Massive Photos: The Crew Return Home

The 2008 Columbus Crew returned home from MLS Cup, with the MLS Cup, and a bunch of bags under their eyes, only to meet a gaggle of supporters, news media, and other random people with extremely nice cameras. As one of those latter groups, I took it upon myself to snap some shots, here's what I got:

It was a very "special" win for this guy...

Some of the Supporters on hand.

And a few more.

Mayor Michael Coleman helped Crew Assistant(?) Coach Robert Warzycha bring the Phil F. Anschutz trophy home to Columbus. No word on if Mayor Coleman's wife was able to get her wish of filling the entire thing with Margarita Mix.

The fact this man can stand after the beating he took this season is commendable. Alejandro Moreno os a tough son of a gun...

"OMG Danny, someone is taking your picture...or maybe they're taking mine?"

Eddie Gaven, minus beard, signs autographs for Crew fans with facial hair.

He's fast, he's quick, his hat is made of knit...

Emmanuel, Emmanuel....

Mayor Coleman, a man of the people.

"Why the hell is 'Lost' coming back for another season? And shouldn't it technically be called 'Found'?"

Bob Rifle explains to the Mayor why he feels gun control is a bad idea.

Brad Evans...we're all crossing fingers for you in the expansion draft...

Mohawk, Ipod, Pillow. Andy Iro is set for whatever life throws at him, such as random naptime, or pillowfights with Mr. T.

Gino Padula actually broke a sweat carrying this thing around...

...so Ekpo and Junge came to the rescue.

The Polish Rifle talks to the local journos. Is this a sign of things to come?

And on that day, the Lord Jesus Christ, the God of Heaven and Earth, descended upon the earth and decreed that his f...oh wait, it's Frankie Hejduk.

Parting shot. I bought 15 of these by the way...

Morning Afterthoughts: We Are the Champions

Have you ever been a part of something so flawless? That thought resonates as I look back on what today became the Crew's 2008 Championship Season, a phrase that I am still not used to, and in fact, am skeptical of actually uttering out loud. For 13 long years, the Crew have run into every conceivable way of losing, coming up short, or missing it by the Max Smart standard of "that much." Crew fans have become masters of acceptance, especially in the art of finding hope in a situation that ended less than perfectly. Mostly, we have come by this trait naturally; after all, in the evolution of MLS, Crew fans sometimes felt as if we were stuck in the primordial goo while watching other species transform into contenders. Eventually, as we underdeveloped neanderthals continued playing in the muck, we stopped viewing the situation as it was, and rationalized an acceptance of a less than perfect situation.

In other words, yeah we suck, but we're not THAT bad...

But today Crew fans can finally say we root for the best, in every blessed sense of the world. Even by Hollywood's tired and cliched standards, the Crew's 2008 season would be tough to script. The team that missed the playoffs last year turned everything around. We won MLS Cup, the Supporter's Shield, and the Eastern Conference Championship; we had the Coach and Defender of the Year, as well as the MVP, who coincidentally won the MVP for the biggest game in Columbus Crew history; we have the loudest fans in MLS, who got to witness the Crew dispatch of DC, KC, Chicago, and New York in their playoff run; we saw longtime veterans like Frankie Hejduk and Duncan Oughton finally get the hardware their careers deserved, while the former fittingly scored the exclamation point on the season; The Crew scored the first and last goals in MLS this year, all the while saying "We're Not Done Yet". It's one thing to win it all, but it's another to do it in style. While some wondered if the Crew could have their cake and eat it too, most diehards Crew fans were caught saying, "You mean there's been a cake here all this time?" Yes, Columbus, there is a cake, and you can have it all.

