Smitty's Silly Preview - Game 11: San Jose

If MLS were a hospital, and the Crew were a patient, the appropriate medical diagnosis to describe the Crew's lineups of late would have to be something along the lines of "herpes". You can live with it, but it definitely decreases your chances of scoring. But the boys are returning home, and if Don Garber truly were a doctor, one would have to assume he couldn't prescribe any better rehabilitation for the Crew than a game against San Jose.

Oh and speaking of doctors and medical and such, Moffat could be out for the season, and Padula isn't back to health yet. Good times.

SAN JOSE


WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW: Kai Kamara, the latest flaming douche to join the ranks of other Crew enemies like Razov, Joseph, Heaps, and Moreno, will not be playing this weekend, due to a national team call up for Sierra Leone. Some will say the SL National Team can beat Nigeria, but frankly, I don't think they have a leg to stand on.

Oh, and speaking of douchebags, let's not forget former Crew player and current San Jose player Eric Denton, who once famously flipped off Columbus fans while he was still playing for the Black and Gold. And yes, I just linked back to my own article.

NEW ADDITIONS: The Quakes gave John Cunliffe some playing time last week, and it seemed he did well. Also, San Jose just purchased a few more lawn chairs, bringing the full capacity of Buck Shaw Stadium to 74.

BIG HOLES TO FILL: Well-meaning San Jose players will still be trying to fill the net at Crew Stadium. Unfortunately, there will be more balls on the CCS stage than if the Crewzers all turned out to be transvestites. Speaking of, (Crewzers, not transvestites), let's hope the Girls in Gold all have medical coverage in the off case that Ned Grabavoy lines up a free kick.

2008 PREDICTION: San Jose will win another game this season. Maybe.

(Sadly, many of you don't realize how flimsy of a limb that truly is.)

Match preview here.

GAME PREDICTION: With Moffat and Padula out, and with the Crew having not scored since, well, the last time we played San Jose, Sigi finally gets off his ass and erases the lineup he's been putting up on the whiteboard these last three weeks. Out comes Evans and EZ, in comes Ekpo, Junge, and Lenhart, the Crew go with a 3-man back line, and win 5-0. Hey, a guy can dream, can't he?

In all seriousness, I do believe Robbie Rogers takes out some frustrations on San Jose, and the Crew win a nailbiter 3-2.