MLS Crewsing

It's been way too long without a minute of Crew soccer played, especially when the last match was a trainwreck. Granted, the trainwreck was facilitated by surfer suspensions, in-game injuries and the Chinese scheduling their Olympics right during the year the Crew are making their first playoff run in four years. Damn Commies.

On a quick sideriff here, have you listened to Bela Karoli, former US Women's Gymnastic coach, give his commentary on the games with Bob Costas? I think he would be a perfect replacement for Marcelo Balboa as the color commentator for Olympic Soccer. Sure he would have no idea what he's talking about, but neither does Balboa, and at least Karoli is tragically funny. Balboa is just tragic. Also, Karoli has had the balls to call out China for blatantly lying about the age of their gymnasts. I'll take that over Balboa's slobbering over every other team's athletes while skewering our own any day of the week.

Still, despite the drought of Crew action, that doesn't mean there aren't other things happening in MLS.

One of the big stories of the last two weeks is the firing/resignation of Alexi Lalas and Ruud Gullit, respectively. One was completely justified (Lalas) and one was really unnecessary (Gullit). How can anyone blame Gullit for the desparate state of affairs that Alexi Lalas was allowed to put the Galaxy in? Forget David Beckham's $5 million-a-year contract for a second. Alexi Lalas has spent AEG's money like, well, it was Real Madrid's. Landon Donovan's $900,000 contract is arguably worth it, but not at the expense of having 17 k-a-year guys playing defense and midfield. And let's not sweep Carlos Ruiz's ghastly $400,000 contract under the rug. Imagine if Sigi Schmid and Brian Bliss were allowed $1.3 million extra? We'd have a bonafide behemoth to go with Chad Marshall in the back, a true attacking mid to connect with Guille, a left back who could connect with Rodgers, and still have enough beer money for Sigi to buy all the German beer he wants. I honestly don't know if the Crew would need to spend it all. Instead, Lalas turned that money into two egotistical players, one who is having agreat season, and one who has been on the bench for most of it. And somehow, that's falling on Gullit. Makes no sense.

Cobi Jones is taking the reigns of coaching that mess out in L.A., but it seems like the moves are not getting any better. Rumors are now circulating, and appear to be confirmed, that L.A. has passed on returning defender Cory Gibbs in favor of returning midfielder Eddie Lewis in the allocation rankings. Fortunately for the Crew, Colorado snatched up Gibbs, keeping him from going to the Revs, who now hold the first allocation spot that would have belonged to the Crew. Of course the Revs appear to be wheeling and dealing, as Goff and others are reporting that Saprissa's Gabriel Badilla will be joining New England for the playoff push. He's a defender by the way.

On the Eddie Lewis thing, I guess they're thinking they'll win 6-5?

Meanwhile, there's still time in all of this for the Crew to make a move. I know, I know, Pat Noonan is here, Gino Padula appears to be practicing once again, and the Olympics will be over sooner than later, but the Crew still need to make another move, preferably for a back line defender who can play on the left (just in case, sorry Gino). And it's not just me saying that, but the ever-more-enjoyable Mike Arace from the Dispatch. According to Mitchell's article (first link in this paragraph), the Crew are trialing Brian Plotkin, formerly of the Chicago F*re, and are looking at a defender from Moldova who used to play in the Ukraine. And yes, those countries are neighboring, in case you went to public school. Don't know who it is, but there's good money in betting the nameplate will be sleeve to sleeve.

Regardless, those moves won't cut it. The Crew have until the 15th to make one more move, and I have to believe we can unload a couple of youngsters (a la Jed Zayner and Brad Evans) for a veteran stopper in the middle. After all, guys in your fantasy football league make bad trades once their season has tanked, and there are plenty of horrible decision makers in MLS (which many times does not attain the high standards of most FF leagues). Let's keep the faith that we can get a final piece on the cheap, and the Crew can make a run at the Supporter's Shield, the Cup, and stuffing it all in the face of Brian McBride.

Morning Afterthoughts - Olympic Running Diary

It's been a while since I've done a running diary. And since there's no Crew game this week, I figured I'd do one for the US - Japan match. I decided not to post until at least a day after the game, so everyone could watch without me givign away results. Enjoy!

