's playing now; we could be MLS champs if he plays to his supposed capability.

- We did mention the Toronto fans, right?

Overall, Toronto played one of their best games ever, the Crew played mediocre at best, and the score was still 0-0. I'll take that. Next week, the Crew will get their toughest home challenge yet. This will be the first true six-pointer we've had this season. Plus it's Buck-a-Brat night, so you'll have to evolve a third hand to hold your brat, your beer, and your streamer this weekend. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some beach soccer to play...

Smitty's Silly Game Preview - Game 8 @ TFC

The Crew are winners of 6 out of the first 7 and 5 in a row. Toronto is starting to look like a formidible opponent. Plus, there's a lot of bad blood between the supporters of these two teams, though that's mainly because the one team keeps beating the other team, and the sucky team's fans won't shut up about how awesome they think they are.

This game is going to be red-hot, and one can only guess if the Plastic Pitch will be able to withstand it...

Toronto F.C.


What You Need to Know: Toronto fans are fond of starting rumors. One of the more recent ones is that Columbus will be moved to Montreal for an expansion team. In that vein, another rumor we've heard is that all Toronto fans have syphillis and AIDS. Both rumors are equal in their veracity.

New Additions: Since the last time Toronto lost to Columbus ("played" Columbus is hardly the term), the Red Snatches have added a guy who rejected a trade to Toronto last year (Amado Guevara), a guy with two first names (Laurent Robert), and a guy who is named after a fictional province in Middle Earth (Rohan Ricketts).

Also, Toronto has added a whole new team of footballers who can play at BMO Field:


Biggest Holes to Fill: The void left in all Canadians hearts by the passing of Chris Benoit...

2008 Prediction: Toronto has a better season than most expected, barely sneaking into the playoffs. There, they will gain their new identity: Columbus' Eastern Conference Finals Bitch.

Match Preview here.

Game Prediction: Danny Dichio sputters against the powerful Chad Marshall, and Amado Guevara shoots blanks as the Crew win a defensive contest 1-0. The goal comes from a Guillermo Barros Schelotto free kick. And the Crew keep rolling...

Intercepted: Toronto Football Chat...

Recently, a friend emailed me this transcript of a conversation he snagged from a forum named "Lovers of the Red". Don't ask me why my friend was on such a site, as it's beyond me. I also cannot fully account for the veracity of the findings. However, what is to follow is a glimpse into the mind of a Toronto F.C fan (or in this case, four of them) the week before a Crew matchup. And it's much, much weirder than anything we could have imagined.

RedPizzatch27: What up
Royal_mounted_brigadier_general_of_the_leaf: Howdy
BMOrgy69: hai guyz
Dichiosdingleberry: cannot effing wait fortis weekend!!11!
RedPizzatch27: srsly
BMOrgy69: wtig
Royal_mounted_brigadier_general_of_the_leaf: huh?
RedPizzatch27: ??
Dichiosdingleberry: lol
BMOrgy69: wtig = what time is game
RedPizzatch27: oooohh....4pm
Royal_mounted_brigadier_general_of_the_leaf: it's 4pm
Royal_mounted_brigadier_general_of_the_leaf: You guys think we'll win?
BMOrgy69: OMG yes. we r soooo much better now.
Dichiosdingleberry: please god, I hope so.
RedPizzatch27: no doubt.
RedPizzatch27: Anyone in here know who that Robbie Rogers kid is?
Dichiosdingleberry: sucks. He didn't even make there u-23 tema.
Dichiosdingleberry: *team
BMOrgy69: yah but hez cute tho...
Royal_mounted_brigadier_general_of_the_leaf: excuse me?
BMOrgy69: just sayin...
RedPizzatch27: weird.
Dichiosdingleberry: hoooookay....so whosin charge of the TIFO?
Royal_mounted_brigadier_general_of_the_leaf: Terry.
Dichiosdingleberry: whose Terry? lol.
Royal_mounted_brigadier_general_of_the_leaf: Older guy, kind of has a beer belly. doesn't know much about soccer, but he's a huge Toronto fan.
RedPizzatch27: that's like all of our fans, lol.
BMOrgy69: ROTFLMAO
Dichiosdingleberry: sad but true
Dichiosdingleberry: whose terry?
Royal_mounted_brigadier_general_of_the_leaf: Just look for the guy with the signs. I'm helping him, and I know who you are, so I'll find you.
Dichiosdingleberry: Kewl
Royal_mounted_brigadier_general_of_the_leaf: hey, anyone know how you spell the opposite of "lose"?
RedPizzatch27: Wyn?
Dichiosdingleberry: Tie?
BMOrgy69: Columbus? jk, lol
Dichiosdingleberry: that might be it actually...
RedPizzatch27: God, we suck
RedPizzatch27: aight, I'm out. Gotta go jerk it to a PS I made of Danny D making out with Chris Benoit's corpse.
BMOrgy69: FTW!!
Royal_mounted_brigadier_general_of_the_leaf: NICE
Dichiosdingleberry: want...
RedPizzatch27: l8r

Sadly, this is as much as we can post of th transcript online, as the rest of it is worse than what you would read on those Dateline "To Catch a Predator" shows. If you're going up to TFC this weekend, bring your hazmat suits.

