Morning Afterthoughts:1 down, 3 to go

Last night on the field, D.C. showed us all that while they may have been a let down on the field, some of their players proved they would reign supreme over the Crew players in the blogosphere. I mean, in just one 90-minute span, D.C. posted three times, while the Crew only posted once.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....HAHAHAHAHA.....HAHAHA....HEHE....*tear*....hehe....*ahem*...Ah, that felt good.

But in all seriousness, how bad must it suck to be a D.C. fan? Before the game, you have to hand over the Supporter's Shield, reaffirming that your season didn't go the way you'd hoped; during the game, your team, which had to win to get into the playoffs, butchers every chance they have, including a trifecta of posters; Brad Evans, who gets in done down on the farm, scores what one MLS coach (okay, it was his own) calls the goal of the year; Brian Carrol, who you gave away for nothing, rubs all his nastiness in your face before hoisting the same Supporter's Shield he helped you win last year.

And to top it off, after the game, you have to drive back to Fallujah, errr, Washington D.C. But hey, on the brightside, at least you didn't make like Toronto fans and parade through the streets before getting bounced from the playoffs.

Crew fans, on the other hand, found yet another thing to celebrate last night. For the first time in Nordecke history, someone named Clark Hunt not only witnessed our Massive section, but he actually compared it to a World Cup atmosphere. From Fighting Canary Orinthologist and Massive Dispatch Columnist Michael Arace's superlative column:

Clark Hunt: "At one point during the game, my brother and I were standing on the stage there and we both said the same thing: 'Boy, this is just like being at a World Cup game.' Now, it's not quite as big, but it had that same feel."

By the way, Clarkie fails to mention that right after that, both of their eyes glazed over and turned into dollar signs at the thought that the Crew could fill that stadium every week with a team this good.

Shawn Mitchell also did a bang-up job, getting the Hunt heir on record about how he feels about moving the Black and Gold:

"We think Columbus can continue to be one of the cornerstone franchises in this league. The best way to state it directly is to say that I'm confident the Columbus Crew will be playing in Columbus, Ohio, for at least the next 50 years."

That's refreshing to hear. Now, this doesn't mean I believe I'll be 76 before I hear another peep about the Crew ever packing up and leaving town, but at least we have a the Hunt who runs the show saying he's cool with Columbus. To put it another way, you could say he's "For the 6-1-4." Or that's he'd "Go Gay for the Short North" (hey, who wouldn't!?) The point here is that next season, if some idiot Toronto fan gets pippy about the Crew moving, we can point to the guy in charge of calling the movers, and remind them he's "all 'bout Bexley", or "Lusty for Linden-McKinley" (again, who isn't?!), or whichever clever voter-registering slogan you prefer.

But last night was about more than showcasing everyone's love for our Massive Banana. It was about uniting the old with the new. The Crew dropped one of it's staunchest playoff foes, making like Parkside for many Black and Gold faithful who had drunken the haterade over the last few years, believing there was no reason to come back to the first SSS in U.S. history (by the way, the healing begins the minute you call 447-CREW. Ask for Avin.) But at the same time the Crew were winning back their old fans with a D.C. smackdown, they were creating an army of new fans. When I got into work today, I had emails from multiple friends who finally made it out to their first game. They loved the goal, loved the Nordecke, and all wanted to know one thing: Has this been going on all year?

Yes, my friends, it has. And it's going to keep happening. As the Nordecke reminded it's celebrating denizens last night, "We're Not Done Yet." And that's fer DAMN sure...

OTHER NOTES:

- The guy who dressed up in the Massive Banana costume yesterday deserves a prize, or at the very least, a Crewzer. Maybe when New England comes to town (if they make it that far), we should throw him at Kheli Dube. What?

- Shoutouts need to go to Thoma Gol from the Big Soccer boards, who makes all those great banners like the "Semper Columbus" and "In It to Win It" beauties. The same laudings should be doled out to the little kid who faithfully tapes up his MLS Cup banner every week. What is he, like, eight? And yet, he's running laps around 99% of the Nordecke (Thoma excepted) when it comes to artistic ability and guts. Someone should buy him a beer. In 13 years.