To say the Crew dismantled New York is not really fair. Juan Carlos Osorio, Juan Pablo Angel, Dave Van Der Bergh, and any of the multiple-name Red Bull players gave their best effort, which looked as if it could have possibly been good enough to break most any other team in MLS. But the Crew weathered the storm that was the first 20 minutes of MLS Cup, and by the 30th minute, were putting the first tally on the board, thanks to the tireless legs of Alejandro Moreno. Note, I didn't say they were "fast" legs, just tireless. The Red Bulls came out in the 2nd half and tied it up, yet the pixels on the Home Depot Center message board had barely flickered the change in score before it had to be reset again, as Chad Marshall literally ran into a Schelotto corner missle, and redirected it over (or possibly through) a helpless Danny Cepero. Ironic that the Defender of the Year ended up scoring the final game- winner of the year for the Crew, what with all the kerfuffle over such stars like Schelotto, Moreno, and Rogers. And in case anyone was left in doubt about who was truly the class side, Guillermo Barros Schelotto gave everyone witness to the magic act he has been performing at Crew Stadium all season. His deft chip/flip/lob shot found Frankie Hejduk alone with the suddenly over-matched Cepero, and the MLS veteran gave no reason to doubt his ability to finish, nor that the Red Bulls would be going home with anything other than nice parting gifts.

The memory of Frankie's Tally will live in infamy for New York fans, but will be celebrated by the Nordecke and Crew fans around the country for decades. It was a fitting description of the year that was for the Columbus Crew - a small chance that turned into something magic. This is your Columbus Crew, Champions of Major League Soccer. In every sense of the word, this season was perfect.

Photo of the Year (until next weekend...)

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Columbus Crew have given you the coach of the year, and may just have the player of the year, goal of the year, and team of the year. But they can also add that they were participants in the photo of the year, courtesy of Jay LaPrete/AP:



McBridesmaid had a milkshake. Chad Marshall grabbed his straw. Busch could only watch.

Morning Afterthoughts: Better than Ever.

The Nordecke has never been bigger, and the Crew have never been better. Coincidence?

(phot0s courtesy Sam Fahmi)

You know, some of us just are not right in the head. Some of us wear the same clothes to every match because it's good luck. Some of us plan our social and work calendar around an MLS schedule. Some of us spend half our paychecks following this team. And after the Crew's first ever advancement to MLS Cup last night, some of uswere shedding tears of joy.

For those of you who may find the thought of a grown man crying over a soccer game, allow me to give you a proper introduction to the psychology. Do you recall your frame of mind after watching Brian McBride score in the 29th minute? Did the sick feeling creep into your stomach when McBride, of all pople, scored what could have been the dagger in an otherwise magical season? If so, you've felt on some level what it has been like to be a Crew fan these past 13 seasons. Because there is no team in MLS that has had as many great seasons go down the tubes because of a missed opportunity in a crucial game, often in ways that cause sane heads to be scratched. For brevity's sake, I won't recap them here, but as any longstanding Crew fans know, the Crew just don't win games like last night. In fact, for many of us, the last 30 minutes of the game were the longest 30 minutes of recorded human history. But they led to one of the greatest nights in Columbus history. And one of it's best parties.

I don't always record a Man of the Match, but today, I and thousands of other Massive Bananas owe a debt of gratitude to the man who made it happen last night:

CHAD MARSHALL

Even many of us were bemoaning the lack of fouls being called by referee Terry Vaughn, it became clear that Chad Marshall would have a very good night. Marshall is one of the most tactical defenders in MLS, and rarely gets whistled for fouls. Still, the penultimate matchup in last night's game was bound to be between Marshall and McBride, two players who are strong in the air. And if Marshall was going to win that battle, he was going to need to be physical.

To say he abused McBride is putting it nicely. Certainly McBride got a cheap goal on a broken play created by a heads-up quick throw in by Blanco; Hesmer and Danny O'Rourke didn't help matters by assuming the other would get to the ball as the aerial McBride did what he does best. But outside of that play, McBride was hardly a danger to the Crew, thanks to Marshall's hounding And how many times in the 2nd half did we see the familar sight of a ball going toward the Crew defense, only to be gobbled by Marshall or another Crew defender, and turned right back up the field for a counter attack? The credit for weathering that storm has to go to the outstanding defense played last night by everyone, but especially Marshall.