Paint the Town Yellow...

While the group we're bringing to the great white north is no where near the size the Toronto lackeys brought to Crew Stadium, the few that are going can still make quite the...um..."impact."



Since it's a long drive, I'm sure many of you will be in need of a restroom upon arrival at Toronto. Below are a list of "bathrooms" in the downtown area.



Drink up!

Peter Nowak: Friend of the Crew

Many longtime Crew fans will remember that before Peter Nowak was the head coach of the U-23's and the assistant to Bob Bradley with the senior national team, he was one in a line of many hated players on the Chicago Fire's roster. More recently, he was the head coach of D.C. United for a few years. So, why am I calling him a friend of the Crew?

Quite plainly, because he's the man who came up with this:

U-23 CONCACAF Olympic Qualifying Roster

No. Name Club
1 Seitz, Chris Real Salt Lake (MLS)
2 Wynne, Marvell Toronto FC (MLS)
3 Orozco, Michael San Luis (Mexico)
4 Ianni, Patrick Houston Dynamo (MLS)
5 Sturgis, Nathan Real Salt Lake (MLS)
6 Edu, Maurice Toronto FC (MLS)
7 Holden, Stuart Houston Dynamo (MLS)
8 Zizzo, Sal San Diego, Calif. Hannover 96 (Germany)
9 Davies, Charlie Hammarby IF (Sweden)
10 McCarty, Dax FC Dallas (MLS)
11 Adu, Freddy SL Benfica (Portugal)
12 Altidore, Jozy N.Y. Red Bulls (MLS)
13 Freeman, Hunter N.Y. Red Bulls (MLS)
14 Findley, Robbie Real Salt Lake (MLS)
15 Hill, Kamani VfL Wolfsburg (Germany)
16 Kljestan, Sacha Chivas USA (MLS)
17 Spector, Jonathan West Ham United (England)
18 Cervi, Dominic Not Under Contract
19 Barrett, Chad Chicago Fire (MLS)
20 Gaven, Eddie Columbus Crew (MLS)

Since leaving Robbie Rogers off the team this past spring, the 21-year old has pushed himself even harder, and it's paying off. Even before putting in two goals against San Jose this weekend, Robbie Rogers has been the fastest player on the field, and the player who has the most dangerous looks on goal. To be sure, no one is selling Guille or Moreno short, as they are the two main cogs that drive the Crew offense. But ponder this: If there is one Crew player you want in a 1-v-1 with the keeper, who is it?

Already, Robbie has made Brad Guzan, Kevin Hartman, and Joe Cannon look like fools. While maybe not the best in the world, those three are veteran MLS keepers. And as we've seen time and again, it's beginning to look like the keeper is a more important factor than the right back for whatever team is trying to stop Mr. Rogers. He's faster than most forwards in the league, let alone most defenders.

But let's not pretend Robbie Rogers hasn't had this ability, and that Peter Nowak caused him to suddenly blossom into the full blown offensive threat he is by leaving him off the roster. Everyone could clearly see that Rogers was a tremendous talent last year, especially after the D.C. finale. While Rogers only played in 6 games last year, he had three goals. What Nowak did was ensure that Robbie Rogers didn't think he had arrived. Rogers has obviously been playing hard every match, and is reaping the rewards.

Still, everyone knows, deep down inside, being told "you're not good enough" will eat away at anyone. The best of us find away to turn that spurning into motivation, and Rogers has clearly put the right spin on the situation. And this week, he has the opportunity to take his show on the international stage against T.F.C. at the "Home of the Argonauts". Let's hope his play continues to translate, even on the plastic pitch.

Morning Afterthoughts: San Jose

The Crew rolled into the cozy confines of Buck Shaw stadium to face San Jose on Saturday night. And the Crew were so much better than the Quakes, they only needed ten minutes to win the game. As always, I'm rewatching the Crew's 3-2 victory to see what I might have missed while at Ruby Tuesday, and keeping a running journal. Enjoy!

PREGAME

- Welcome to Buck Shaw Stadium! Unfortunately, the broadcast MLS TV is posting online is the San Jose hometown broadcast. And even though we're not watching the Columbus feed, I'll go ahead and mention how disappointed I've become with Dwight Burgess. I used to love hearing him call the game, but this season, it's as if he's looking for something negative to say about the Crew, even when they win. Obviously, no one wants a cheerleader in the booth, but he could at least pretend he's excited for the way the season has started.

Also, he's not down with the streamers, so that's another big check in my book.