Pregame:

Welcome to Tianjin, for the first match of the 2008 Olympics! The US men are starting three players named Michael (Parkhurst, Bradley, and Orozco), while the Japanese are starting two players with the last name "Honda". I bet they have good motors.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Does the fun ever start?


First Half:

1:46 - Apparently my shiny new Silverlight plugin does not allow me to hear the announcers commentary that went along with this game. Since it was Marcelo "Facts? Logic? What are those?" Balboa on the call, I think I'll be just fine listening only to the game sounds.


2:35 - One of the Michaels (Orozco) fouls one of the Hondas. I might type this more than once...

6:30 - Robbie Rogers tears up the left sideline for the US, and nearly draws a foul on the edge of the box. Lots of oohs and aaaahs from the pro-American crowd on that one.

8:37 - Freddy Adu attempts a backheel pass, and it fails miserably. Are we allowed to take the kid gloves off on him yet?

9:02 - Dangerous chance up the left side for Nippon, but Brad "Money Man" Guzan is up to the task and snuffs out the play before a shot is attempted.

Japan is getting better chances here, but the US is overall controlling the midfield.

10:51 - Robbie Rogers corrals the loose ball, than makes two defenders fall out of their jockstraps trying to stop him. He gets free on the edge of the box, passes to Maurice Edu, who wastes his chance. Good stuff from Robbie though...

14:03 - Another Michael (Bradley) launches a shot from 20 yards that the keeper handles with little problem. But it was a cannon ball of a shot. If he doesn't hit that right to the keeper it's a goal.

15:26 - After earning a free kick at midfield, Freddy Adu stands over the ball for 23 seconds until he decides where to kick it. Naturally, he kicks it into a gaggle of jerseys, and it's knocked out of bounds by the US.

Out of curiosity, anyone else out there think Adu is just trying to be too perfect? Instead of taking what the game gives him, he's looking for the perfect pass, the perfect opportunity, the perfect buildup. If he just pushed as hard as he could for 90 minutes, I think it would work better for him.

19:24 - Orozco gets stuck in pretty well here, and doesn't give an inch, though he concedes the corner. Nice bit if defending from him, however.

20:35 - Wow that was nice football by Japan. Off the corner, they play a little give and go, and get enough space to cross in front of and past a diving Guzan, leaving Masato Morshige with the ball at his feet at the near post with no one between him and 1-0. Unfortunately for him, he somehow tucks the ball outside of the near post, and blows his open chance.

That was great soccer by Japan all the way to the finish. If Morshige had just stood there, the ball had a better chance of bouncing off of him and rolling in that what he did with it.

21:57 - Well THAT was interesting. Rogers has the ball at midfield on the left sideline. Freddy Adu makes a diaganol run towards the left sideline from midfield. Rogers plays the ball with his right boot, thus causing it to tail away from Adu and out of bounds. Immediately, Adu screams back to Rogers "Robbie, Robbie...the inside of your LEFT foot!" (I can hear this because there is no match commentary audio, just the field mics.)

And you know what? Adu is right. Robbie could have and should have played that with his left. Good job by Freddy for being a bit of a coach there, whether his age warrants it or not.

23:45 - The US is pressing here, but they end up bunching up and giving away a foul to Japan. Not very pretty, boys...

27:55 - Another dangerous cross for Japan, but no one was on the end of it. Scary stuff, though.

32:14 - Robbie Rogers breaks another pair of cankles on the left side, and sends in a beautiful, near-post ball that absolutely no one gets on the end of. Dammit, McBride, where the hell are you?

Oh, you were camped out on the FAR post. My bad, OG.

32:38 - Freddy Adu gets a nice pass from Stuart Holden just outside the 18, flips it up on his knee, then nearly gets a highlight-reel goal, as he volleys it JUST over the bar. Keen stuff from him on that play.

33:17 - By the by, the Japanese keeper's kit is roughly the color of the bibs roadcrew workers have to wear. If his kit could talk, it would be shouting at us.

39:31 - After a Freddy Adu foul, Japan plays a quick restart, and Atsuto Uchida gets behind the US defense. His cross to Hiroyuki Taniguchi is thwarted by Marvel Wynne, who was the one who sent the nice ball up the field to spring Adu just a few seconds before.

Also, the name "Marvel" has only boldened my stance that the first child I have will be named "Top Cow".

40:38 - Good God...

