Eric Denton Has Got...

...Balls on his...

Oops. Sorry, that's the start of the chant longtime Crew fans will be singing when Eric Denton rolls into town with his new club, the San Jose Earthquakes. That game will be June 7th, so circle your calendars now. In blood.

"Why all this animosity towards Eric Denton" one might ask. Glad you did.

You see, many moons ago, Eric Denton played for this fine orgainzation known as the Columbus Crew. This was during one of the darker periods in Crew history, when a man named Greg Andrulis lorded over the starting eleven. He was a terrible coach, a man who threw out things like logic and reason, in favor of more unconventional methods of determining the best players. He was rumored to have based his decision to re-sign Duncan Oughton over Brian Maisonneuve after deciding that Oughton's hair color more closely matched the color of Andrulis's beard. He also hated children, puppies, and rainbows.

Anyway, it was during these dark ages that Mr. Denton played for the Crew. And it was in one specific game that he managed to completely and permanently enshrine himself in the Columbus Crew hall of shame.

The game was a US Open Cup match against a lowly USL side, the Syracuse Salty Dogs. Let's just say that the Salty Dogs did not have a storied history. In fact, they barely had ANY history, as they were only formed in 2003, and discontinued operations in 2004. But during the 20 months they graced the soccer universe with their presence, the Dogs played a game in Crew Stadium, for the US Open Cup. The Crew won that game controversially, as Kyle Martino drew a phantom PK in stoppage time that was converted by Ross Paule, giving the Crew a 2-1 victory. But for most of the game, the Crew were plainly outplayed by their USL adversaries.

I could go on and on about how poorly the Crew played, or that they barely beat at USL team, or that this win was one of the lowest points in Crew history. But the point of this story is to instead shed light on one particular event in that terrible match. After an outstandingly horrific play, in which Mr. Denton ignored acres of green space set before him, and opted to pass to a teammate who was clearly marked by two men, some Crew fans started to holler at him. "You can do better than that", they yelled. "That was a terrible idea, get your head in the game," one screamed. Nothing more than constructive criticism in the CTID book, but criticism nonetheless. And Mr. Denton, whom one would assume had grown accustomed to insults being hurled his way, was having none of it.

After all, he's Eric F*cking Denton...

With the gusto that was usually only reserved for drivers who swerved in front of him during rush hour, Mr. Denton told those fans and anyone else watching that he felt they were number one. He flipped them the bird. Gave them the one-finger salute. Whatever euphenism works for you. Eric Denton was pissed, and he let his middle finger, in outstretched glory, do the talking.

After processing the moment (remember, this is a Crew player flipping off Crew fans in Crew Stadium), the fans continued all the more loudly in their harrassment of the terribly unskilled Mr. Denton, to the point that he eventually fled Columbus in shame. (If you'd like to read what else some of those fans did, you can read the Big Soccer discussion forum after that game, which is linked here.) But as was alluded to a moment ago, Mr. Denton was never the same. He went from playing for one of the best clubs in MLS, to the utterly criminal Colorado Crapids organization, to being completely out of professional soccer by 2007. Well, he wasn't completely out of professional soccer, as MLS Rumors was reporting that Denton had opened a side business of performing sexual favors for MLS referees.

In due time, many fans forgot about the whole nasty incident (the bird flipping, not the fellatio). And no doubt when Eric Denton shows his mug in Crew stadium this June, many fans will scarcely remember that the man even played for the Black and Gold. But we here at CTID would hope that true Crew fans will come out to the match and do the only thing that true supporters can do to welcome back a former, disgraced player.

Ride his ass for the full 90 minutes.