Morning Afterthoughts: Dallas Ja Vous

Direct TV offers NFL fans the ability to watch every single NFL game of the season in 30 minutes or less. For fans of teams like the Dophins, Raiders, and Bengals, this proves to be a worthwhile and positive tool. With real football, however, this tool would prove useless because:

1. Soccer is too fluid to chop into a 30-minute highlight. You'd either get too much or not enough.

2. If you're going to invest 30 minutes, why not take the extra hour to see the whole game? Unlike the NFL, you can watch a complete match in less time than it takes to watch most major motion pictures.

That's why the 3 minute highlight was made for soccer. You can see the goals, the fouls, and the near misses that pretty much made or broke the match. Unfortunately, it doesn't always tell the story of who played the best, and that's OK. Soccer isn't about who plays the best each week; it's about who continues to put results on the board, regardless of how pretty it is.

And this season, the Crew should just go ahead and christen themselves the "Team of the Highlight". Columbus has been winning games in the time it takes most people to brush their teeth, or in John Carver's case, completely throw everyone in his organization under the bus.

Witness last night's game. The Crew beat F.C. Dallas with a couple of goals in response to a Jeff Cunningham goal minutes earlier. The scores came in the 37th and 39th minutes. Funny thing is, that's not the first time the Crew have pulled off this seemingly nitro-induced surge past the competition. Just 2 weeks ago, the Crew needed a mere 3-minute spurt between the 62nd and 65th minutes to dispatch of the Sister Side at home.

But it's not just the Frisco side the Crew can heat up against. Remember the 3 goals in 10 minutes they got against San Jose? Or how about 3 goals in 12 minutes against Kansas City? Granted, these microwave-like numbers have not exactly come against the best competition (combined record 18-25-23), but it is encouraging to see that the Crew have proven dangerous when the situation calls for it. When a playoff elimination is on the line, that comeback experience will come in handy, and keep the Crew braced with the hope that no matter what the clock says, until the whistle blows, they are not out of any game.

Other news and notes:

- Did anyone else know the field in Frisco has sand instead of dirt as an underlayment? Apparently, the remnants of the last Jimmy Buffet concert have not been fully removed.

- There is some debate over who the Man of the Match was. It's between Guille and Gaven, and in this case, I go with the youngster. Gaven's last two games have been the best we've seen from him in quite some time, going back to the end of last year, where he again really came on strong. Let's hope he's putting it together and becoming the player all had hoped he would be.

And yes, I thought of doing the headline "Eddie Does Dallas," but something didn't seem right about it.

Schelotto was spectacular once again, but Eddie Gaven deserves this one. Of course, better to be debating the hero, instead of the goat...

- Interesting quote from Sigi Schmid in the MLS Net postgame report. He states the Crew have never lost a game which Gino Padula started.

When informed of this, Padula said, "YYYYAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH, Maytey!"

- Seeing the F.C. Dallas "supporter's section" was just pitiful. The worst part? They've already built their stage, and still, no unified growing group of supporters. Now all that's left to offer are free beer and hookers.

- Next Saturday is Fatih and Family Night at Crew Stadium. Of course, the Crew F.O. could not have picked a better time to bring new fans to the stadium than against a team that is basically the symbolic wall the Crew will have to smash down in order to get to the Cup. This means the Nordecke should be as boisterous, loud, and offensive as we've ever seen it. What could possibly go wrong?

- Congrats to Alejandro Moreno for getting on the scoresheet against Dallas. Unfortunately, the Crew will be without his services for the Revs game, as he will once again be on international duty for his home country of Venuzuela's National Team. Damn Commies.

- By the way, kudos all around to the defense. Against arguably one of the best on-paper striker tandems in MLS (Jeff Cunningham and Kenny "Not Yet" Cooper), they gave up all of two goals in two matches. Cooper was shutout, though albeit with help from the crossbar on more than one occasion.

- With all due respect to Fados and Ruby Tuesday, I nominate Barley's Smokehouse and Brewery if you're loooking for a place to get some suds and grub. A bit on the pricey side, it's worth it for the on-site-smoked beef, chicken, and pulled pork, hand-crafted barbecue sauces, and outstanding deserts. Oh, did I mention they are indeed a microbrewery? My inner Homer Simpson is drooling.