- The San Jose broadcast just showed the Crew's starting XI, with Miglioranzi in the middle, then when they went to show the San Jose lineup, they showed the Crew's lineup again, but this time with Ekpo in the middle. Technical glitch, but obviously Crew fans weren't the only ones who thought that would be a good idea...


FIRST HALF

:47 - The announcers just mentioned that Brian Carrol was a SJ Quake for about 2 minutes before his rights were traded to the Crew fo Kei Kamara. Yeah, I know it's early, but I'm becoming more and more happy with that trade. Carrol has anchored our midfield, while Kamara has continued aiming for the scoreboard when he's in front. And I mean the physical scoreboard, 80 feet above the goal...

3:38 - The color analyst for The San Jose Earthquakes Television Network just said that he gave Danny O'Rourke some tips about not fouling in the box this week. Yeah, I'm sure Danny didn't know that. The thing I always think about when color analysts pretend they know it all is this: You're not playing anymore. The guys on the field are still playing. They know what they're doing. Unless they're Eric Denton...

5:42 - The first corner kick of the match. There were a lot of these.

7:17 - The broadcast team (I didn't get their names) just said Sigi was at the UC Santa Clara gym before the game shooting hoops. Mr. Color Analyst says "He doesn't look like much of a basketball player..." That's funny, because you two don't sound like professional announcers. We're making all kinds of discoveries today.

7:35 - James Riley gives a forearm shiver to Robbie Rogers, who was about to blow right by the Quakes defender. And our crack broadcast team in the booth? Yeah, they're calling it a professional foul. Even after the replay clearly shows a foul that would have gotten called in the NHL. Fortunately, the ref knows enough to show yellow.

9:05 - I just saw a shot of Nick Garcia and Alejandro Moreno walking next to each other. Their respective numbers are 3 and 10. This reminded me of the movie "3:10 to Yuma", which, when it came out, I kept confusing with the movie "No Country for Old Men", mainly because I wanted to see both. Then I realized, Nick Garcia looks like the retarded guy in NCFOM.

11:49 - Corner kick number 2. GBS sends the ball in, and EZRA OLD MAN FREAKING HENDRICKSON somehow manages to put a beautiful header on frame. And by beautiful, I mean drop dead, knockout, 10 out of 10, gorgeous beauty of a shot. I could make love to that shot.

Unfortunately, the shot did everything right but go in, as it just hits the top of the crossbar. But Ezra placed it about as good as you can for it not to go in. He had Cannon and company completely frozen. Shame it didn't go in.

14:10 - Corner number 3

14:23 - Corner number 4

15:03 - Corner number 5. Incase you didn't notice last night, there were a TON of corner kicks. I think it might have set a record.

16:30 - Corner number 6 (This one for San Jose). Ezra nearly scores again, but this time, on his own end. Fortunately, he missed that one too. But that clearance led to...

16:49 - Corner number 7

18:48 - Kei Kamara takes a shot just outside the box, which gets defelcted into being a better shot than it would have been, knowing Kamara. The deflection nearly beats Big Willie, but it goes just wide, leading to...

19:10 - Corner number 8.

19:53 - Eddie Gaven send a nice ball into the penalty area, right to Miglioranzi's foot, but he does a terrible job with it, and it's cleared away. Just wanted to point out that Gaven wasn't invisible in this game.

21:28 - Corner number 9.

21:55 - Guille gets open on the left side, crosses to Moreno, who flicks it across the goal box, but no one is making the backside run. That's one area Robbie Rogers could use some work on. He needs to make the backpost run more than he does.

But rewatching this game, it's becoming evident the game could have been 10-2.

23:30 - The San Jose color guy just said "He's also got a new haircut", speaking of Peguero.

"Not now chief...it's f*ckin' gametime..."

28:37 - Now this is classic. The broadcast clearly shows Miglioranzi down on the ground with an injury, and the broadcast group can't stop talking about the great run that someone just made. Finally, they notice Miglioranzi and mention he's down, then go right into talking about buying tickets for the next home game.

No, seriously guys, it's fine. He might have just ripped his quad from the bone for all we know, but please, tell me more about "Remember When Landon Donovan Played For Us?" Bobblehead night. Asses...

30:38 - Corner number 10.

31:59 - Frankie sends a great cross into the box, which gets headed away by Nick Garcia. Creeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Corner!

32:29 - Corner number 11.

32:37 - The stadium is so quiet, you can clearly hear one of the players yell "Who we got? Someone get a f*ckin' man!"

Anyone want to cost Comcast Bay Area $5,000? Call the FCC at 1-800-Big-Brother.

Oh, and by the way...

32:49 - Corner number 12, 7th for Columbus.

34:23 - Brad Evans takes another great cross from Frankie and almost puts it in the near post. Every time I see Brad, I'm reminded of that sign someone put up last year that said "Brad Evans, Down on the Farm."

34:57 - We can't say exactly what part of his body Ezra used to block that cross, but lets just say it rhymes with the word "Modem".