And, do I need to remind you who brought us all back from the pit of despair with his header? Watching Marshall's goal again in HD slow motion is a thing of beauty, and the way he used his entire body to fight off his defender in the air while letting his head do all the work was damn near poetic. In all honesty, it puts one in the mind of a former Crew player by the name of McBride, who happened to be the one Marshall burned on the play.

Speaking of McBride, it is now 5 times in an Eastern Conference Final without a trip to MLS Cup. Here's hoping that his wife who convinced him to play in Chicago instead of where he belonged gets a nice bit of silent treatment for the next few weeks from McBridesmaid, the MLS all-time league leader in playoff futility*.

But the best thing about last night's win? It showed a lot of us that the Crew can do it. The city was a buzz about the Crew, and you get the sense that in some pockets of Columbus, while the interest was legit, it was salted with the doubt of previous failures. Sure many were interested, but the thinking might have been to wonder if last night would turn out like it had all the other times. To any of you who doubted (including myself, even if just a little) I am happy to report that this is not the same old Crew. To quote the oft thrown about phrase on Big Soccer, "We're as surpirsed as you are." And as any one knows, the best parties are the surprise parties. Here's your invitation.

Other Notes:

- Could the atmosphere have gotten any better last night? It didn't matter that the stands were not completely filled. The crowd who was there, soccer moms included, were the noisiest S.O.B's I've ever been around. I hope Donny Garber took note of what a real fan section looks and sounds like. Lord knows the man has "ears to hear..."

- I was hugged/kissed/groped by no fewer than 50 people after last nights win, all of whom were as shocked as I was that the Crew had just advanced to MLS Cup. And again, it's not that we're shocked that this group of guys made it there; as we've seen all year, they're a hell of a good team. But it has always seemed Columbus was cursed when it comes to winning this type of game, and last night, all of us doubters finally could put those fears to bed. It was like an Amish person being taken to Vegas in a Cadillac Escalade; we didn't know how to act, so we just stood there, with mouths wide open, staring into the vacant distance.

- There was a ton of good signage last night, and I hope we see more of the trend next season. The "Wanted. McBride. Desertion." banner was gorgeous, as were all the others. I particularly liked the banner about keeping Columbus clean, and taking out the garbage (if you missed it, Blanco called the Fire fans garbage earlier this year after a game.) We need more of that stuff, people!

- In my ongoing war with my buddy over who is better, Gaven or Evans, I received ultimate vindication last night when Eddie scored the winner. It was also just as sweet to see the man who has had so many dark days behind him at Crew Stadium get a standing ovation as he left the pitch last night. He is a runner up for me on the Man of the Match. Also, 30 seconds before he scored the goal, my brother was telling me, "We really need to take Gaven out." This comes after early in last week's game, my brother said a full-on prayer asking Jesus to allow us to score a goal soon. As soon as the words "Amen" were out of his mouth, Carroll-to-Evans-past-Hartman happened. I think both of those should count as second assists for him.

- In the tent after the game last night, there was some New England Revolution fan crowing about going to L.A. Did anyone else see this, or was I drunk?

- Since I can't leave well enough alone, I'll ask: Can the Dispatch please give us a season recap/MLS Cup preview with s special pullout section next weekend? Would that be too much to ask? They've done a fantastic job covering the Crew, but I just want a little more, please. Thanks.

In other media related news, kudos go out to 1460 The Fan, who I have often besmirched for not talking about the Crew, for finally talking about the Crew yesterday. I'll be interested in what they are saying today, as I believe some of the hosts went to the game. Also, I heard Mark the Shark on 103.9 Talk FM was giving the Crew some love, but can neither confirm nor deny this. If so, fantastic.

- In case you need some help on the travel sites, Columbus's airport abbreviation is "CMH", and Los Angeles' airport is "LAX". If you want to fly over to Chicago just to rub anything in their faces, the airport there is "SUX".

- To all the Fire fans at the game last night: It's great you brought so many flags, really. No, that was a lot of fun. Hopefully, they helped wipe away all your tears on the ride home last night. Blues Brothers indeed.