On the ensuing corner kick, the ball bounces to Adu, who attempts to clear. His clearance is stopped by a Japanese defender, who gets the ball to Uchida, who once again finds Taniguchi alone in the box. His header, though, once again does not find the net. And though I can't see the flag from the camera angle, the replay clearly shows two of the Nippon offside. Whew...

Extra time - Strange way to end the half. Japan earned a corner kick, and as they were aligning themseves, the ref blew the whistle before the corner could be taken. Usually you see them let the play happen and then call time. Ah well.

Halftime 0-0

2nd Half:

46:29 Marvel Wynne does his best Frankie Hejduk impresonation, and blazes up the right hand side, sending in a cross that's deflected out to an unmarked Stuart Holden at the top of the box. Holden fires at keeper Shisaku Nishikawa, who can't handle the shot, and it scoots in for a

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

It was poor play by the keeper, but we'll take it. 1-0 US.


50:48 - After losing possession in the midfield, Freddy Adu takes a stab at one of the Japanese players' ankles, resulting in a booking. We can again hear Adu, and he says "One foul? You're gonna book me after one foul?" Well, Fred, there was more than one...

63:55 - Japan nearly levels, as Yuto Nagatomo crosses into the box, Keisuke Honda just misses getting any part of his face on the ball. Man, the US is trating Brad Guzan like a piece of wet laundry out there.


65:50 - Freddy Adu carries the ball across the corner of the 18 yard box, and is shoved with two hands from behind. Even though it's in the box, there's no call. Unbelieveable...

72:51 - Honda just received a yellow for Japan for a hard and late tackle on Robbie Rogers. Robbie is grabbing the ankle, I'm hyper-ventilating. Fortunately, he hops up and seems to be OK.

Also, Japan just subbed in a player named Toyoda. So on the field, we've got two Hondas and a Toyota. We're an Ichiro Suzuki away from having my uncle's garage.

73:34 - Novak decides to sub out McBride, who's done nothing all game, for Jozy Altidore. Also, apparently the number "1" on the front of McBride's jersey got ripped off, because he looks like number 7 from the front, even though the back of his jersey says 17. Wonder if the jerseys were made in China?

76:35 - Takuya Honda is booked for fouling Altidore on a breakaway up the sideline. Upon further review via replay, it looks like Honda was boooked for grabbing Altidore's junk and pulling like he's trying to start a lawn mower.

80:24 - Shaking off the foul, Altidore creates a good chance, getting in on the keeper, but at a very poor angle. I know McBride is on the team, but why are we not starting Altidore?

82:10 - Stuart Holden gets a nice ovation for his efforts and goal as he is taken off for Benny Feilhaber. Good move by Novak to add Feilhaber here.

86:12 - There's a little karmic Zen weirdness for ya. Robbie Rogers gets subbed out for none other than former Crew mate Danny Szetela. Robbie took some knocks, hopefully he's OK. He too got a standing ovation when he left.

Out of curiosity, are we always going to have to call these guys by their cutesy nicknames? When will they be men? Daniel Szetela? Bob Rogers? How about Benjamin Feilhaber, or Fred Adu? The only one show should get to do the ending sounding like "y" thing is "Stewie" Holden, and that's just for the Family Guy reference.

88:48 - Brad Guzan gets a yellow for wasting time. Not so hot if he gets another one of those...

And that's it!!! Final: U.S. 1, Japan 0. MOTM is probably Holden or Rogers. Not pretty, but this was a game the US needed if it wants to advance.

With Nigeria and the Dutch playing to a tie, it's going to be an interesting group stage. The Natty lights take on the Netherlands this Sunday morning with a chance to seal a birth into the next round if we win. Pretty big "If" though, as this Dutch side is LOADED. The game is at 7:30am. Well, at least we got the late game...

Free Health Care Causes Brain Loss

Dear Canada,

I know usually it's intelligent, eclectic Canadians lecturing us poor, inbred Americans about how to be more multi-cultural and politically correct. The dichotomy has been in place (at least in your minds) for some time now, and I know that by writing this letter, I might very well be nudging your poorly balanced egos even further off the deep end than they already sit. However, you need an intervention.