-Finally, in a not-at-all Crew related item, did anyone get a look at John McCain's Veep choice, Sarah Palin? The governor of Alaska may not be your cup o' tea politically, but...have you seen her?



As political leaders go, outside of Nicholas Sarkozy's wife, she's gotta be up there in terms of attractiveness. I'm not saying she's hot, but I get naughty thoughts whenever the media says one of these three phrases in reference to her:

1. "Republicans are hoping voters will pull their levers for Palin in November..."
2. "Republicans have noticed a rise in their polls since the naming of Palin to VP..."

And my favorite:

3. "Insiders say McCain only recently decided to tap Palin as his VP Choice..."

Ah yes, I sometimes have a filthy mind. Apologies all around. I'm sure John McCain is honored to have such a beautiful and talented woman on his staff.

Thank you, thank you, I'm here all night.

Morning Afterthoughts: R.S.L, F.U.G, and other fun acronyms.

"OK Smitty," you might be saying. "I know what RSL is, but what the hell is "F.U.G.?"

Glad you asked, but there's no need to be upset. It's just a simple acronym that stands for "Five Unanswered Goals". After the Crew's outright domination of Real Salt Lake at Crew Stadium Saturday night, that's the number of times the Black and Gold have rippled the onion bag without anyone on the opposing side taking enough umbrage to get a goal back.

Many will ask what has sparked the Crew's sudden offensive explosion in the last 120 minutes of on-field play, going back to Brian Carrol's goal of the week against Dallas. Some will point to role players like Brad Evans and Eddie Gaven stepping up to create and finish chances. Others will offer that the two teams the Crew have scored on are not exactly defensive juggernauts. Still others may suggest the Crew are fired up about one of their own (Jeff Cunningham) getting his 100th career goal in Crew Stadium. But truly, there is one answer that links EVERY one of these goals together, and conveniently enough, it's a three-letter acronym as well:


G.B.S.

Go back and think about each and every one of those 5 goals. Schelotto had assists on 4 of them, and scored the penalty kick earned when Eddie Gaven was upended after he took a perfectly weighted pass from, well, who else but Schelotto? The object of the Nordecke's abject idol worship is making the case that he should get his first, middle, and last name inscribed on yet another trophy in his storied career. That would be the trophy MLS hands each year to it's MVP.

(Damn, this three-letter acronym column idea is working out much better than planned...)

On the goal Brian Carrol scored, Guille having eyes in the back of his head is the only logical explanation for how he found Carrol to bury his first goal in 27 years. On the free kicks, Schelotto's laser guided missles looked as though they had magnets for Crew noggins, as both Brad Evans and Chad Marshall could do little to mess up what El Melizo had set up (to their credit, they both took their opportunities perfectly.) And on the assist to Gaven and, ultimately, Evans, Guille seamlessly linked 90 yards of the field together with another beautiful pass after the defense swiftly and neatly snuffed out any thoughts of a RSL attack. And of course, when a man with 18 domestic and international championships steps over top of a penalty kick, there is little any keeper can do to deny the champ's wishes.

It's been said before, but it's never been more true: As Guillermo goes, so go the Crew. Witness the game we lost to Houston a few weeks ago. That night, Guillermo seemed snakebit, each pass he attempted either fell flat or glanced the wrong way. Shots he took were not on target. Generally, his play was just slightly off. The Crew lost 2-0.

Certainly, the emergence of Brad Evans and the resurgence of Eddie Gaven have been welcome, and the play of the defense has been much better the last few weeks. Pat Noonan will help the team over the stretch run and into the next few years. Robbie Rogers is still terrorizing the flanks, Alejandro Moreno is busting his ass on every through ball, and Ekpo will be playing with even more confidence after going toe to toe with Argentina in the Olympics. Frankie Hejduk continues to be the heart and soul of the 2008 Columbus Crew.

But make no mistake. Guillermo is the motor that will take this team as far as it can go. Fortunately, not only does Guille have the drive to get to the Cup, but he also knows how to get there. Here's to number 19.

Other stuff:

- I was sitting with a friend tonight who has been arguing with me about the usefulness of Eddie Gaven vs. Brad Evans. I have been clearly in the Gaven corner, and he in Evans'. When Gaven earned the PK, I was in his ear. When Gaven popped up a header in the box, he was in mine. When Brad Evans scored his goal, he thought he had the upper hand in the debate, until we saw the replay and noticed it was Gaven who served Evans the beautiful ball that Evans neatly and justly put away. Needless to say, the debate about which one is better is still raging.