By the way, an all-time great moment occured at Ruby's last night. We see the replay of Ezra getting slammed in the junk, everyone says "ooooh" at the same time. Then, a brief silence, until someone blurts out "C'mon Ezra! Rub some dirt on it and get back out there!" Classic.

Ezra's now infamous "cock block" led to...

35:32 - Corner number 13.

35:55 - Just learned that these two dolts broadcasting the game are John Schrader and Troy Dyak. I think John Schrader was the guy from Dukes of Hazard. No idea who Troy Dyak is though...

37:27 - Just wiki'd Troy Dyak. Apparently, he played his entire career as a central defender for the Quakes, owns an alfalfa farm, and his nickname is "Cowboy."

39:44 - Uh-oh. Schrader is bringing up the fact that Denton used to play for the Crew. *Blood begins shooting from eyes...*

41:27 - And right on cue, Eric Denton smacks a ball off one of the Crew defenders, and it goes out for the corner...

41:53 - Corner number 14 is headed in for the goal by Ramiro Corrales. 1-0 Quakes. As much as I hate it, that was a spectacular play. Carrol did all he could with Corrales, and yet he somehow snuck it right under the crossbar.

43:13 - Wow, that's an interesting stat. Since 2000, San Jose is 62-3-9 when scoring first. I don't even want to think about what Columbus' record is in that category.

And the first half ends. I was not happy at this moment.

SECOND HALF

46:55 - Kei Kamara shoves Chad Marshall into the boards, where Marshal gets curbed on the Microsoft sign. Kamara immediately gets up and starts acting like a douchebag. This 2008 version of the Sierra Leone native is a little more of a punk than I remember.

Also, as Marshall is laying on the ground in obvious pain, Schrader (the announcer) says, "Looks like Marshall is taking a little break." Yeah John, I'm sure that's what a guy who suffered from post-concussion syndrome is doing after getting thrown head-first into the boards.

49:13 - Hesmer makes another sick save from a Ronnie O'Brien shot. Still playing down a man at this point. Lots of drinking was occuring at the bar around this time.

49:47 - Marshall makes it back onto the field. Dyak comments, "That look on his face, I've seen that before, and it's a look that says, 'I don't feel so good right now'." Thanks, Cowboy.

51:01 - Almost forgot...Corner number 15, and it's for the Crew. That gets headed over the endline by a Quakes player, which leads to...

51:24 - Corner number 16. Once again sent out by the Quakes, leading to...

51:43 - Corner number 17. Wow. I mean wow. The Crew have had more chances to score than Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend after she's "had a few".

52:55 - Eddie Gaven lays it off for Frankie Hejduk, who sends in a beautiful cross that Brad Evans heads well over the cross bar. I didn't notice how much Gaven and Evans were involved in the offense last night (outside of Evan's goal obviously). Good to see those guys stepping up.

54:22 - Rogers goes down in the box, but no call. But we do get...

54:41 - Corner number 18. If we'd have done a shot everytime there was a corner kick, someone might have died.

54:55 - Hey, there's Ned Grabavoy! He just blocked one of Frankie Hejduk's shots with his face. It did deflect out though, so you know what that means...

55:27 - Corner number 19. It's the 12th of the game for the Crew. This corner was pushed out to Frankie, who should have had a goal of the week. He sends a spectacular little lob shot from the 18 yard box, which Joe Cannon barely tips over the net. Cannon may have made the save of the week.

55:55 - Oh..right. Corner number 20. By the way, all the Crew's corners resulted in zero goals tonight. Honestly, I don't even know if you make them practice at this point, how much more practice can you get than what they got in the game?

56:48 - Kamara has all the time in the world, and he attempts to cross, and instead blows it well over the endline. the touch was so bad, announcer-guy Schrader says, "Kamara....(kick)...and it's knocked out of bounds....by San Jose..." It looked like a deflection, for God's sake! Once again, we turned Kei Kamara into Brian Carrol. Who's angry about this?

59:57 - Talk about coming back to haunt you...

The announcers have been talking about the San Jose groundskeepers wetting down the field before the game. Well, apparently it was still pretty slick, as Joe Cannon slips as he was making a clearance, allowing Moreno to get the ball with the keeper on his back in the six. Unfortunately, Moreno was so far in, he could only manage to cross the ball across the front of the goal.

61:28 - Gaven gets the ball blocked past the endline on his attempted cross. You know what time it is...

61:47 - Corner number 21, Crew corner number 15.

62:47 - Ronnie O'Brien flips the ball just past Will Hesmer, but also just wide of the goal. And the goalscoring machine that is Kei Kamara is NOT pleased! Kamara is seen in the replay clearly chewing out O'Brien. The announcers, to their credit, take Kamara to task for complaining because, essentially, he sucks ass.

63:32 - Hey, lookie there! Crew Corner! It's number 22 overall, and number 16 for the Crew.

Of course, it didn't result in a goal, but still good to know.