- For the first time all year, I noticed the "Brad Evans, Down on the Farm" banner, which is almost directly behind the Crew bench. Someone in our section asked, "Is that new, or has it always been there?" I responded that it is indeed not new, but is from last year. I know this only because last year, I remember looking at that banner and asking "Who the hell is Brad Evans?" My, the differene a year makes.

Also, this last paragraph cost me my quotation allowance for the week. Let's see how we do for the rest of the column.

- I take great pride in the fact that when Dante Washington walks by, I don't ask who he is, or why he gets to go to the front of the Nordecke. I just smile and nod.

- Does anyone else think Patrick Crayton (the D.C. 'keeper) is kind of funny looking? I almost felt bad for him. He had Jeff Cunningham's head on Zach Thornton's body. Also, there was some high comedy when he completely fell over in agony after Male Nurse Khumalo clanged that sitter off the crossbar. People around me were asking what happened to him. His reaction looked like something Zapruder would have been filming.

- Jehrico, Blake, and myself, having exquisite taste in music, television, and all things awesome, have decided to become the official chant-writing machine of the Nordecke and Crew Supporters. We're filling this void, because without us, you might be stuck chanting how much you love "sweet Molly Malloo". God help us. Last night we came up with some strokes of genius, namely a new Gino Padula chant. It is to the tune of the "I Dream of Genie" theme song. For those of you who never experienced "Nick at Nite" growing up, it was a show about a hot genie who lived in 60's suburbia, and got away with way more exposed flesh on T.V. than one would have expected for a "family show."

Anyway, the song goes like this:

Gi-no, Gino Padula
Gi-no, Gino Padula
Gi-no, Gino Padula
BAP...BA-DABA DA BAP!

Gi-no, Gino Padula
Gi-no, Gino...(you get the idea.)

Also, Jehrico was the one who came up with the ever poignant alt-country crooner:

You can stick your can of Red Bull up your ass!
You can stick your can of Red Bull up your ass!
You can stick your can of Red Bull,
You can stick your can of Red Bull,
You can stick your can of Red Bull up your ass!

It never caught on, but if by some stroke of luck, the Energy Drinks make it to L.A., we must use it.

- Kudos go out to whoever came up with the "Frankie's Friends 2008" badges, and then passed them out for free. Unless they weren't free, in which case I DEFINITELY paid for mine.

- If the Crew don't get at least a 4-page special section previewing the playoffs, along with a season retrospective, in Friday's Dispatch, I will not be happy. Further, if 1460 the Fan doesn't mention the Crew this week, with the Buckeyes having a bye week, and the Blue Jackets dropping more points than the Nasdaq (awe snap!), I will personally kidnap Chris Spielman and torture him by making him watch the World Series, U of M highlights, and PBS. Or if I wanted him to really suffer, I could just show him a replay of the Penn State and USC games.

In stark contrast to the lack of coverage on 1460, 610 AM has a football show on Sunday Mornings. This week one of the commentators made the joke that the Crew are scoring more often than the Buckeyes. Laugh all you want, but it's really becoming true.

- Yes, I paid $25 for a Supporter's Shield t-shirt. And no, I'm not washing it until we give up the Shield. And yes, I'll be wearing it Saturday, along with my lucky Crew Banana Hammock.

- Just think, as chilly as it was yesterday, this time next year, we could be playing a home game or two in weather much colder that 60 degrees. Champions League Fever (TM)! Catch it, then take an antibiotic.

- Okay, I'll just say it. I think the Supporter's Shield looks like the Pontiac logo. Possible sponsorship tie-in? The irony here is that with an infusion of cash that a sponsorship would bring, we could afford to have a trophy that doesn't look like, well, the Pontiac logo.

- If you want to have fun, go watch the replay of the game posted on MLS Net, and listen to the D.C. broadcasters, mainly play-by-play guy Dave Johnson. Grab your favorite beverage, and have a drinking game revolving around how many times he says "Oh My..." If your drink is anything stronger than Natty Light, you'll be dead of alcohol poisoning by minute 17.

Finally, let's all just relax and enjoy this thing before Saturday, because once that whistle blows, it will be a white-knuckle ride to the finish.

Morning Afterthoughts: Crew Clinch the Supporter's Shield

The Crew facepalmed the rest of the league on Sunday.