However, the entire debate started because we were arguing about who should sit down once Ekpo returns and/or Noonan comes along. Funny thing is, I can't make a case for Ekpo over either of those guys right now. Evans is playing like a poor man's Brian McBride or at the very least, what we were hoping Adam Moffat would be doing on offense, and Gaven is playing like the Eddie Gaven that is earning $165,000. If Ekpo sees the field despite how well those two or doing, it means his form is definitely where it needs to be for the Crew to continue to push for the Supporter's Shield and the MLS Cup.

- Speaking of Ekpo, the Crew's Olympic Silver Medalist should be back in town this week. When he and Rogers left for the Olympics, we all talked about how it would be great if we could lose only one game and win two over that four game span. Instead, the Crew got nine points off three wins and are tied with New England for first place. Nice.

- The Crew have a dangerous trap game next week. Dallas is a decent team, and we're playing them in Frisco, which will no doubt be an inferno. Meanwhile, the Crew may catch themselves looking ahead to the eight games after next week's tilt, as seven will be against Eastern Conference opponents. They have a home and away with both New England and New York, go away to Chicago and Toronto as well, and will wrap up with a home game against D.C. United, just for gits and shiggles.

Fortunately, the L.A. Galaxy will be bringing David Beckham, Landon Donovan, Bruce Arena, and Eddie Lewis's Massive head wound to Crew Stadium as our lone Western Conference opponent after Dallas. Yippee.

- There was some discussion of how much fun it might be to load up on some adult bevy's and sit on the turf to watch Shrek after the game. This conversation led to an exchange where I impersonated a drunk watching the movie and saying, "Dude, that donkey sounds just like that guy from Norbit..." Trust me, it was hysterical.

- Do you think the RSL brass are watching their team get mauled at every away game and rethinking this move out of Rice-Eccles Stadium? That Concrete Plasto-Turf (TM) certainly has to provide some explanation for why they are so great at home and so terrible away from it.

- My fantasy football draft is tomorrow. I thought you all should know my team name this year is the Sons of Travis Henry, which is kind of borrowed from the Sons of Ben, but more borrowed from the fact that Travis Henry has 9 different kids from 9 differnet women. Here's to his next sexcapade resulting in twins so he can field a well-clad youth soccer team.

- Once again, the Nordecke was rocking tonight. Disappointed only 12,000 got to see the total annihilation of the Royal Utes, but the next home game against New England should be more well stocked with Crew faithful in the sitting sections.

- Finally, my apologies to anyone who reads this blog anticipating a piece of litereature from me. This past week, I was in poor form to blog. My bad, yo. My computer will have some down time as well next week, so bear with me. The hope is everything will be good to go in time for September's Massive run to the Shield and the Cup.

MLS Crewsing

It's been way too long without a minute of Crew soccer played, especially when the last match was a trainwreck. Granted, the trainwreck was facilitated by surfer suspensions, in-game injuries and the Chinese scheduling their Olympics right during the year the Crew are making their first playoff run in four years. Damn Commies.

On a quick sideriff here, have you listened to Bela Karoli, former US Women's Gymnastic coach, give his commentary on the games with Bob Costas? I think he would be a perfect replacement for Marcelo Balboa as the color commentator for Olympic Soccer. Sure he would have no idea what he's talking about, but neither does Balboa, and at least Karoli is tragically funny. Balboa is just tragic. Also, Karoli has had the balls to call out China for blatantly lying about the age of their gymnasts. I'll take that over Balboa's slobbering over every other team's athletes while skewering our own any day of the week.

Still, despite the drought of Crew action, that doesn't mean there aren't other things happening in MLS.

One of the big stories of the last two weeks is the firing/resignation of Alexi Lalas and Ruud Gullit, respectively. One was completely justified (Lalas) and one was really unnecessary (Gullit). How can anyone blame Gullit for the desparate state of affairs that Alexi Lalas was allowed to put the Galaxy in? Forget David Beckham's $5 million-a-year contract for a second. Alexi Lalas has spent AEG's money like, well, it was Real Madrid's. Landon Donovan's $900,000 contract is arguably worth it, but not at the expense of having 17 k-a-year guys playing defense and midfield. And let's not sweep Carlos Ruiz's ghastly $400,000 contract under the rug. Imagine if Sigi Schmid and Brian Bliss were allowed $1.3 million extra? We'd have a bonafide behemoth to go with Chad Marshall in the back, a true attacking mid to connect with Guille, a left back who could connect with Rodgers, and still have enough beer money for Sigi to buy all the German beer he wants. I honestly don't know if the Crew would need to spend it all. Instead, Lalas turned that money into two egotistical players, one who is having agreat season, and one who has been on the bench for most of it. And somehow, that's falling on Gullit. Makes no sense.