Last night at BMO field, some of your country's "soccer fans" booed not one, but two national anthems (England and the US). In fact, some even started singing the Canadian anthem OVER the US anthem. (This has happened before by the way, specifically at Crew Stadium, where many of your fans stated they couldn't hear the singer of the US national anthem from the loudspeakers. I believed you then, but now I'm not so sure...) To add to the absurdity, today many people are trying to coddle you, and make you feel better. Somehow, despite what happened, the fans at the game are somehow the victims. Reporters are saying "there was a mixup," that the Canadians thought their anthem would not be played. ESPN has actually tried to help further, adding that they "take the blame" for the mixup, presumably because they want to try to make this all seem like a terrible misunderstanding, instead of what it really is.

A revealing glimpse into the true thinking of most Canadian soccer fans.

Instead of showing the entire soccer-viewing continent what class fans you have, Canadian and Toronto fans in specific showed that their attitude is essentially that of a whiny teen on "My Super Sweet 16." When it was thought that no Canadian anthem was going to be played, many started booing the proceedings. Some fans tried to make things more "positive" by singing over another country's national anthem. These anthems are sung by people from those countries, and the anthems can still be sung because in most cases, people died defending their country's right to have an anthem. These anthems, whether you are from the country or not, are special, because of what it took to make them. But in Toronto, these anthems are only special and to be revered as long as everyone has to sit through your anthem as well. Instead of appreciating the countries represented, the fans at last night's ASG felt that if they could not celebrate their country, then no one else should get to either. Way to roll out the welcome mat.

Many Canadians are saying it was OK to sing or boo because their anthem was not getting played. If I can ask a question...what makes Toronto fans think they are entitled to having the national anthem played at this game to begin with? I realize the game was played in a Candaian city, but unplug your fingers from your ears, and hear me out. Like it or not, MLS is a soccer league mandated by FIFA through the US Soccer Federation. The game last night was an MLS exhibition. It was played in an MLS stadium. And where are the home offices of the league? Why in the US! So, it technically makes sense that the league who is presiding over the match and fielding a team plays the anthem of the country they are based out of, just as it makes sense that they play the anthem of the country where their opponents for the night, West Ham United, are based out of.

Whether or not you like it, MLS is not based in Canada. I mean, it's just not. Trust me, if it would get you all to stopp the incessant whining, I'd vote to move it there. But for now, of the 14 teams in the league, MLS has one team in Canada, and, after incidents like last night, some of us are starting to think that's one team too many.

But already, I can hear you chiding me, calling me a hater of Canada, a xenophobe, or God forbid, a Republican. Maybe that's deserved. But if you don't belive me, you can independently verify that my idea isn't insane, or at the very least, it's not unheard of to only play the anthems of the two teams involved in a game. Just watch the Barcalona - Chivas match that will be played at Soldier Field in Chicago in a few weeks. I can guarantee the two teams countries anthems will be played. But I wouldn't bet five bucks that the US anthem will be played, even though the event is taking place in the US. It would make no more sense to play the US anthem than it would for every nationality represented on the two sides to be played, since certainly not all Barca or Cheevus roster members are Spaniards and Mexicans.

For further observation, at a major league baseball game, do the play the Dominican Republic, Venezuela, or Korean national anthems? Oddly, they only play the songs of the home coutries of the two entities involved.

Toronto should be happy to be included in the proceedings, thrilled that MLS is honoring you with one of the league's focal point matches. Yet not only do you not appreciate this gesture of goodwill, Canadian soccer fan, you get pissy and throw a fit after 5 seconds of a perceived injustice at a game that is literally the biggest bone MLS can throw you. On top of that, if the fans could have waited for 5 minutes, they would have seen the league continue to bend over backwards to make their anthem the focal point of ESPN's opening TV coverage. With skin this thin, I'm not quite sure how you are going to react to getting bitch-slapped into giving up the rights for Brian McBride, but I can be fairly certain it will end with a lot of crying and people once again making exceptions for you. Kind of like the kid in school who poops his pants, but he's retarded, so it's OK.

Thankfully, when Columbus has one or two boneheads that do something backwards and ignorant (like utter a racist slur or fight), the rest of the world is disappointed because there is the perception that we ARE better than that. But Toronto? Hey, c'mon, don't blame them, it's not their fault. They live in Canada, where everyone has...what...a massive inferiority complex? Why does everyone make exceptions for you?

In closing, we all know you think you are MLS's saviors, the only fans who care about your team, the fans upon whom all other fans should gaze to glean from the wisdom dripping off your brows. But incidents like the one from last night only show how far many of you really have yet to go.