- For a final thought on this one, I'll simply let the Man of the Match, Mr. Chad Marshall, tell us what he told Craig Mertz of mlsnet.com:

"I was the happiest I've ever been. I just told somebody that," he said. "I just started running. I don't know why. It was awesome. It's been fun for me."

I don't think anyone could have said it better.

(*fact courtesy of my burgeoning contempt for McBride not playing for the Black and Gold, and not based on any actual facts.)

Never a McBride.

Sorry, I hid all the eye bleach...


Diehard fans of the Columbus Crew have a lot of nicknames for former number one man and current enemy number one, Brian McBride. To name a few -

- McHead
- BMB
- Bake
- McJudas

That last one comes courtesy of Mr. McBride's decision to spurn Columbus (that fair city on a hill), for Chicago, not only a city of mobsters, corrupt politicos, and 97 mile traffic backups, but also the home of one of the Columbus Crew's arch enemies, the Chicago Fire.

Uggh...hang on...

(MPBGHRRRRRPH!)

Sorry. Just typing those two words together in a non-historical context makes me throw up in my mouth. I don't recall eating any fish today. Curious. Anyway...

So if you've not been sufficiently caught up, McJudas came back from England, ignored Columbus' phone calls (or as his agent says, his cell phone was broken. Ooops. I'm sure it would have been working if Larissa F.C. was calling), and signed with the bad guys. The very same bad guys who come to Columbus for the Eastern Conference Finals tonight. To be sure, McBride has a high probability to gain a few nicknames from the fans during the game, based on the way he plays. Whichever way the game goes though, I can guarantee I can't print most of the things he will be called tonight.

However, if McBride and the Fire become a part of the trend that is the Crew defeating opponents at home in 2008, it will mark the fifth time in McBride's storied career that he has gotten to the doorstep of MLS Cup, knocked on the door, and been told, "Hey, sorry buddy, we're all full tonight. Try back later..."

Some will quickly point out that on all four previous occasions, McBride was a Columbus Crew cat, and did all he could to get the Crew over the hump. In fact, some will argue since McBride went on to England and had a successful stint at Fulham (or F.C. U.S.A.), it's highly probable that the Crew teams lost in spite of McBride, not because of him. All of these points are valid, fair, and well-reasoned. But there is one glaring fact that cannot be ignored if the Fire loses: a trend will have emerged. Brian McBride, during a period of time that has extended over 12 seasons and 5 professional teams, will have yet to play in a league championship game.

Maybe instead of McBride, we should call him "McBridesmaid."

I know, I know, chickens have not hatched, horses don't go in front of carts, and the "Jump" to Conclusions Mat (TM) should never be brought out before the fat lady starts warming up. Still, there's a good chance that the common thread of all the Crew losses in the Eastern Conference Finals can be traced back to one guy. And that guy, for right or wrong, isn't going to be on the field tonight for the Crew.

In all honesty, would you want him?

Look, I will be the first in line to welcome McBridesmaid back once he takes off the Best Buy jersey, and goes into the hall wearing a Columbus Crew Adidas Skully. But he's not right for this team. He would clog up the middle for Guillermo, a guy who knows a thing about championships. He would get in the way of Alejandro Moreno, one of the best holding forwards playing on U.S. soil (plus, coaches would have a hard time telling them both to stop trying to "outwork" each other). The Crew is finally playing the ball on the ground; Bake does his best work in the air. The Crew has a group of guys who know that no one person is any more important than the rest of the team. Sure, BMB knows that better than anyone, but would guys like Brad Evans and Robbie Rogers have been intimidated about playing in the shadow of the MLS poster child and EPL veteran? Maybe. Would the Crew be better off with McBride back in the fold? If the chemistry the team has is any indication, probably not. He's not a bad guy; he's just not one of the guys who everyone doubted.

But ladies and gentleman, tonight, Brian McBride IS walking through that door. Only he's walking in with the enemy. The Crew are looking at a chance to rid themselves of 12 seasons of failed aspirations by making this 13th season the one to remember. And they can do it against the guy we'd all rather just forget.

Piss on the Fire, and let’s go Crew.

(And if the Crew prevails, I will be making "McBridesmaid" t-shirts for everyone.)