Cobi Jones is taking the reigns of coaching that mess out in L.A., but it seems like the moves are not getting any better. Rumors are now circulating, and appear to be confirmed, that L.A. has passed on returning defender Cory Gibbs in favor of returning midfielder Eddie Lewis in the allocation rankings. Fortunately for the Crew, Colorado snatched up Gibbs, keeping him from going to the Revs, who now hold the first allocation spot that would have belonged to the Crew. Of course the Revs appear to be wheeling and dealing, as Goff and others are reporting that Saprissa's Gabriel Badilla will be joining New England for the playoff push. He's a defender by the way.

On the Eddie Lewis thing, I guess they're thinking they'll win 6-5?

Meanwhile, there's still time in all of this for the Crew to make a move. I know, I know, Pat Noonan is here, Gino Padula appears to be practicing once again, and the Olympics will be over sooner than later, but the Crew still need to make another move, preferably for a back line defender who can play on the left (just in case, sorry Gino). And it's not just me saying that, but the ever-more-enjoyable Mike Arace from the Dispatch. According to Mitchell's article (first link in this paragraph), the Crew are trialing Brian Plotkin, formerly of the Chicago F*re, and are looking at a defender from Moldova who used to play in the Ukraine. And yes, those countries are neighboring, in case you went to public school. Don't know who it is, but there's good money in betting the nameplate will be sleeve to sleeve.

Regardless, those moves won't cut it. The Crew have until the 15th to make one more move, and I have to believe we can unload a couple of youngsters (a la Jed Zayner and Brad Evans) for a veteran stopper in the middle. After all, guys in your fantasy football league make bad trades once their season has tanked, and there are plenty of horrible decision makers in MLS (which many times does not attain the high standards of most FF leagues). Let's keep the faith that we can get a final piece on the cheap, and the Crew can make a run at the Supporter's Shield, the Cup, and stuffing it all in the face of Brian McBride.

Morning Afterthoughts - Olympic Running Diary

It's been a while since I've done a running diary. And since there's no Crew game this week, I figured I'd do one for the US - Japan match. I decided not to post until at least a day after the game, so everyone could watch without me givign away results. Enjoy!

Pregame:

Welcome to Tianjin, for the first match of the 2008 Olympics! The US men are starting three players named Michael (Parkhurst, Bradley, and Orozco), while the Japanese are starting two players with the last name "Honda". I bet they have good motors.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Does the fun ever start?


First Half:

1:46 - Apparently my shiny new Silverlight plugin does not allow me to hear the announcers commentary that went along with this game. Since it was Marcelo "Facts? Logic? What are those?" Balboa on the call, I think I'll be just fine listening only to the game sounds.


2:35 - One of the Michaels (Orozco) fouls one of the Hondas. I might type this more than once...

6:30 - Robbie Rogers tears up the left sideline for the US, and nearly draws a foul on the edge of the box. Lots of oohs and aaaahs from the pro-American crowd on that one.

8:37 - Freddy Adu attempts a backheel pass, and it fails miserably. Are we allowed to take the kid gloves off on him yet?

9:02 - Dangerous chance up the left side for Nippon, but Brad "Money Man" Guzan is up to the task and snuffs out the play before a shot is attempted.

Japan is getting better chances here, but the US is overall controlling the midfield.

10:51 - Robbie Rogers corrals the loose ball, than makes two defenders fall out of their jockstraps trying to stop him. He gets free on the edge of the box, passes to Maurice Edu, who wastes his chance. Good stuff from Robbie though...

14:03 - Another Michael (Bradley) launches a shot from 20 yards that the keeper handles with little problem. But it was a cannon ball of a shot. If he doesn't hit that right to the keeper it's a goal.

15:26 - After earning a free kick at midfield, Freddy Adu stands over the ball for 23 seconds until he decides where to kick it. Naturally, he kicks it into a gaggle of jerseys, and it's knocked out of bounds by the US.