67:01 - Loved this exchange by the announcers:

Schrader - "Rogers has been kind of bottled up here tonight. Not as much space to run as he might have liked."

"Cowboy" Dyak - "Yeah the field is smaller than some of the others in the league."

Schrader is clearly paying a compliment to the San Jose defense, and Cowboy thinks he's talking about the width of the field. Stupendous work gents. Also, nevermind the irony here...

By the way, Robbie Rogers turns 21 on Monday, so feel free to buy him a drink for all his hard work in the game.

67:25 - First Emmanuel Ekpo sighting.

68:28 - Ekpo in for Gaven. I know Gaven probably hates it, coming off so early, but I really like this strategy. Gaven spends the first 2/3rds of the game wearing down the midfield, which creates tons more space for a slightly more creative and much fresher Ekpo. Not a bad move there Sigi.

70:01 - Ezra does the running, and gets rewarded with a ball in the box, which he firmly deposits right between Joe Cannon's legs. Couldn't decide to go with a "ball" or "box" joke there.

Also, that is the second play in the same game involving EZ and testicles.

70:42 - Another great pass through the middle, and Brad Evans heads it onto goal, where Cannon makes another great save. So, let's count. We have:

1. Ezra's header off the bar
2. Brad Evan's first header
3. Frankie's lob shot
4. Moreno's almost goal off the Cannon mistake
5. Ezra's ball buster
6. Brad Evan's 2nd header

Nevermind the 16 corners we had to this point. And we STILL scored three goals! I was saying that ficticiously earlier, but now I'm convinced, this game SHOULD have been 10-2.

71:06 - Sorry, make that 17 corners for the Crew and 23 overall.

72:30 - Still amazed by that goal by Rogers! Emmanuel Ekpo steals the ball on the sideline, passes to Carrol who dumps it right back to him. Ekpo takes a touch and sends a gift wrapped through ball to the sprinting Robbie Rogers, who takes one touch, and goes five-hole on a defenseless Joe Cannon. 1-1 Crew.

Everything was textbook on that play: the tackle, the first pass, the return, the through ball, and the finish. Looked like they were running it in practice.

77:00 - Schelotto hits a free kick that once again requires Cannon to make a tip save over the bar. I'm starting to get legitimately angry that the Crew didn't win 10-2.

77:35 - "Mr. Corner Kick," as the broadcast group call Schelotto, take corner number 24, and his 18th of the game. That's gotta be a record. San Jose clears for another corner kick for the Black and Gold.

78:02 - 18th corner for the Crew, and 24th overall, which Marshall can't do anything with. I hope his head is ok.

79:54 - Moreno slides a pass through what looked like all 11 members of San Jose. Robbie Rogers carries it past Joe Cannon, who looked completely lost, and nudges it home for the 2-1 lead!

And Ruby Tuesdays almost fell in on itself at this point. I felt bad for the lame acoustic act that was trying to get through their set upstairs. It must have felt like playing a show directly above hell. A lot of swearing and gnashing of teeth, followed by shouting and screaming.

Also, kudos to Robbie Rogers on the fist-pumping slide celebration. He gets a 9 from me.

80:02 - Someone in the crowd is clearly heard over the broadcast group yelling "Goddammit!"

81:52 - One minute and 50 seconds later, Brad Evans gets on the board with a cracker of a shot that whistles right past the now suicidal Joe Cannon's ear and just under the cross bar. And guess who made the pass? Yep, Schelotto. You knew the wily Argentine was going to get in on the action after hitting 18 corner kicks to no avail. Crew lead 3-1.

Good to see Brad Evans get his first goal after having so many chances on the night.

83:54 - Schrader lets us know it's been 10 years since the Crew had a 5-game winning streak. He also sounds as if he has a gun in his mouth.

85:36 - Schrader is just reading liner notes at this point. He read one for Saag's specialty sausage in the 85th minute, and now he's reading one for KFC. He even cutoff the Cowboy, who was talking about how quiet the crowd got. Apparently, Schrader didn't even want to hear that noise.

86:12 - Moreno received the ball at the top of the 18, and could have put in goal number 4 on the night. But he stepped on the ball and fell. Oh well, just another feather in the "should have been 10-2" cap.

87:28 - Hesmer makes a nice save on Gavin Glinton's near-post effort.

87:39 - Hesmer just said clear as a bell, "Hey! Get in the f*ckin game!" to one of the defenders who let Glinton in. He was not happy.

87:53 - Corner number 25 results in a second goal for San Jose. Ryan Johnson heads the ball towards goal, and it glances off Frankie's noggin, and past Will Hesmer. I think Frankie was trying to redirect it out.

Also, both SJ goals came on corners. That's a problem.

STOPPAGE TIME:

- Ezra and Marshall clank melons, and both go down in a heap. Not good for Chad Marshall to get hit twice in the same game. Also, Kei Kamara elevates himself from "junior prick" to "Senior Dickbag" status by screaming at the two of them to get up, as he thinks they are wasting time.