Gut Check for Garber

If you missed the Open Cup between DC and Chicago this week, you missed a firecracker of a game. While DC advanced to the next round, they were nearly beaten to death by the Chicago Fire's hacking, flailing, no-talent club that is getting worse by the second.

Here are the highlights, assuming MLS isn't stifling the freedom of the press:



Fist, you'll note John "I'm getting beat by 74 year-old Jaime Moreno" Thorrington absolutely clobber High May from behind, which should have drawn straight red. Instead, because USSF-sanctioned refs are terrible, he merely saw yellow. What Thorrington did would be enough to be tied up and shot in some parts of the world. Here? He gets to finish the game...

But all hell broke loose when the Hunchback of Nacho Libre (Blanco) punched DC's Clyde Simms in the gut while trying to get him to let go of the ball (I guess?). A scuffle ensued that allowed Marc Burch to shove Blanco to the ground, at which point Blanco jumped up and attempted to gouge Simms eye. Fortunately, the ref did agree to let Blanco see red, which in turn only escalated the problem. Reportedly, Blanco spit on one of the officials, headbutted a DC team official, and threw a streamer.

Don Garber asked for the tape on that third one.

Those accusations have led the Chicago Fire Vice President of Communications Craig Elkin to give the following "account" of what Blanco did:

"[Blanco] did stop at the bench to pick up whatever and the guy got on him, and when he turned to leave, his forehead did graze the cheek or jaw area," Elkin said.

That's right ladies and gentlemen: you can all rest easy, as Craig Elkin has assured us that Blanco merely let his forehead graze the cheek or jaw area of a DC official. What, did they cuddle afterwards? Who paid for dinner? Does Blanco put out?

But at least Elkin did something to acknowledge a situation that actually happened. Don Garber hasn't said more than two words on the matter, nor has putz in training, Ivan Gazidis. Honestly, can't you picture both of them hiding under their desks at MLS HQ, texting each other on whether or not it's safe to come out yet? Even though the inssue involves their players, the sad reality is that no one really knows what MLS is going to do about this situation, because:

1. It was an Open Cup game, and thus, not an MLS-sanctioned match.
2. Blanco makes the league a lot of money
3. Don Garber seems to change his mind each week on what the rules are, so no doubt, he has plenty of room to play with this MLS-team-in-a-non-MLS-match.

Fortunately, USSF, which would technically have oversight of MLS, is looking at the tape, and will hopefully sit Blanco down or at least fine him a good chunk of change. But in my mind, the league has to send a clear message that they will not tolerate this behavior from their players. How can you not suspend a player for taking a swing at another player? What if he had actually connected to a less protected area, like the face or groin? Part of Blanco's salary is on MLS's books (the majority is paid by the Chicago ownership group, since he is a designated player), so he should be held accountable as a league employee, let alone as one of it's most visible representatives. If I'm the face of a big corporation, and I punch someone in a barfight, doesn't it make my organization look bad? Shouldn't they have to do something to me to keep the stock holders happy?

Well, MLS doesn't have stock holders. They have a group of fans who want to see the league rise to new heights. And one of the players MLS purposefully hitched their wagon to has a known history of violence against players and the media, and he is acting out again. The league must act firmly and quickly.

But my guess is that MLS will throw all their "Fair Play" objectives under the rug, and let Blanco waltz right onto whatever pitch he wants to until the season is over. We've already seen how they bend the rules for certain teams (L.A.) who are making money for the league. Certainly, any lenience Blanco receives is due as much to the fact that he sells a lot of jerseys and tickets as anything else. Money talks, and Don Garber has the spine of a jellyfish; I'd expect Blanco to wear brass knuckles on the field and get them spit-shined by the 4th official.

Imagine if David Stern was the Commisioner of MLS. Stephen Jackson and Ron Artest know all to well how he treats situations like this.

Once again, MLS has a chance to show they are a legit league that has a structure and a set of rules that don't change based on the name on the back or front of your jersey. They could show everyone that they are cracking down on rough play, and not making special exceptions for certain players. Instead, the league will most likely, in trademark fashion, send out a press release around 5pm on Friday that says they "harshly condemn" Blanco's actions but will not sanction him for it. Or they'll say nothing at all.

Either way, MLS loses. Too bad Blanco will have to miss the opening round of the U.S. Open Cup in 2009. I'm sure he's learned his lesson.