Out of curiosity, anyone else out there think Adu is just trying to be too perfect? Instead of taking what the game gives him, he's looking for the perfect pass, the perfect opportunity, the perfect buildup. If he just pushed as hard as he could for 90 minutes, I think it would work better for him.

19:24 - Orozco gets stuck in pretty well here, and doesn't give an inch, though he concedes the corner. Nice bit if defending from him, however.

20:35 - Wow that was nice football by Japan. Off the corner, they play a little give and go, and get enough space to cross in front of and past a diving Guzan, leaving Masato Morshige with the ball at his feet at the near post with no one between him and 1-0. Unfortunately for him, he somehow tucks the ball outside of the near post, and blows his open chance.

That was great soccer by Japan all the way to the finish. If Morshige had just stood there, the ball had a better chance of bouncing off of him and rolling in that what he did with it.

21:57 - Well THAT was interesting. Rogers has the ball at midfield on the left sideline. Freddy Adu makes a diaganol run towards the left sideline from midfield. Rogers plays the ball with his right boot, thus causing it to tail away from Adu and out of bounds. Immediately, Adu screams back to Rogers "Robbie, Robbie...the inside of your LEFT foot!" (I can hear this because there is no match commentary audio, just the field mics.)

And you know what? Adu is right. Robbie could have and should have played that with his left. Good job by Freddy for being a bit of a coach there, whether his age warrants it or not.

23:45 - The US is pressing here, but they end up bunching up and giving away a foul to Japan. Not very pretty, boys...

27:55 - Another dangerous cross for Japan, but no one was on the end of it. Scary stuff, though.

32:14 - Robbie Rogers breaks another pair of cankles on the left side, and sends in a beautiful, near-post ball that absolutely no one gets on the end of. Dammit, McBride, where the hell are you?

Oh, you were camped out on the FAR post. My bad, OG.

32:38 - Freddy Adu gets a nice pass from Stuart Holden just outside the 18, flips it up on his knee, then nearly gets a highlight-reel goal, as he volleys it JUST over the bar. Keen stuff from him on that play.

33:17 - By the by, the Japanese keeper's kit is roughly the color of the bibs roadcrew workers have to wear. If his kit could talk, it would be shouting at us.

39:31 - After a Freddy Adu foul, Japan plays a quick restart, and Atsuto Uchida gets behind the US defense. His cross to Hiroyuki Taniguchi is thwarted by Marvel Wynne, who was the one who sent the nice ball up the field to spring Adu just a few seconds before.

Also, the name "Marvel" has only boldened my stance that the first child I have will be named "Top Cow".

40:38 - Good God...

On the ensuing corner kick, the ball bounces to Adu, who attempts to clear. His clearance is stopped by a Japanese defender, who gets the ball to Uchida, who once again finds Taniguchi alone in the box. His header, though, once again does not find the net. And though I can't see the flag from the camera angle, the replay clearly shows two of the Nippon offside. Whew...

Extra time - Strange way to end the half. Japan earned a corner kick, and as they were aligning themseves, the ref blew the whistle before the corner could be taken. Usually you see them let the play happen and then call time. Ah well.

Halftime 0-0

2nd Half:

46:29 Marvel Wynne does his best Frankie Hejduk impresonation, and blazes up the right hand side, sending in a cross that's deflected out to an unmarked Stuart Holden at the top of the box. Holden fires at keeper Shisaku Nishikawa, who can't handle the shot, and it scoots in for a

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

It was poor play by the keeper, but we'll take it. 1-0 US.


50:48 - After losing possession in the midfield, Freddy Adu takes a stab at one of the Japanese players' ankles, resulting in a booking. We can again hear Adu, and he says "One foul? You're gonna book me after one foul?" Well, Fred, there was more than one...

63:55 - Japan nearly levels, as Yuto Nagatomo crosses into the box, Keisuke Honda just misses getting any part of his face on the ball. Man, the US is trating Brad Guzan like a piece of wet laundry out there.


65:50 - Freddy Adu carries the ball across the corner of the 18 yard box, and is shoved with two hands from behind. Even though it's in the box, there's no call. Unbelieveable...

72:51 - Honda just received a yellow for Japan for a hard and late tackle on Robbie Rogers. Robbie is grabbing the ankle, I'm hyper-ventilating. Fortunately, he hops up and seems to be OK.