Many times, the best moments in life are the ones that tie together just enough pieces of life to make the event special. The Kodak moment, with sun hitting on your face just at the precise moment that the wind picks up ever so slighty, is often hard to come by, and even harder to script. It's for that reason that the movie industry makes so much money; everyone wants to see the storybook ending, but not everyone gets one.

It's not often that life works out to be poetic. But Sunday afternoon and evening was one of those days for Crew fans. With the exception that the Crew did not defeat arch-rivals Chicago, more than 200 Crew fans witnessed a picture-perfect scene as the Crew drew 2-2 with the Fire to gain one point more than anyone else in Major League Soccer can this year. It is the first time since 2004 that the Crew have gained possession of the honor. The Crew also become the 3rd team in league history to hoist the trophy more than once, joining the L.A. Galaxy as the other two time winner. D.C. United has won it four times.

Even better than that, the Crew are the first multi-time winner of the Supporter's Shield to not have a city name that is commonly abbreviated (unless you listen to Jim Rome).

The Supporter's Shield was won by the Crew's dogged determination, and Guillermo Barros Schelotto's goal proved to be the point-getter the Crew needed to lock up their second piece of hardware this season. Besides the facts that the league's best supporters showed up en masse to see the team clinch the Supporter's Shield, and that the league's probable MVP scored the goal that sewed it up for the Crew, consider these other coincidences that make for interesting thought:

* The Crew beat the current team of Brian McBride, who got to see up close and personal what he's missing by not playing for his old team.

* The only player who could seem to beat the Crew defense today is the guy who leads the team all-time in goals scrored.

* With the Crew's tie, they needed the Houston Dynamo to tie or lose to clinch. The team that helped the Crew to that end? None other than one team more responsible than any other in the league for causing the Crew undue misery over the years: D.C. United.

* The keeper who was bested by the Crew today? Former Crew keeper John Busch.

* The Crew clinched just hours before Columbus Day.

The team played admirably, although at times, it seemed as if they were conserving energy. Both goals conceded to Chicago were soft, but seeing as how Chicago blew some well earned chances, the game probably saw a fair result in the end. Still, both Columbus goals were class, and it looks as though whenever the Crew have their heads in the game, they will not be beaten.

The Supporter's Shield is officially handed over at the Supporter's Summit at MLS Cup every year, but in the spirit of Kodak moments, that game just happens to be against the team that currently holds the trophy, D.C. United. Seeing as how they've already done us one favor, I don't suppose it's too much to ask for them to drop it off early. After all, it's not like they're using it...

Other Notes:

- Me and my brother and my brother's wife all decided to check out the official away game headquarters of the Crew, Brewskie's Sports Bar on Kenny Road. Unfortunately, we picked the one week of the year that the game was on Telefutura, a channel the bar didn't have. Although the game was also carried locally on ONN, the bar did not have that channel either, as it is only available as part of Time Warner's digital package, which the bar did not have. So where did we have to go to watch the game?

Buffalo Wild Wings on Bethel, the former home of the Crew away game viewing parties until the location switched to Brewskie's this season. Yep, seems as though no matter how much things change, they still remain the same. Lesson, as always? Go to Ruby Tuesday's on Summit and 19th for the game.

- Frankie Hejduk gets some international acclaim from this piece in London's Daily Telegraph. The article doesn't seem to think that being an everyman who gets down with his most fervent fans is such a good thing. Then again, maybe the Brits could use a guy like Frankie to qualify for an international qualifier or two...

- Kudos are due and given to Big Soccer and Ruby Tuesdays-frequenter Chris Deville, who aside from being an alright dude, also works for the Columbus Alive newspaper. His employer is pretty high on the Crew this week including stories here, here, here, and...(whew)...here. Also, the print editions of the paper have one Robbie Rogers in full-speed attack on the cover, along with the catchphrase "Massive" in bold. These papers are free, and readily available around Columbus. I grabbed 20 copies...

- Finally, congrats to the Blue Jackets, who won their first game of the season 5-4 on a Rick Nash overtime-winner. Yes, they lost the following night against the Phoenix Coyotes, but the Jackets have a very solid team this year. Should be fun to watch, kinda like the Crew.

The Nordecke Comes Alive!

With all due respect to Peter Frampton(however little that is), this is much cooler:



Kudos to anyone and everyone over at Alive who clearly gets it. Nice to see the print news doing better photo journalism than any of the television news in town.