On the bright side for Crew fans, if I'm Brian McBride, do I really want to be anywhere near that cancer-riddled locker room for my reunion tour? We've still got a locker for ya in Columbus, Brian. Don't take the dust covers off of the couch and chairs in the Chicago home just yet.

Padulla Officially on the Roster, So' Scores for Reserves

It's all in this week's Weekly Crew Update, courtesy of the Crew's offical website. Some notes I found interesting:

Gino Padulla was added to the roster.

And he's pretty excited about. Unfortunately for Leonard Griffin, he's no longer with America's Hardest Working Team. Which I'm sure is tough for any player that leaves the Massive Club that is Columbus. Padula will be taking the left back position from Stefani Miglioranzi (who is playing out of position), though I would be surprised if he gets the start this weekend against the Drinks. Hopefully, Padulla can fit right in with the system and be a tough-nosed defender for the Crew. Also, a good cheer we might want to use for him:

Glory, glory Hallelujah / Crushing tackles from Padula
He will run right through ya / The Crew goes marching on


Guilherme So' (pronounced "SAH") scored for the Crew reserves on Sunday.

Apparently, he knocked home a bicycle for the 2nd team! That's encouraging, as we saw in the Metapan game he has the moves on the ball to make defenders miss. If he has finishing abilities as well, he may well be a diamond in the rough for the Crew. Also, I thought everyone should know how to pronounce his name, as pronouncing it "so" might lead to a ton of bad puns.

Of course, if he scores a game winner, you can guarantee that CTID will be rocking a "So' Amazing!" headline the next day.


Will Hesmer (pronounced "William") records first clean sheet of the season.

Not sure why, but in this update, they keep referring to him as "William" instead of Will. Are we Crew fans missing something? Does Ricky Bobby prefer "Richard"? I'm confused...


One last NCR item.
Don't forget to scout the opposition tomorrow night, as there are two games on ESPN2:
New England at Shitcago - 8:00 pm
San Jose at L.A. - 10:30 pm

Not Crew Related - 4/1/2008

OK, these aren't April Fool's pranks, just some news from around the soccer world that is not related to the Black and Gold. By the way, did anyone see Gmail's prank this year? Pretty funny.

Taylor Twellman is getting surgery on his knee. Rumor has it the surgery is just cosmetic. Also, it's being performed by the Kick Medic.

Toronto is looking to score a goal this year, changing strategy from last season. And apparently, Mo is looking to powerhouses Barnsley and Derby County to strengthen his attack. Hey, at least Barnsley has beaten a few decent teams this year. Mo does know there are other nations that play soccer, yes?

McBride back in the U.S. Kit? Ives seems to think so. Then again, some would wonder if Ives believes the pre-dated Gmail scam.

DC Kia? Maybe. Ives also seems to think a foreign carmaker is going to end up sponsoring the Scum's jerseys this year.

Maybe they can get one of those new Mercedes economy cars to get ol' Moreno around on the field...

Just Like Magic...

POOF! He's gone.

Maciej Zurawski signs with Greek side Larissa.

Honestly, I was debating whether or not to use "Larissa Expains It All" as the title.

First off, it's easy to blame the Crew, Hunt Sports Group, McCullers, MLS, etc... But the blame lies squarely with Zurawski, if anyone. He was the one who decided that he would rather go play for a suck-ass 3rd division Greek squad than to play for the Crew. His agent didn't so much as give the Crew a chance to counter offer. Obviously, Zurawski got a better offer, took the money, and ran. That's his perogative (or is that "pirogitive?", but that's not on the Crew FO. I wish they would have got this deal done, but as more details come out, there looks as though there wasn't much those guys could do.

This loss does suck, just because it puts the Crew back at square one, looking for an impact player who can join the squad and make an immediate impact. However, I don't think it's the end of the world. Remember, last year, Sigi pulled Guillermo Barros Schelotto out of Argentina in the first month of the season. Since the Crew have been actively looking, there's a chance they have other solid "back up" players they're loking at, and in MLS, a "back-up" plan can still be a 15 goal-scorer.

Still, it's maddening the luck this club seems to have sometimes. My hope is that by the end of the season, we're toasting the DP signee we got, and looking back on this ordeal as a blessing, and not a curse.

Also, I hope Zurawski breaks every leg in his sausage-eating body.