Also, Japan just subbed in a player named Toyoda. So on the field, we've got two Hondas and a Toyota. We're an Ichiro Suzuki away from having my uncle's garage.

73:34 - Novak decides to sub out McBride, who's done nothing all game, for Jozy Altidore. Also, apparently the number "1" on the front of McBride's jersey got ripped off, because he looks like number 7 from the front, even though the back of his jersey says 17. Wonder if the jerseys were made in China?

76:35 - Takuya Honda is booked for fouling Altidore on a breakaway up the sideline. Upon further review via replay, it looks like Honda was boooked for grabbing Altidore's junk and pulling like he's trying to start a lawn mower.

80:24 - Shaking off the foul, Altidore creates a good chance, getting in on the keeper, but at a very poor angle. I know McBride is on the team, but why are we not starting Altidore?

82:10 - Stuart Holden gets a nice ovation for his efforts and goal as he is taken off for Benny Feilhaber. Good move by Novak to add Feilhaber here.

86:12 - There's a little karmic Zen weirdness for ya. Robbie Rogers gets subbed out for none other than former Crew mate Danny Szetela. Robbie took some knocks, hopefully he's OK. He too got a standing ovation when he left.

Out of curiosity, are we always going to have to call these guys by their cutesy nicknames? When will they be men? Daniel Szetela? Bob Rogers? How about Benjamin Feilhaber, or Fred Adu? The only one show should get to do the ending sounding like "y" thing is "Stewie" Holden, and that's just for the Family Guy reference.

88:48 - Brad Guzan gets a yellow for wasting time. Not so hot if he gets another one of those...

And that's it!!! Final: U.S. 1, Japan 0. MOTM is probably Holden or Rogers. Not pretty, but this was a game the US needed if it wants to advance.

With Nigeria and the Dutch playing to a tie, it's going to be an interesting group stage. The Natty lights take on the Netherlands this Sunday morning with a chance to seal a birth into the next round if we win. Pretty big "If" though, as this Dutch side is LOADED. The game is at 7:30am. Well, at least we got the late game...

Morning Afterthoughts: Lack of Depth Sinks Crew

I really don't have much to say about the Crew's 2-0 loss on Saturday nightn, other than the obvious. The Crew lost because of poor finishing, poor defense, and a ton of players missing, due to callup, suspensions, and injury. With both teams at full stregth, I'm sure the Crew would have fared better. And yet, they could have tied or won that game, had they hit on a few of the sitters that were missed. Ah well.

The Good: Guille, Gaven, Peterson, Zayner, Moreno.

The Bad: Iro, Marshall's injury, Evans misses, Moreno's misses, Guille's misses.
I was going to say "Sigi's subs" here for not bringing on Garey until the 70th minute; but when two of your subs get burned due to injury, it throws the plan out the window.

The Ugly: How did Nate Jacqua stay on the field after this tackle?



Tell me how that is not a red card? Also tell me how he didn't get his 2nd yellow 10 minutes later when he hit Iro with his studs in the thigh a full second after the ball had been played? Meanwhile, Steve Lenhart watched and put his head in his hands.

But insted of belaboring the obvious, I want to change gears. The Crew are sitting at a weird point in the season. They are off for a week, then come back but won't be at full strength, unless the US and Nigeria can't make it out of their group stage at the Olympics. Then we play Dallas twice in three weeks (Houston and Dallas roadtrips in August? Gee, thanks MLS Scheduling Computer...) before heading into the most important stretch of our season, where the final nine of eleven games are against the Eastern Conference.

Menawhile, the transfer window for MLS closes on August 15th. Do the Crew need help? Should we trade someone? Splash some international cash? Kidnap Pat Noonan and drag him back to Columbus in Crew Cat's Van? And if any of that happens, who would the Crew be looking to replace?

Just for the heck of it, I'll list the positions, the players who play at each, and a percentage of confidence I have that the Crew cannot find someone who will perform better at their salary, thus showing us who is expendable. Of course, most of these salaries are guaranteed by now, so it's not like we can just cut someone and keep their money. Still, it's interesting to see what the Crew are getting for their money.