Morning Afterthoughts: Beckham? Damn near killed him.

The mighty terrible Galaxy roared into Columbus last night, the only city that one David Beckham had not yet visited in MLS. Fitting that the man who wants to make soccer popular in the US saves his last visit for the stadium that is one of the reasons MLS was still here for him to join in 2007. And in his final debut, Beckham was rendered more anemic than his wife's appetite.

My choice for man of the match? It has to go to the four guys in the back. From Andy Iro's crazy mohawk to Chad Marshall tomahawking down any and every futile long ball sent up by the Galaxy; from Gino Padula locking down Becks to Danny O'Rourke staying remarkably solid (and creating the only goal of the night); the Galacticos ended up being engulfed by the black hole that is Crew Stadium, and specifically, the Crew's back line.

(Brian Carrol deserves a mention here, too, as he kept any attack from starting in the middle of the park.)

Yeah, Guille looked a little rusty, and Robbie Rogers should have finished more than one chance. But this is one of those games we keep talking about, the games that last year would have been lost. But this season, in front of 22,685, the Crew continued to do what they do: Win. And because of the great play of the defense, 1 goal was all the Crew needed to do just that.

Other notes:

- Rumors persist that Frankie Hejduk was at the Crew Union Tailgate before the game. While I can neither confirm or deny these sources, I can confirm that I was not at the Crew Union Tailgate. Dammit. However, I can confirm that Frankie Hejduk came down into the Nordecke last night after the game and hung out with all the cool kids. David Beckham? Nowhere to be found.

Let this be a lesson for all the little ones out there who were clad in Beckham gear and not Black and Gold last night: David Beckham clearly hates you, doesn't eat his vegetables, and is a terrible role model for you. Frankie Hejduk loves you, eats his vegetables, and is a man you should pattern your life after. Oh, and he could kick David Beckham's ass. Tell your friends.

Oh, and I was lying about the "cannot confirm" stuff at the tailgate:



- Even with OSU's comeback win over Wisconsin last night, the Crew did get some love from a couple of the local news channels. Granted, they both led with the Buckeyes, and the talk about the Crew game started with shots of David Beckham. Still, here is a brief summary of the news coverage of the Crew last night, ranked in order of best to worst:

1. NBC 4 - After some expected coverage of the OSU game (2-3 minutes of the sportscast), the Crew got just as much time, and there were interviews with Ale Moreno and Robbie Rogers, including Moreno's gem, "Themy may have come to see Beckham, but they saw us get three points instead." Classic.

Then, Omar Ruiz introduced a 2-minute long package that focused just on the Nordecke, giving props to all three sections, including a Frankie Hejduk shot in the section, partying with the the best supporters in MLS. Omar Ruiz chant next week, anyone?

2. 10TV HD - After 4 segments of "Wall-to-Wall Sports", Dom Tiberi and Dan Fronzack did mention the Crew game, and showed a couple of highlights. They also said the Crew were close to locking up homefield advantage in the playoffs. Not bad, but cleary disporportionate to the Buckeyes coverage. No mention of the Shield.

3. Newcenter (Channel 6) - When I turned off my TV, after watching both of the other news stations, Newscenter still had Anthony Rothman and Dimetrius Stanley doing Buckeye Football Fever. I don't even think they'd started the news yet

- Did anyone else get just the tiniest bit freaked out when Brian Carrol went down in a heap? For me, it was a good reminder of how valuable BC is to this team. I'd really like to see the Crew lock up the shield next weekend, so we can start focusing on keeping everyone healthy for the playoffs.

- Nice job by the guy controlling the Crew fireworks last night. After Robbie Rogers hit the side netting in the first half, fireworks were launched prematurely into the air, spoiling the pleasant surprise we would have had if they had gone off at the appropriate time. That's what she said.

Finally, with the Crew's win and New England and Chicago's ties, Columbus has homefield advantage through the playoffs. And with a win in Chicago, on Columbus Day, The Massive Canary Bananas would lock up the Supporter's Shield.

You going?