Well, they probably are milking it, but to be fair, Ezra looked like he was taking some stitches.

94:19 - Game over! Crew win 3-2!!!

What a great game. The Crew should never have let it be this close, but you can't argue with their ten-minute domination that left no doubt who the best team on the field was. Also, the Crew have reached 6 wins faster than ever!

MOTM is Robbie Rogers without a doubt. Happy Brithday son, drinks are on us.

Next week: Toronto, part 2. Are you going?

Gameday Update: Crew Need the Fifth

Who is this guy? And why is he on the Crew blog? Read on...

Just wanted to take a quick look around the league as we get ready for the late nighter against San Jose. I know many Crew fans are planning on an easy win tonight, but let's hope the team is on its game. DC did Columbus no favors on Thursday night, losing to the Fire 2-0. Thanks for that, Scum; the one time a Columbus fan might root for you, and you choke. No seriously, thanks.

Thanks to DC, the Crew have to keep winning to stay in front of the Chicago Fire. As good as the Crew have looked, that first game against Chicago will really let us know who is truly the class of the East. Granted, we're all pretty sure it's the Crew, but Chicago is having just as good of a start to the season.

So what else is going on besides the Crew kicking ass in San Jose? Glad you asked:

The FSC Overhyped Crapfest: Colorado at Houston (8:30pm FSC)
Houston is desperate for a win. Colorado has lost two out of three, but they did beat DC at home last week. Of course, beating DC is about as easy as convincing a 400-pound man to go with you to Hometown Buffet. Look for Houston to get that first win.

Prediction: Houston wins 3-1


The No-One-Cares Western Conference Game: Dallas at Real Salt Lake (9pm Direct Kick)
Does anyone else think Arturo Alvarez looks like Rod Stewart? Me neither...

Prediction: Dallas wins 2-0


That OTHER Late Night Game: NYRB at LA Galaxy (10:30pm HD Net)
Landon Donovan and David Beckham welcome JPA and Jozy Altidore to the HDC. Fortunately for the Galaxy, Abel Xavier is injured, so maybe Donovan won't have to score three goals for them to win. Then again, that begs the question "Who is worse": Abel Xavier, or the guy who can't beat out Abel Xavier for the starting job?

Prediction: NYRB win 3-2


The Interesting Sunday Game: New England at Chivas (3pm Sunday Telfutura)
Taylor Twellman is probable for the Revs, who have looked poor early this year. Chivas hasn't been much better. Still, both teams have quality, and if this matchup were to occur when the teams are at full strength, it's probably be a little more interesting.

Prediction: 2-2 draw

Of course, I'm pulling for NY and NE to lose, but against the West, it's not likely. You can't keep quality down.

Finally, on a completely unrelated note, the Big Soccer board had an interesting topic regarding things new Crew fans should know. It's quite interesting, and there's some good info on there for the noobs of Crew nation. My favorite part of the thread was this link: The Saga of Brad Fiedel

For those not in the know, the former U.S. National Team and currrent Blackburn Rovers keeper was named MLS Goalkeeper of the Year in 1997 as a member of the Crew. He was then sold to Liverpool for $1.7 million, and eventually landed in Blackburn, where he seen the team go from promotion to almost qualifying for Europe in his 8 years there. Friedel started a tradition of the Crew exporting talent oversees (see also: Brian McBride, Stern John, Marcos Gonzalez, etc...). And as much as I hate to say it, players like Robbie Rogers, Adam Moffat, and even Will Hesmer could have bright futures in Europe. But Friedel was the first Crew player to make a splash.

Smitty's Silly Preview: Game 7 at San Jose

The Crew are rolling through the league. And fresh off a clean dispatching of one of the early league leaders, the Yellow Soccer Team will be playing their first game on the West Coast. Fortunately, it's against one of the worst teams in MLS, the San Jose Clash...err...Earthquakes. Also fortunate for the Crew, they get to look in the 2007 mirror to see Kei Kamara and Ned Grabavoy on the other side, with the Quakes are going to be shaking when they get a sight of the Massive Club storming their makeshift field.

San Jose Earthquakes:


What you need to know:
San Jose left back Matt Hatzke will be missing the game due to a National Team callup.

Oh, by the way...that's the U.S. Men's National FUTSAL Team. You know, indoor soccer? Apparently he'd rather play indoor for a team that 90% of U.S. Soccer fans didn't know existed than play for his club team. Of course, who can blame him? After all, it is the Massive Club coming to town.

New additions:
Some Hatian dude; stadium.

Biggest holes to fill:
Can the whole team qualify?

2008 Prediction:
As an expansion team, they are guaranteed to do no worse than last year.

Match preview here.

Game prediction: The game will be closer than most expect as Grabavoy and Kamara play up for their former team. But in honor of Matt Hatzke's service with the Futsal Nats (bless you!) this weekend, I'll say the Crew win with an indoor score of 15-2.