For example, I don't think we're going to find someone who will perform any better than Lenhart while being paid $12,900. It's the league minimum, so at best, we could maybe find someone as good as he is for that price. So I have 100% confidence we can do no better than Lenhart in his situation. Same goes for a high-salaried player like Guille, who has shown over the course of a year and a half that he is a leader and true engine on this team. We aren't going to find someone who is a guarantee to perform like he has been.

However, someone like Nico Hernandez, who was making 100k and riding the pine? Well I have little doubt the Crew can and in fact will do better than him before things are said and done, seeing as how they have already released him. But even when he was here, I know for sure I could do exactly what he did for $100,000: sit on my ass and barely make an impact when brought into the game.

Forwards (And Guille)
Guillermo Barros
Schelotto $375,000 - 100%
Alejandro Moreno $131,000 - 80%
Steven Lenhart $12,600 - 100%
Jason Garey $60,625 - 60%
Geroge Josten $12,600 - NA

I feel fairly confident of all of these guys. Though I note we could do better than Garey, that's mainly just because we have two guys (Rogers and Lenhart) who have performed better and make less money. I like his heart though as well as his ability he showed us in the Colorado game, and don't truly view him as expendable. Josten, since he's seen no time on the field, doesn't rate at all. But our forward situation, does not seem to be a problem area.

Midefield
Emmanuel Ekpo $123,000 - 70%
Robbie Rogers $57,500 - 99%
Eddie Gaven $165,000 - 40%
Brad Evans $33,000 - 80%
Brian Carrol $126,000 - 70%
Stefani Miglioranzi $84,200 - 70%
Duncan Oughton $75,000 - 30%
Andrew Peterson $12,900 - 90%
Cory Elenio $12,900 - NA
Kevin Burns $12,900 - NA

At $165,000 Gaven is always going to get looked at. I don't want to see us lose him, as he's only 21, and has looked good since coming back from injury. But for the purposes of this argument, $165,000 is an awful lot of money, and it seems as though for the money, there must be someone better than present-day Gaven. And in case you're wondering why Gaven gets paid so much, consider that the Crew are paying a contract negotiated between Gaven and the NY Red Bulls. The man in the Red Bulls FO who OK'd the deal? Alexi Lalas.

And yes, as much as we all love and respect the Kiwi, Duncan Oughton just flat out doesn't have it anymore. $75,000 could go a long way towards finding some help in a midfield that has truly missed Adam Moffat.

Defense

Chad Marshall $148,000 - 90%
Frankie Hejduk %175,000 - 70%
Andy Iro $53,500 - 70%
Danny O'Rourke $69,000 - 70%
Gino Padula $145,000 - 20%
Jed Zayner $43,800 - 60%
Ezra Hendrickson $72,000 - 10%
Ryan Junge $12,900 - 90%
Ryan Miller $12,900 - NA

If Gino could play left back, he's worth whatever we can pay him. But since he hasn't proven to be healthy yet, I don't know that we should be paying a guy that much to ice his knees. No one can predict an injury, of course, but the fact that he had only played in 6 games over a 2 year period might have tipped us off. And yes, for $72,000 I could buy a stack of bricks to set on the field that would play better defense than Ezra Hendrickson. You're telling me that the Crew couldn't spend that $210,000 on a sturdy anchor at center back?

GK
William Hesmer $70,000 - 100%
Andy Gruenenbaum $33,000 - 90%

Just for point of reference, San Jose is paying Joe Cannon $213,000 this season. Hell, Matt Reis is only making 160k! But for $70,000 the only two guys near that pay figure of any talent are John Busch ($80k) and Brad Guzan (was $103,000, but not anymore). So, yeah, I don't think we're going to find anyone better than William Hesmer for the money.

Out for season:
Adam Moffat $17,700 - 100%

Overall, this raises some interesting questions. The Crew are being fairly prudent, as Gaven seems to be the only overpaid player based on current performance. Next year, the Crew will most likely have to up the payout on guys like Rogers, Moffat, Hesmer, and maybe even Guille or Lenhart to keep them from leaving the fray. And while there has been talk of adding a Designated Player, how would that affect a guy like Guille? This is his team, and if a big name midfielder is brought in, I wonder how the new player would interact with our beloved Argentine.

Still, if there was ever a time to make a move, it's now, as the Crew have two weeks to get him acclimated into the system.

So what do you think? Want to see the Crew spend a lot of money now to add a final piece or two to the puzzle for this year, or leave that room for next year, and go into the playoffs with what we have?