Smitty's Silly Match Preview: Los Angeles Galaxy

Celebrities are made every day on the internet, whether it be by doing a spot-on impersonation of Sarah Palin, or by playing Dragon Force on Guitar Hero 3 while blindfolded, or by taking a picture a day of yourself for a year. Face it, when we hear the word celebrity, starlets like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie take away from the true meaning of the word. A real celebrity is someone who can hold an audience of thousands in utter awe, someone who causes grown men and women alike to stare when they walk in a room, someone whose face on a billboard can sell a bag of crap with rusty nails poking out of it. A real celebrity can travel to multiple countries, and get a table whenever he wants it, wherever he wants it.

With all these fake celebrities running around, it'll be refreshing to finally see a REAL celebrity on the field Saturday night in Crew Stadium:



Wait...who did you think I was talking about?

GAME 27 - LOS ANGELES GALAXY



What You Need To Know: Bruce Arena says that soccer in the midwest is a "circus", which many people though was a slam on Middle America. In reality, he was just trying to say that Cuahetemoc Blanco is a grade-A clown.

New Additions: Eddie Lewis was brought in so some of the lesser-paid players could use his AARP discount at the local Dennys.

Chances Of Making The Playoffs:About as real as Posh Spice's Sweater Puppies (TM).

Topical Insult Of The Week: "Hay all you Galaxy fans! Maybe the government will send you a rescue package to save your season!"

Or, if you're less sensitive:

"Even though they found Steve Fossett's remains, rescuers are saying there is no hope of finding Alexi Lalas's resume anywhere for the next 12 months."

What, too soon?

Crew Notes:

- Coach Sigi Schmid and Captain Frankie Hejduk will not be able to stalk the sidelines and lead the team into victory, after getting thrown out of last week's match. Look for Sigi to be hanging out at the concession stands. As for Frankie? He'll be putting new meaning into the phrase "going on a beer run..."

- New song this week for the Nordeck (to the tune of "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls)-

If you wanna make the playoffs
You've gotta play some D
Landon cannot win it
If you lose 4-3

If you wanna make the playoffs
It's not a likely dream
But you can always root for
A F***ing Massive Team!

Match preview here.

Prediction: Gino Padula makes mincemeat of David Beckham (best matchup of the year, for me), Andy Iro and Chad Marshall punish Lando Cal Prissycakes, and California Boys Robbie Rogers and Chad Marshall make Bruce Arena wish there was a fence around Cali, as they score in the Crew's 3-0 walk.

What Happens in Columbus, Stays in Columbus?

Columbus Crew Anti-Vegas Shirt by smithnwesson
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In case you missed it, all the Crews in Crewville are talking about this article from the Sports Business Journal, which basically says a portion of the Crew is being sold by Hunt Sports Group. Here's what we know:

- Big Soccer lit up like a Christmas tree when the news first hit.

- Crew GM Mark McCullers posted on the Crew's official blog, the Black and Gold Standard. He states the team is not moving.

- John Warner, President of HSG, flew in to Columbus to talk with the team, and speak with Shawn Mitchell in yesterday's Dispatch. Warner states repeatedly the team is NOT moving. He cannot point to any one reason why, nor provide any assurances when asked to do so.

- The guy who is in charge of the group that wants to purchase a portion of the Crew is named Mark Noorzai. Noorzai is also linked with a group looking to bring the MLS to Las Vegas, along with a proposed $500 million-dollar stadium/casino complex.

- A group called "The Team: Sports, Entertainment, Media" is supposedly a Columbus- based group who are helping broker a deal for the Noorzai group. This group was not mentioned by Mr. Warner yesterday, and only came to light in the last 24 hours.

- Paul Caliguri, of Pert Plus and lawsuits against MLS fame, is one of the spokesmen for the Noorzai group, though which group he is speaking for has not been determined. He also is the one who may have let the cat out of the bag a little early in this case.

- Big Daddy Don Garber, Commish of MLS, has said he won't comment because the Crew moving or staying "is not a league issue." Garber comes through for us again!

- Michael Arace penned a whole heap of awesome in this article today.

My take? The Crew need local ownership, and no matter if the Hunts nix this deal, or it goes through, that won't change. We need to start a grassroots campaign to find some people here in Columbus that can take an interest in the team and put down the roots to show MLS we're not going anywhere. Let's draft Brad Friedel, Dante Washington, Eric Clapton, and Bobby Rahal to get an ownership group off the ground that can keep the Crew in Columbus.