By the way San Jose fans, below are the highlights of Landon Donovan's 3 goal game from ealrier this season. In that game alone, Donovan outscored your entire team FOR THE ENTIRE SEASON. But hey, at least you have as many goals as Alan Gordon.

Ready Eddie?

2008 has been a huge year for the Crew (some might use the word "Massive"). 5-1 start to the season. The emergence of Adam Moffat and Chad Marshall. The re-emergence of Alejandro Moreno and Gino Padula. The steadiness we expect from Guille and Frankie. And let's not forget, the fortifying of one soccer-specific Crew Stadium, where the Crew are 4-0.

But quietly going about his business is the humble Eddie Gaven. Once known as the MLS wunderkind who was destined to be a perennial MLS All Star, Gaven has been quietly having a nice season. It's not been one full of goals, mind you, but his presence in the midfield, especially on defense, is one of the reasons players like Moffat, Guillermo Barros Schelotto, and Robbie Rogers have been so effective. Someone has to stay home and cover those offensive forays, especially when Moffat or Gino Padula go forward, and Gaven drinks that milkshake.

Unfortunately, "DP Eddie", as his teammates call him, is getting paid a helluva a lot of money to be a utility midfielder. Right or wrong, many fans expect that one of the highest-paid players on the team is going to develop into either a leader, a goal-scorer, or an ass-kicker. And while it's not Eddie Gaven's fault that someone in the Metrobulls front office decided he was worth $156,000 per year and then traded him to Columbus for Edson Buddle, Gaven is none of those three. In all honesty, his demeanor can best be described as "mopey".

Please understand, the word "mopey" is being used here in the most polite way possible. It's not moping like a little kid who doesn't get the big fancy toy he wanted for Christmas; it's more like the guy who just found out the girl he wanted to ask to prom already said yes to the backup quarterback. It's not that he's malcontent. He's just quiet. A little toooo quiet...

To be clear, I have been one of Eddie Gaven's most staunch defenders. Many have said that they would rather not see number 12 on the pitch, that he needs a break, give someone else a shot, blah blah blah. But on the heels of the news that Adam Moffat is out for the next few weeks due to knee surgery, I know this Crew fan was thrilled that we have someone of Gaven's ability to step into that midfield role. While he's not yet developed into the goal-scoring machine we'd all hoped he would be, Eddie Gaven is good with the ball at his feet, he can defend, and he can bring the ball into the offensive third. His big issue has been not turning chances into goals, something a winger must do for Sigi's system to be successful (see: Robbie Rogers).

(And by the way, if Sigi insists on putting Gaven out on the wing this weekend with either Ekpo or Migs in the middle, I will be gouging my eyes out with a bar of Zest that has been fashioned into a shiv...)

But even the most grizzled defender of E-Money has to admit that it's soon going to be time for him to start making a name for himself on this team. For too long, Gaven has been known as "the kid who could be great" or "that guy who had a couple good years with the Metrostars." He's been given a set of expectations, but those were all based on things he did in the past. Now is the time for Gaven to carve out a new niche for himself on this team, and it doesn't necesarily have to be on offense. We've already got Fearless Leader (Guillermo), Heart and Soul (Frankie), Brick Wall (Chad Marshall), Tenacious Scorer (Moreno), and Guy Who Looks Like He Might Be On A Wanted Poster In Rest Stops (Gino Padula).

But who is Eddie Gaven? Can he be "Second Scoring Threat"? Maybe not. But wouldn't we all welcome another "Hard-nosed Midfielder Who Can Get Forward" player?

The thing is, Gaven is better served playing in the middle of the pitch, where his creativity and sharp passing will suit him fine. Yet, Sigi insists on keeping the kid out wide, much in the way Coach 101 (and counting) kept Andy Herron out wide last season when his preferred position was in the middle. Fortunately for him, Gaven should be given a chance to see what he can do this week in the middle against a weak team in San Jose. With Moffat out of the lineup, and with such weak competition on the other side, Sigi would be crazy not to start Ekpo out wide and see what he can do, and let Eddie slide over to fill-in for the injured Scot.

Wherever he lines up, Gaven will be going against some old teammates in Ned Grabavoy and Kei Kamara. Those two are no longer in Columbus because they were left unprotected in the expansion draft for San Jose. And with more expansion teams on the way, Eddie Gaven is at a crossroads. Either he looks himself in the mirror and decides journeyman midfielder/forward is good enough, or he realizes that if he wanted to, he could assume the roles of some of the older guys on the team like Hejduk and Oughton when they leave. Eddie Gaven COULD be a steady presence in our midfield for years to come; he COULD be an 8-10 goal scorer. There is no doubt that he has the physical tools. But if he doesn't take his game to that next level, and if he doesn't start leaving a mark on the field (even if it's the defensive third), Gaven could be staring down a long career bouncing from team to team in the MLS.

It's go time, Eddie. One way or the other.

Finding the Space

Yesterday, Crewfighter and I were mere inches apart. More specifically, our cars were only inches away from each other, as I was parked on Summit Street next to his vehicle. And when I say "on Summit Street," I mean in the middle of the street, with my hazards on, mere inches away from both his car and possible automotive homicide.(Were Edson Buddle still in town, I would have asked Ryan for hazard pay since we were in the middle of the street in close proximity to Crew Stadium.) We found ourselves in this predicament because Ryan's battery had run down, and he needed a jump. Since Summit is a one-way street, and Ryan was parallel parked, the difficulty of the situation became exponentially awkward. I pulled my car as close as I could to his car, got out, and attempted to hook up the jumper cables.

Unfortunately, I was exactly two inches too far away.

Not a big deal. I got back in the car, readjusted it, and sent life juice to his dead Mustang. But as far as my "one-time" attempt of pulling up next to his car, I missed it by that much. In real life, you can barely miss the mark, and get a do over. But in soccer? That difference can be all it takes to seperate a win from a loss.

Last night, the Crew took yet another step towards becoming the best story of MLS 2008, beating an out-matched and out-classed KC team 2-1. And they did it by winning the game of inches.

The battle wasn't as close as the final score made it appear. The Crew were true class the first half, controlling the ball and making dangerous runs into the box. This pressure paid off when Guillermo Barros Schelotto struck his patented beautiful free kick into the penalty area, which was headed back across by Chad Marshall to the charging Adam Moffat. Moffat neatly tucked the ball into the goal through a space that was literally no bigger than the box the Adidas game ball comes packaged in. And considering Kansas Ctiy's keeper Kevin Hartman is one of the widest in the league, the fact that Moffat could poke the ball in is that much more impressive.

On the second goal, Moreno made up for not scoring in his 4th game in a row by making the first ever ninja assist in Crew history, making like Chuck Norris to roundouse the ball to a speeding Robbie Rogers. Rogers then used one deft and sure touch to sneak a ball past the lumbering skin flaps of Jabba the Hartman. If Moffat's goal was "squeezed in," how do you describe this effort from Rogers? Most humans couldn't fit a slice of bread into the slot that Robbie put the ball through. Yet, once again, the Crew sent some Adidas product rolling into the Kwik Goal, and found themselves with a big lead.

Fortunately, the inches kept working in Columbus' favor. After KC went down 2-0, former OSU player Roger Espinoza tried to cave in the orbital bone on Frankie Hejduk's cranium. No doubt, the Honduran was using his elbow to take out some furstrations being felt by his entire side. As the two were running down the sideline, Espinoza planted his opposite foot, pushed back, and drove his elbow and shoulder up into Hejduk's eye socket. An inch or two one way or the other, and Espinoza would have landed the 'bow. That would have been a blow to Columbus, as Hejduk has been the emotional leader on the field now for years, and surely would have missed some time. Instead, replays show Espinoza clocked Frankie with his triceps and hand, Frankie's face barely missing the elbow. The shot looked horrific, but caused little damage to the Captain's rugged mug. However, the blow further damaged KC's chances in the match, as Espinoza was given the straight red (or should we say "straight scarlet" for the former Buckeye?).

A game that was decided by inches, in more ways than one.

In the end, Columbus continues to inch ahead of the competition, and remains at the top of the league. Adam Moffat is inching closer and closer to starting time with the Scottish Nats, and Chad Marshall, Will Hesmer, Frankie Hejduk, and Robbie Rogers are making cases for their respective U.S. National teams as well. Last night, a few inches here or there made the difference between goals and misses, the difference between a harsh foul and a 6-week injury. Inch by inch, the Crew keep taking points. One can only hope the Crew find a way to make good on the saying "Give them an inch, and they take a mile..."

Smitty's Silly Game Preview: Kansas City

12 points in 5 matches? It's been an unbeliveable start to the season, almost as unbelieveable as a tornado sweeping you up into a world full fo singing midgets, flying monkeys, and technicolor. Let's hope the Crew can keep laying a Black and Yellow brick road all the way to the playoffs. Join me in song won't you!?!

We're off to see the Wizards! The terrible Wizards who suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

Kandas City Wizards


What you need to know:
Goalkeeper Kevin Hartman consumes 47 pounds of alfalfa per day.

New additions:
Jerseys with the name on the front as well, so people will know who they are.

Biggest holes to fill:
Insert "Kevin Hartman mouth" joke here.

2008 Prediction:
They need courage, they need heart, they need a brain. But they have plenty of Dorothies on the team. Expect the Wiz to go the way of the Wicked Witch of the West.

Match preiew here.

Game Prediction: The Crew once face a challenge at home, and once again, Alejandro Moreno plays hard for Crewfighter (podcast joke). Moreno scores in 4 straight, and the Crew go on to win this game 3-2.